u/ycherep1

We recently decided to transition to an American daycare after having a Russian speaking nanny for financial reasons. No family in town so just me...not any Russian speaking families in our area either.

I automatically just speak English since I grew up in the states but call my folks in Russian over the phone. My little one is 20 months. Unfortunately, even if we video call, they aren't speaking to him except to say his name.... "Hey, X! Look at babushka! Hey X! X! X!"

Its been 2 months and I have seen his language skills go down that he doesn't recognize the questions he used to know the answers to. I'm so upset. I gave my paycheck to this nanny till I literally went broke....

Now I'm not sure how to support him myself or switch ot the Russian speaking conversation when I literally speak English all day at work or with hubby.

I know when he gets a little older and we introduce screen time, we will be watching old Russian cartoons. But its sooo hard to do this alone. I found a Russian toddler class about 30 min away that starts in September on Sunday mornings for about an hour.

I miss NY where there was a large community and family who would enrich him with my language and culture.

Any advice when you are alone and at that young age? I wish I could have kept the nanny, honestly....

We just got some air tags for our 20 mo who has learned to run thanks to everyone's wonderful recommendations for them.

However, I forgot to ask & since summer is around the corner. What kind of holder for the air tag do you use that stays on your kid?

Pins seems ....sharp. Throwing into a shoe is hard since we have 3-4 different pairs to track... I would think in the winter, I could just throw it into his coat pocket but with summer... What works for your little one?

Welll.... I had a really weird experience with my toddler where he found a lollipop at the shop we were at, unwrapped it and stuck it in his mouth.

This is the same kid who had no idea what to do with an ice cream cone. Where did he learn to eat a lollipop?

Or did my 20 month old learn elsewhere, from somebody what to do?

What was your kid's first lollipop experience?

Our 19 mo toddler just started daycare & of course is very sick with a fever and cough. So our original plan to go to hot springs are cancelled. Taking him to dr today after a rough night and if contagious, we are definitely staying in...

So what would you do or what have you done for a Mother's Day in (no grandparents around)?

Just a dumb question..... At what age did you feel comfortable putting your arm around a toddlers chest while sleeping. My 18 mo is wriggling in bed and I just want to hug him to me to trap him and get him to fall asleep.

However, I have not lost baby weight and im definitely worried about crushing his chest with the weight of my arm..... So when did you feel comfortable hugging and cuddling your toddler in your arms to sleep? Is it a certain age or weight?

What is the salary difference between you and partner where 2 full time parents still makes sense?

Im about $65k and hubby is getting offer for about triple what I make.... I'm kinda kicking around idea to go part time with how little I make compared to him. Its such a waste of time and utterly frustrating. My whole salary goes to childcare and dumb expenses. Hubby pays the majority of the bills.

Maybe I will go back to school for a different job? I've been working 10 years and made little headway up the financial ladder.

I'm remote graphic designer btw in the States and I'm primary caregiver to our toddler when not working.

I'm thinking of taking a year to pay of the rest of my student loans and just calling it. Move to freelance and part-time.

How do you deal with toxic sils? I'm definitely at my wits end with them. We have a few trips a year back home and have to play nice. But this year, I'm not pushing it. My folks moved out of state so I have to spend whole time with them. Im definitely oblivious in screwing up on a ton of things that they will continue to gossip on behind my back.

One sister gets upset and just complains to everyone but me so definitely been rightfully oblivious on that end. The other just picks fights and is a bully. Usually gets upset for the other sil & texts me these long out of nowhere messages on her or someone else's behalf. I get anxiety from them & usually can't sleep. We are polar opposites so what I say triggers her and what she says triggers me.

I hate holidays season because of this. I even had hubby organize the last xmas trip because of it -wrong move since everything went even more wrong than usual....

But I def fudged up last xmas holiday & still getting heat from it. I moved on with my life & went back to my routine. I kept contact limited & not entering into their twisted gossip circle.

We are from 2 different worlds, culturally and mentality. We agree on very little and its even more apparent with kids.

Its definitely brought up to my husband when they call & a wedge in our marriage. He says they hate me so I'm the bad guy if I talk to them or don't. It adds fuel to a bad day or ruins a good day in our marriage for weeks.

Before Xmas, my marriage took a turn for the worse so why even try with them? For my toddler? For my marriage? I'm working and momming - I don't have time for this! Why even try? Why even go visit? Why not tell them to f- off?

You definitely marry the family when you pick your partner & goodness, I've been so dumb thinking things would work out..

What do y'all do with required SIL visits?