r/cosleeping

where do most kids sleep at night?

According to her data, no one is bed sharing? As someone who has partially co-slept since my baby was around 5 months, I’m surprised. I was dead set on never co-sleeping, then reality set in for me. I personally know ppl who co-slept, not everyone. And if you look at any social media, many ppl do it. I want to say people are lying but at the same time…why would ppl lie on an anonymous questionnaire.

EDIT: this isn’t a post where I’m asking about OPINIONS on co-sleeping. I’m asking if it’s the reality. Also, shaming it IS NOT HELPFUL as all it does is make people lie. I’m merely asking if it’s the reality or ppl are lying.

Also, the United States is one of a few countries that actively discourages bed sharing. There are many countries where it is considered normal.

I started cosleeping with my son when he was a month old. I would’ve started sooner but he broke his arm at birth (long story) and I wanted to wait until it healed first.

He slept in bed with me and nursed to sleep/throughout the night until he completely weaned at ~28 months, when I was 7 months pregnant with my second. We kept cosleeping until the baby was born, and then he moved into his own room and started cosleeping with my husband.

He’s now 3.5 yo and is starting to sometimes go all the way through the night without asking my husband to come sleep next to him. Hes a woken up to pee and gone back to bed completely on his own! He’s even been asking to try to fall asleep on his own after bedtime books (he hasn’t actually done it yet but wants to try). We haven’t done anything to push independent sleep but he’s starting to be interested in trying it.

I just wanted to post this as reassurance to people with little babies who are getting pressure from loved ones not to cosleep or else you’ll never get them out of your bed. If you give them time, almost all of them want some space and independence eventually. We have no plans to push independent sleep any further and are following his lead. It’s so cool to see. He basically self weaned as well (I night weaned, but he decided to end it at bedtime too) and that was also cool to see him make that choice himself.

Baby girl is almost 5 months. She’s EBF and we’ve co slept since birth

We usually put her in between us but it’s sooooo hard . 9/10 she wakes up when I transfer her and she wants to be nursed again which results in me nursing her while she lays there and turning her towards me .

I think because of this too she’s waking up 6-7 times a night (yeah I’m exhausted)

Any tips for transferring?
I wait until she’s pretty passed out but it doesn’t seem to help.

I have bedshared 100% since my first daughter was about 3 months old. She’ll turn 3 years old in a few weeks (time really is a thief🥹) and we now have a 3 month old as well. Right now, my husband, 3 year old, and I bedshare in our big family bed (2 queens pushed together) and our baby sleeps in a bedside bassinet.

I’d cosleep with my babies for the rest of my life🤣😭 I love it and I love them and love going to sleep together, cuddling, and waking up together.

When did your cosleeping babies age out? As she turns 3, it’s making me wonder when it becomes a selfish choice of mine to not introduce her to her own bed? (She doesn’t even currently have one, her room is basically just a dressing and play room.)

Anyone have experience like this? Of loving it, and having your babies grow? How did you navigate it? Can I keep going without a “plan” so long as it is working for our family? I should note, my husband works nights most of the week so it’s always been her and I snuggled up💕 I don’t like sleeping alone either!!

Thanks in advance. Happy snuggling.

I am a ftm and my son will be 15 weeks tomorrow. He slept his first few weeks of life in a bassinet next to our bed however at 3.5 weeks like a switch flipped he never would sleep in the bassinet again. We learned the safe sleep seven, moved him into the bed and have never looked back. However the last 4-5 weeks he has refused to nap during the day unless he is being held. I struggle every day with how exhausted I am as he still wakes up every 2.5-3.5 hrs throughout the night. I need more sleep and my psychiatrist has said it’s the main reason he sees women struggle with PPD/PPA so I need to try and get as much as possible. But he won’t sleep not even next to me in bed. I read online all of the advice and I’ve tried everything and it doesn’t work. I have accidentally fallen asleep holding him on the couch a few times now and I’m scared he’s going to fall or get smothered. Does anyone have any advice at all. I’m desperate.

My lil guy is now 9 months, and for the past few months we have been bringing him into bed when he wakes at night, family is telling me Im going to 'create a monster' and ' Im going to regret this in 5 years' Now Im scared. Mind you, my husband and I love him in the bed

My 2.5 year old has always been a terrible night sleeper. We've coslept since 4 months old. He's never actually slept through the night. A good night is 1-2 wake ups, bad nights are 3-4.

Edit: bedtime is usually between 930-10, I start trying to get fun to sleep at 9

wake up is between 715-745

He's completely weaned from breastfeeding as of July.

We just cut out bouncing him to sleep and while it takes a bit longer he does fall asleep with me next to him.

He still uses a binkie just for sleep.

He's recently started having larger wake ups where he will dig his feet into me and push with all his strength and just cry and cry. Even if I sit up and try to rock him he will arch his back or flip over.

What am I doing wrong?

I cap his nap at 2 hours- I know people will say shorter and he does occasionally so this on his own but if I try to cap it earlier he will actively stay asleep even walking outside, turning on the TV, etc.

We have his 30 month appointment next week and will be talking about iron supplements.

The only other thing I feel like I should mention is that he is very tall for his age, like over the 99%. I don't know if growing has something to do with it.

I'm so tired of not sleeping. Help!

My LO is just now 7m and EBF. We have been cosleeping since he was a few weeks old. He’s a little legend when it comes to taking naps during the day now…he was a notorious contact napper.

Now we’re running into nighttime issues. He will often feed to sleep. The times he doesn’t, we are struggling. It’s like he doesn’t want to be rocked but then he doesn’t want to lay down either. I will try to lay down next to him and rub/pat his back. But he fights it and tries to sit up or move around. When I try to hold him he pushes off me. I finally kinda gave up tonight and just laid next to him while he cried and fussed. He eventually crawled on top of me and fell asleep. I’m honestly at a loss. It’s like he’s trying to put himself to sleep but just can’t do it. He also chronically wakes up 30-40 mins after falling asleep. But he’s super easy to get back down after.

Any tips or tricks or advice would be greatly appreciated!!

Hi all,
My wife and I have a beautiful, healthy, happy 14 week old son. We are a two mom household and we split the child rearing 50%. My wife gave birth but I was lucky to also have almost 15 weeks of leave as a teacher. We have had to formula feed since birth.

We have used a bassinet since birth, to no success. Our son will at most stay in the bassinet for 2.5 hours, but most nights, he needs some support every 20 minutes to an hour. We don’t want to sleep train him or make him an “independent sleeper”. If it wasn’t for the safe sleep fears, especially with formula fed babies, we’d have already coslept. We are looking forward to when we can all snuggle together at night.

I go back to my teaching job next week, and my wife goes back to work soon as well. My wife has recently started having more intensive postpartum anxiety symptoms, as a result of the sleep deprivation. We do sleep shifts, but that affords us between 4 and 6 hours of sleep a night. Of course that’s considered good for early parenthood, but with our impending return to work in jobs that require us to be “on” all day, we’re getting anxious and stressed that we won’t be able to safely rock him back to sleep with 5 hours or less. We have started finagling our evenings around that we come home at 4 and sleep at 6. We are getting obsessed with “gentle independent sleep foundations” that don’t work, and losing our minds with accounting for every minute of our evenings, just so that we could make it through until he sleeps a bit better. It was feeling so stressful and negative. My wife and I love our jobs, love our son, and want him to be safe. We want to be good, regulated, and safe parents. It felt a bit like we were losing our minds trying to make that happen with our current bedside bassinet set up.

Not to mention with shared childcare will come illness, sleep regressions (although can be even regress further?) and more disregulated sleep. He sleeps amazing on us-we have technically chest slept with him since birth, but we’ve just been awake when we’ve had to do this. He was going almost 10 hours with only one bottle in between at 10 weeks like that.

We have ordered a zonli wheat 4 inch floor mattress, with the intention of following every safe sleep 7 guideline other than breastfeeding. I’m hoping for some tips, other formula fed families, or just advice for our situation. And please, no formula feeding shaming. We have come to terms with our situation and are feeling confident. He is healthy and so incredibly happy, and we are past the 3 month mark!

Thank you!

This is gonna sound like a funny question but I’m being so serious🤣 maybe my little one is just a bald baby but she’s starting to get hair except for a rectangle on the back of her head! She’s 9 months old and was born with a full head (lost it all) but when she lost the most was when she would look left to right rubbing it bald. And it’s like, it’s not growing🤣

My 4m old sleeps in her crib beside me for her first stretch (3-5hrs) then we cosleep for the rest of the night and she wakes 2-3 times. Last night she woke at 0145. I fed her side lying, did some Reddit scrolling then got her into her safe position for sleep. She was squirming and not really falling asleep. I looked at the clock and it was almost 4am. I was so confused. I even went back and looked at the screen unlock on my phone. I unlocked it at 147 when she woke in her crib. I have no idea what happened and how 2hrs passed. I must have either slept while she was feeding or after I got her into her safe position but I don’t remember. I don’t ever sleep while she’s feeding because she’s laying on her side and very close to me.

The four month regression is upon us and now I don’t trust myself. I would love advice on how to get her in her crib all night. And also advice on how to set myself up better if crib transfers fail. She will only feed side lying at night so getting out of bed hasn’t worked for us.

We cosleep out of survival and have since the 4 month sleep regression.

We use an Owlet for peace of mind (please don’t share any negative opinions about the Owlet—it has been helpful and useful for us).

Baby is breastfed. She started crawling and sitting up on her own at 6 months. Got her two bottom front teeth at four months.

She has three naps a day for a total of about 1.5-2 hours. Even with these never-ending night wake ups, she’s still cumulatively getting 11-12 hours of sleep a night.

She goes to bed between 6-6:30 pm. I nurse her to sleep in our floor bed and then leave to hang out with my husband. She usually sleeps fine from 6-6:30-8:30 pm. I do my last pump at 8:30 and she starts waking around this time (I pump and breastfeed because I work full time).

I join her in bed at 9:00 pm.

We’ve gone through regressions for sure, especially as she mastered crawling. But we’re past that now, and she still starts screaming crying every 45 min-hour all. night. long.

She’s not even awake, though. But if I don’t nurse her right then, she’ll fully wake herself up and start crawling all over the bed and not go back to sleep for 2 hours (a full wake window).

What is happening and when will it end? 🫩 I’m so exhausted. She does this whether she’s in bed with me or not. I just keep her in the bed so she’s close and I can just pop the boob in but it’s so hard to go back to sleep 10+ times after being jilted awake by a screaming crying baby. My nervous system is fried beyond relief. I “sleep” from 9-6am, but only get 5-6 hours a night.

It’s misery. I’m so tired and irritable. I don’t know why she’s crying in her sleep constantly nor how to make it stop 😭😭😭😭

Any advice? Thank you ❤️

Context: nasty custody battle, kiddo was away from me for a year (not my choice), he just turned 11, we're working through the neglect/vague abuse he went through during that time (Dad's girlfriend makes me want to puke tbh), he chose to have the only bedroom in the basement as his dad's house (my best friend explained how it was to be the "basement brother"), he feels unwanted and unheard at Dad's, he's struggling with confidence and appropriate assertion, and now he can't stand being alone. These weren't issues we had before the bs we're going through now; this is new behavior.

I don't mind him sleeping with me. I'm slowly making him do more independent things when it comes to bedtime like brushing his teeth/hair by himself (which was totally normal before this bs) and falling asleep by himself (I'm in the living room, so he knows I'm close).

Has anyone had/heard of a similar experience? He can't sleep through the night without me. Nightmares, thrashing in his sleep, talking in his sleep, falling out of bed, the whole cake and eating it, too. I don't want to f\*ck my kid up . He has his own room, but he truly wants to sleep with me.

Like I said, I don't mind it. But can someone reassure me it's okay? Or give me advice on what to do if it's not?

It's my first time being alive and I am terrified of making mistakes with my kiddo.

EDIT: I failed to mention he is in individual therapy and therapy with me.

My babe is almost 17mo. We have bedshared and breastfed on demand since his first night earth side 💕

I’m beginning to wonder about nightweaning. Obviously I’m tired and haven’t had interrupted sleep for 17 months but I’m more curious for him. I’m just wondering if the quality of his sleep is actually good? Some days he has little bags under his eyes and he just fell asleep nursing at 9am (woke up at 7 and not due for a nap until 12)

He isn’t up for long periods in the night but def wakes up to switch sides and relatch etc.

On average he naps for 2-2.5 hours a day and sleeps for 10-11 hours a night.

Again, in ways I’d like to night wean for my own ability to sleep but am also wondering if it could benefit him. My husband hasn’t been able to soothe him in the night since he was like 6 months or so. I also wonder if night weaning might allow my husband to be more of comfort. Babe is such a booby barnacle though and loooooves to nurse. He’s also been working on molars so I know nursing has been a huge comfort.

Is the only way to know if it’s beneficial to just try?

Hello. I have been co sleeping with my baby girl since she came home 8 weeks ago! I said I would never co sleep but here we are.
And I LOVE it.

CURRENT SET UP:

I have a king size mattress. Model and info: Dormeo polythene foam mattress. I THINK medium firm? I sleep with my LO alone and my husband sleep in the spare bedroom (closet on the floor lol) I EBF my baby and we sleep in C curl position and 1 nurse her to sleep. I rotate sides of the bed every few nights. LO will start in the middle and l'll move on the left or right of her to switch oreasts.

I have a heavy duvet which I fold and only keep at the bottom of my bed. When I use it I grab the corner of the duvet and tuck it around my waist in the back and then the front part between my legs. I love the feeling of my legs being cushioned and cushion between my knees.

I sleep with long sleeve tight crop top and maternity tanks or bras for easy access when feeding and so they no heavy fabric falls on baby if we fall asleep together. I sleep with flannel PJ pants. LO sleeps in sleeper and a light cotton sleep sack if the room is cold due to AC. If she gets hot in the night I undue her sleeper cupped and she sleeps with it half open.

CURRENT CONCERNS:

My LO was kicking and grunting in the early morning and started to roll on her right side towards me. At this point I was awake and so was she so I pulled her in close to my C curve on her back so she wouldn't roll. I tested the mattress (best I can without CDs and milk cartons lol) and just pushed half my body weight into fists next to her and she leans to the side but if I just lay next to her normally she doesn't roll or lean. Does this mean my mattress is to soft? Should flip it over and try the other side? Should I get a firm mattress topper and if so, any recommendations? I am leaning towards just flipping it over????

Floor bed: 1 am planning on moving bed to floor on wooden planks
- is this a good idea? also bought a guard rail for one side of the bed but how reliable is that?
Heavy duvet probably needs to go once baby starts rolling, right?
What do you guys wear to bed? It's cold in Canada and I love the feeling of my legs and feet wrapped in a warm blanket ugh but l am willing to give it up if I need to..

OTHER:

I have the owlet which honestly give me peace of mind in case she rolls and starts to loose oxygen... I know it's not meant for that and it's not 100% but it still gives me peace of mind.

Any other recommendations?

Thanks for the help!

Hi all

I’m co-sleeping with my four month old and looking for some advice on how to make it a bit more sustainable.

Atm she’s in our king size adult bed with me and my partner, following all the safety guidelines, and we’re in the room with her for all her sleep. She wakes regularly in the night and I feed her back to sleep side lying. She’s a light sleeper so I don’t try to move her after that but I sometimes shuffle backwards a bit to give us both more room, or just accept she needs to be close if that doesn’t work.

Once she gets to six months, I’m hoping I can feed her to sleep, roll away and leave the room so me and my partner have a couple of hours in the evening, and am trying to think of the best set up to facilitate this.

My current thinking is either a sidecar that’s flush with our mattress (e.g. the Ikea Sniglar hack) or a single floor bed that I can get into with her, in our room or a separate one.

I’m assuming she’ll still be coming into our bed later in the night but I’d like to get her to sleep in her own space for the initial stretch so she’s safe and we can work towards longer stretches over time. I’d like to find a set up we can keep for a little while if possible, so we don’t have to work through too many transitions with her.

Has anyone used either of these approaches? What’re the pros and cons? Are there any other options I’m missing? Thanks!

You are 2 and half feet tall. How do you do this?

My LO is 11 weeks old and I was having worries that his head is getting flat. At his 2 month pediatrician appointment the ped confirmed his head is getting a bit flat and told us we need to do more tummy time. We do sooooo much tummy time.

The thing is… my LO has been such a great sleeper, since he was about 3 weeks old he’s had pretty long stretches through the night and they just keep getting better and better as he gets older. Now, he’ll be down by 9:30pm wake up for a feed around 6-7am (sometimes I even have to wake him up bc he can go longer) go back to sleep and wake back up around 930am. That’s basically 12 hours of being on his back. For this reason, during the day I try to keep him off his back as much as possible. This includes lots of tummy time, baby wearing, carrying him, and strictly only contact naps.

For parents who had amazing sleepers, what did you guys do to prevent a flat head from happening??? I’m getting so stressed about this bc I don’t want him to get a helmet. But I also want him to get his hours of sleep. My partner is now insisting that after he wakes up for his feed at 6-7am, to let him contact sleep with me to keep him off his back, but I also fall back asleep so I don’t feel comfortable letting him be on my chest for about 2-3 hours while we’re both asleep. Please give me some tips!!

I’ve got a 2-week old and a toddler who just turned 2 earlier this month. We intended to all sleep in the same bed but my toddler would NOT sleep in my husband’s arms if I was right there at night so he and my husband are currently sleeping in my toddler’s room at night. I’m cosleeping in our master bedroom alone with the newborn.

However, I’m doing nap time at the middle of the day with both kids. My sister is helping right now so she can grab my newborn is he gets fussy in the nap time bassinet in our room while I cuddle with the toddler to sleep for his nap, but I’m worried about when she leaves. Ideally I’d like to all lay down for a nap and then slip out with my newborn after the toddler falls asleep, but I don’t think my toddler will appreciate it… he likes to be snuggled on my chest with hands in my armpits. I’m also worried about seeing my newborn cry in our bedroom while I’m putting toddler down for a nap once my sister is gone and I’m at the mercy of how quickly my toddler settles down before I can go get my newborn.

Anyone have a genius idea that worked for them? Looking to maybe try a few different things to see what the right fit for us will be especially once my help goes away.