r/nostalgiacritic

Doug has talked about the Daniel Craig films when they were new, be it Skyfall with Rob, and a quick review of No Time To Die when it came out, but he's never done a deep dive into the franchise, which has always fascinated me. It's by far and away one of the largest movie franchises of all time, only being surpassed by Godzilla, and in recent years by the MCU.

As a massive Bond fan myself, I personally enjoy all 25 of the EON films, though I can certainly put on a critical lens and say that objectively, some of them are absolutely Nostalgia Critic worthy. I've even gone up to bat for films like The World Is Not Enough and Die Another Day, two films which people seem to have a serious problem with (okay, I understand Die Another Day, but TWINE is overhated in my opinion.)

He's obviously seen a good chunk of the series, and I've heard him and Rob name drop quite a few of the older ones, even if they never fully reviewed them, so it just got me thinking- why hasn't he talked about them much at all? Even if you make the argument that even the worst 007 film isn't necessarily THAT bad (I'd agree,) it isn't like he hasn't reviewed plenty of good films in recent memory. Not to mention the fact that a TON of the films he does review, and even ones he doesn't, owe a lot to the franchise as a whole, as it was groundbreaking ever since its' inception on the big screen in 1962.

Maybe it's just me as a fan of this franchise wanting it to get its' flowers, seeing it be kinda sidelined over the past decade, but I think the interesting thing about the Bond films is that you really can't judge them based off of their critical reception. I know plenty of Bond fans who adore a film like Moonraker, even if it's considered by critics to be one of the worst in the series. I know people who wouldn't consider Goldfinger to be Connery's best Bond film, I know people who wouldn't consider Goldeneye to be Brosnan's best (I'm in that camp, I prefer his next two films,) so on and so forth, so I think it'd be really interesting to see what he has to say about each actor's tenure, and maybe find new favorites or reinforce his current ones.

It's just interesting to me that we've gotten Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Mission Impossible, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Mad Max, the MCU, pretty much every Batman film, the DC Cinematic Universe... But no Bond..? Even with Skyfall being the seventh highest grossing film of all time when it finished its' run in theaters? I dunno, I personally think it's due.

Doug Funnie is the ironically named bland, wet blanket protagonist of the eponymously named cartoon "Doug." It takes all of three minutes for one to notice that he is severely mentally ill, likely a danger to himself and the community, yet the characters and show itself continuously ignore the warning sides, unintentionally mimicking the American society that has done the same thing time after time.

Doug's mental illness is first and foremost clear in his major depressive tendencies. He's like Charlie Brown without the brain tumor. Self-effacing, self-critical, defined by his lack of definition; he's an empty hole of a human without genuine interests and connection. A majority of the episodes have him stewing in isolation and sadness, all the while his parents make fun of him or ignore him as they tend to his drug addict sister.

Secondly, Doug is clearly delusional. He copes with his trauma (more on that in a bit) and depression through dissociative episodes. Unable to rise to the occasion and be a fucking man (or even straw-man representation of a human being), he disappears into delusion, imagining himself as characters like Smash Adams, Durango Doug, Quail Man and Jack Bandit. It should be noted that these delusional alter personas are all derivative of pop culture figures, demonstrating that even in his wildest dreams Doug lacks panache, creativity, uniqueness, or any semblance of a back bone.

His super hero form wears tightie whities and straps a belt on his head. This is his ideal form. Jesus fucking Christ what are we doing?

This isn't just imagination. Doug actually loses track of reality and is shown in the show acting out his fantasies to the point of endangering himself (one time he almost gets hit by a fucking car). He speaks to himself and these characters frequently and oddly imagines his dog (which some asshole named Porkchop) as having incredible human like abilities. Porkchop communicates with Doug in advanced ways, drives vehicles, sets up traps, and saves the day on multiple occasions, again demonstrating that Doug has less agency and ability than a fucking dog but also that he is imagining all of this.

Doug has been isolated since childhood. His friends allow him to exist in their general space but never quite accept him as one of their own. He's always on the outside pining for Patti Mayonnaise who clearly would much rather have Chalkie Studebaker take her down to Stitson's pond to bag a nematode.

That's another thing: Doug's friends are all vastly superior to him. Smarter. Funnier. More capable. Skeeter is a shit bag weirdo loser but he's still wayyyy cooler and funnier than Doug (honk honk). Chalkie Studebaker is a regular Nietzchean ubermensch. He's nice, funny, smart, popular, and the greatest jock on the goddamn planet. Seriously, in one episode he's the star quarterback who throws a pass over the line, runs past every other player, and catches his own pass for a touchdown.

Let's me clear: throwing a pass to yourself in American football is illegal. You cannot throw and catch the ball unless someone else hits it first. Chalkie breaks the rule, scores a touchdown, and no one gives a fuck because he's goddamn Chalkie Studebaker. He carries the entire team on his shoulders and then what happens?

Doug, the kicker, goes out to try and win the game. He bumbles it (of course) falling on his ass and sending his shoe flying through the goal post. The crowd cheers until Referrer Assistant Principal Bone blows his whistle and boldly declares "no, the shoe doesn't count!". This is something I still yell while watching football to this day.

He's viciously bullied by Roger Klotz, who wears a sweet leather jacket and clowns on Doug without effort. He probably also fucks Doug's mom too.

The person who is kindest to him? His neighbor Mr. Dink who continually invites him into his garage to do special experiments. He invites Doug regularly, speaks moistly in a creepy voice, repeatedly pats and rubs his back, and for god's sake the man's last man is Dink.

We all know what's happening and no one is helping.

Doug is inferior and knows it. He falls into psychotic delusions. He self-isolates. He's spiraling and handling his abuse on his own. He is a powder keg ready to blow. What is the trajectory of such a kid in modern times? He will be denied love, community, happiness, or any shred of self-esteem.

Doug Funnie will lash out. He will strike at a world he views has been unkind to him. He is the archetype for so many who have committed acts of mass violence. I wouldn't be surprised if some idolized him and his shitty underwear worn on the outside of his pants as Quailman.

Our society overlooks people screaming for help and we reap what we sow, and Doug Funnie is the epitome of this