Questions that bother me
Salam Alaykum,
i am in the beginning of my 30s and i did some mistakes concerning porn and i pray that Allah swt protect all people from porn.
-> i never had a relationship with a girl
-> i found my questions unfortunately in porn which lead me into more insecurities, anxiety and hopelessness. My Iman, faith did downgrade than 10 yrs ago
-> i was bullied that i have a voice like a girl, some told me i were gay and etc
-> so in conclusion i faced a lot insult even from my family
-> of course these points harms my masculinity
now i am in my 30s. I didnt have any experience with a girl. Family tell me to marry. I want to marry but i feel lazy, i feel nowadays less libido. No mood to watch porn Alhamdullilah and this frightens me. I sometimes want to be alone. I dont feel proud to myself to marry. Then i think if i had sexual experience i would feel more masculine. This porn stuff bothers me a lot. My prayers dont get answers like they got answered years ago.
I am going to gym but this year i got sick several times then i had a leg injury. So i feel like the German football team as i live in Germany.
I am powerless. I have a lot worries about future. For example: I am worried about first time that i dont be able to perform good and etc..
What are your suggestions ?
Thanks