r/writingdivergently

Not really a book rec, but in this space I haven’t ever thought about classifying those books as queer representation I suggest.

Generally, I like to find those special books no one would propose, or the wholesome stories about blossoming from the ashes of bad experiences and finding identity.

And today, I saw videos about HR, so I thought it would be a nice conversation to have. Because I don’t know who’s in this community and I’m curious.

What do these books tell you, in terms of queer representation, specifically gay male representation?

Do they make you feel seen or are they entertaining without resonance with you?

I mean it kind of came.

More than a decade ago, I was in uni and I wrote a scene of a woman fighting demons in her modern office, alongside a man who looked like your classic Diablo III Barbarian.

Two years ago or so, I wrote a diary after being in therapy for some time. That diary was about my youth and the anger my parents gave me, when they told me I wasn’t gay and convinced me to go through therapy to prove it.

That woman was everything I loved in a Fantasy: femininity, strength, fight.

That boy was everything I wanted to leave behind through healing. Or find again, maybe.

I merged the two. One day I thought it could be a great idea to insert both in a single story, as two sides of one coin.

The story that came out turned out to be about an autistic adult woman and a queer boy, separated by barriers that keep worlds afar, and only they can cross. If they’re together. But they aren’t. They just feel each other, like a Sense8 kind of bond.

It’s not like I wanted to represent autistic or queer people.

It was personal. It was my story. My relationship with my feminine side and my wish to see that boy be strong and wield incredible powers.

Looking back, I see now that story appeals to many who hear me talking about it and say, “I went through that!” or “Vanessa is so relatable!” or “Danny makes me want to hug him.”

That’s why I thought, maybe stories that are a bit unconventional and niche, those about the rough sides of being an autistic adult masking through life and being the hero, or the queer boy hiding his sexuality, imagining to run away until he crosses to another world and his wish is granted… maybe that’s wholesome. There’s beauty in telling that story.

I wish I could say, I wanted to represent people like me because it’s right and I made an artistic choice.

I didn’t.

I just told my story and what I knew from my life and the life of people I knew, and somehow it became about magic, parallel worlds and a prophecy.

But deep down I healed myself with it.

I was selfish.

For once, I’m not ashamed.