u/-Dthrowaway-

Excuse my english.It's not my first language.

25F. I'm dealing with pi-ibs and sibo for more than 3 years. It has been getting worse after last year. I'm hopelss and kinda spend my time waiting until my life ends.

I can't eat most of food, and I lost all the safe foods so everyday is somehow deliberating. It's scary. I can't take medicine most of time even something else gone wrong. My body is total mess, it's not surprising if I die when I caught cold or something.

Anyway ,after it got so bad, I isolated myself from my friends. Watching them living normal life makes me feel so jeolos and it made me hate them. I know it's unmature and selfish but that is my honest feeling. They are eating whatever,making money find fiancé. I'm just on my bed , waiting another wave of diarrhea.

They know I'm sick so at first they were worried about me but after 3 year my friends also kid of lost interest in me.

I was hopeful, full of dream back in 2023, going university but now, I'm just breathing on my bed. Not willing to commit any harm on myself but fantasizing go to sleep and just never wake up.

I miss having friends, sending each other silly tiktok and talking about kpop. I lost them all.

Diarrhea got worse, so I need bandaid...Trying antibiotics should be option but I'm scared so... My Sibo/Pi-ibs is from food poisoning which never went away.

Is it safe to take Immodium??I bought it but yet scared to take it.

That's it...Now nothing is safe. I'm planning to try loperamide but I'm not sure if it'll work. Depressing as hell

No need for medical advice.I'm just panicking and need reassurance or success stories or something. Honestly I don't know.

Long story short, food poisoning recoccured while I was healing from initail pi-ibs. I was able to eat things that I enjoy but downhill from there. That was 9 months ago but barely no improvement. Things improves like 0.1% everymonth but eating something outside of my safe food(I only have 7~8 things, such as potato, rice, fish) worsens symptoms like 10%. It's hard game to play.

I'm less suicidal than 7 months before so maybe there's something that improved? But compare to 3 months ago, things are same.

I can't even eat one piece of chocolate whithout at least weeks of consequences.

For about 4 days ago I'm going through flare up eventhough I sticked to my safe food. diarrhea in the morning again.

When I was going through initial pi-ibs my friends were graduating from college/finding their jobs.This second time they are getting married...I feel so sad. I was able to go outside atleast but now I'm back to homebounded since 9months ago. I don't know how long I can tolerate my life.

I contacted food poisoning 1 in 2021, 2 time in 2023(this caused me pi-ibs), once again in 2025.

Probiotics makes me feel sick. Rifaximin worked(I guess?) for a month and then relapsed(this was in 2023). Time was onlything that helped me back in 2023~2025.

.

After food poisoning in 2025, I'm back to square 1 and genuinely feel worst. There are only 9 food that I can tolerate which is less than 2023. I'm not sure if I will ever feel better again. My wits end.

My symptoms are : diarrhea, tenesmus, gassy stomach, pain after meal.

Anyone with similiar experience?