u/-dutchcactus-

guys I'm so sorry to be a negative nancy but i need commiseration. please don't take this as a horror story like me trying to convince you to not get an iud - everything ended up okay in the end, and my experience, as far as i'm aware, is pretty unusual.

so a few weeks ago i (22f) had my first ever obgyn appointment with the intention of getting a pap smear and talking about some irregular periods. to start, i made *very clear* to my obgyn that i was quite nervous. i was interested in talking about other forms of birth control because the pill just really didn't work well for me and my obgyn seemed enthusiastic enough about it. i was NOT anticipating an iud insertion that same day, but she was all, "hey, if we're already in there for your pap, why don't we just throw one in?" i'm all for convenience and it was presented *extremely* casually, so i said sure.

next thing i know, i'm spread open where the sun don't shine. fine enough. not the most pleasant, but it is what it is. pap is over before i know it, a tiny cramp if that, maybe a 3/10 on the pain scale. she reaches for the iud and shows it to me -- "see? it's little! we just push these prongs into the uterus and you're set."

she pushes it in. OUCH. 5/10 on the pain scale.

she goes to clip the strings. accidentally rips it out. 6/10.

grabs a new iud. tries to push it in. gets it finally. it expels. 6.5/10.

grabs a **THIRD IUD.** pushes it in. 7/10. i'm gritting my teeth and laughing and being a good sport because it is what it is and i'd rather muscle through than ask for a break.

mind you, 20 minutes ago i had no idea i was getting one of these suckers put in. *i have no pain meds and have had 1 iud ripped out of me accidentally, 1 expelled, and now one sitting inside of my uterus.*

i sit up and the nurse and obgyn both look at my face (probably paler than a ghost) and tell me to lay back down. "you've been through a lot" they both say.

not one more word is exchanged between myself and my obgyn about the procedure, next steps, pain management, or anything else. she exits the room and says "i'll be right back" -- spoiler alert, she does not come back.

the nurse left to grab me some juice, and she stands outside the door while i drink it. i stand up when i'm done and look down.

***there is blood STREAMING down my legs, and it's about to hit my socks. hell no.***

i panic and run for the door but the nurse is nowhere to be seen. i start rummaging through drawers (probably illegal but i was desperate, i was not about to have blood between my toes) and finally find a tiny panty liner. *that'll do,* i think, and start wiping off my legs with one of those awful, stiff, brown paper towels by the sink.

at this point, i'm still waiting for the obgyn to come back. it's been about 10 minutes so i start putting my clothes on.

now the pain hits.

and oh my god, i've never felt this intensity of pain before in my entire life. obviously i've never given birth, had a kidney stone, or anything else that people deem to be the worst pain ever, but if this wasn't a 9/10 i fear i know nothing. it was *genuinely* blinding, like the pain was so bad my eyes just stopped working properly. everything got all squiggly and bright, and i thought i was going to pass out.

i left the room to see if the nurse was there, mostly to ask if i could leave. i parked a hell of a ways away and want to get to my car before this gets agonizing.

two receptionist ladies are at the desk just outside.

"hey, do you happen to know where dr. \[blank\] went?"

"um, i think shes with another patient."

"okay, i was just wondering because she said she'd come back to talk to me more. is that true?"

"how should i know?"

fabulous. here come the tears now, because i'm starting to sweat from the pain and this woman is being rude to me for literally no reason, nevermind the fact that this is *still*, in fact, my first ever obgyn appointment and i *arrived* nervous as hell.

"okay, so... can i leave?"

"um, sure? it's up to you. you can wait if you want."

now i'm just confused.

a bright shining light turns the hallway corner and the kind nurse from earlier furrows her brow at me. "hey, are you okay?"

"yeah, um... is dr. \[blank\] coming back? she seemed to imply that she would."

"oh, i don't think so."

"okay. is there any chance i could get some ibuprofen?"

"of course! dr. \[blank\] will just have to approve that. maybe 30 minutes?"

***THIRTY MINUTES?*** hey. i get it. but there's no way in hell i'm waiting that long.

"oh, okay. I'm just going to go home."

"do you have a driver? you still don't look so good." she asks. *do i have a driver.* WHY WOULD I HAVE A DRIVER! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU PEOPLE WERE GONNA DO THIS TO ME!

"no, but i'll be alright." i say through gritted teeth. hopefully!

then came about 15 minutes of stumbling my way through this massive hospital complex, blood leaking through my panty liner and the most blinding, awful pain and cramps i have ever had the misfortune of feeling in my entire life. i had to stop and grab the wall a few times out of a genuine fear that i might pass out and hurt myself worse. i ascended the 2 flights of stairs to my car in the parking lot, entered my car, and screamed. it was misery. i genuinely have no idea how i safely drove back to my house, but i did. i finally got some ibuprofen in my system and about an hour later i felt decently fine. i am so lucky i didn't have any classes that day, otherwise i would have been toast.

anyway, holy shit that was bad. why on earth they would spring that on me so casually, i have no idea -- especially since the dr made a comment that my anatomy was apparently a little complex. plus why were the ladies at the desk so mean to me i swear to god i am doing my best gahhhhh people are just cruel for no reason.

i don't like to throw around the word "traumatic" lightly but i couldn't even wipe without tensing up for about a week after that, never mind dealing with the bleeding and all of that nonsense. it was truly not great.

moral of the story is convenience is great but advocating for yourself is also fabulous. be sure to do your research and don't just blindly say yes to things immediately just because your doctor pushes for it lollll

as a starter, please don't take this as me trying to convince people to not get an iud - everything ended up okay in the end, and my experience, as far as i'm aware, is pretty unusual.

also: tw for blood and reproductive health issues

i just wanted to share to get it off my chest and potentially commiserate with other people who have had poor iud insertion experiences that caused lingering anxiety and difficulties. this is just a rant about an extremely terrible experience, nothing more than that.

so a few weeks ago i (22f) had my first ever obgyn appointment with the intention of getting a pap smear and talking about some irregular periods. to start, i made very clear to my obgyn that i was quite nervous. i was interested in talking about other forms of birth control because the pill just really didn't work well for me and my obgyn seemed enthusiastic enough about it. i was NOT anticipating an iud insertion that same day, but she was all, "hey, if we're already in there for your pap, why don't we just throw one in?" i'm all for convenience and it was presented extremely casually, so i said sure.

next thing i know, i'm spread open. pap is over before i know it, a tiny cramp if that, maybe a 3/10 on the pain scale. she reaches for the iud and shows it to me -- "see? it's little! we just push these prongs into the uterus and you're set. she pushes it in. OUCH. 5/10 on the pain scale. she goes to clip the strings. accidentally rips it out. 6/10. grabs a new iud. tries to push it in. gets it finally. it expels. 6.5/10.

grabs a THIRD IUD. pushes it in. 7/10. i'm gritting my teeth and laughing and trying to be a good sport because it is what it is and i'd rather muscle through than ask for a break.

mind you, 20 minutes ago i had no idea i was getting one of these suckers put in. i have no pain meds and have had 1 iud ripped out of me accidentally, 1 expelled, and now one sitting inside of my uterus.

i sit up and the nurse and obgyn both look at my face (probably paler than a ghost) and tell me to lay back down. not one more word is exchanged between myself and my obgyn about the procedure, next steps, pain management, or anything else. she exits the room and says "i'll be right back" -- spoiler alert, she does not come back.

the nurse left to grab me some juice, and she stands outside the door while i drink it. i stand up when i'm done and look down.

there is blood STREAMING down my legs, and it's about to hit my socks. hell no.

i panic and run for the door but the nurse is nowhere to be seen. i start rummaging through drawers (probably illegal but i was desperate, i was not about to have blood between my toes) and finally find a tiny panty liner. that'll do, i think, and start wiping off my legs with one of those awful, stiff, brown paper towels by the sink. at this point, i'm still waiting for the obgyn to come back. it's been about 10 minutes so i start putting my clothes on.

now the pain hits.

and oh my god, i've never felt this intensity of pain before in my entire life. it was genuinely blinding, like the pain was so bad my eyes just stopped working properly. everything got all squiggly and bright, and i thought i was going to pass out. i left the room to see if the nurse was there, mostly to ask if i could leave. i parked a hell of a ways away and want to get to my car before this gets agonizing. two receptionist ladies are at the desk just outside.

"hey, do you happen to know where dr. [blank] went?"

"um, i think shes with another patient."

"okay, i was just wondering because she said she'd come back to talk to me more. is that true?"

"how should i know?"

fabulous. here come the tears now, because i'm starting to sweat from the pain and this woman is being rude to me for literally no reason. and why, why, why is she pretending like i'm crazy for being confused? the safety i initially felt is now gone, and i feel incredibly vulnerable.

"okay, so... can i leave?"

"um, sure? it's up to you. you can wait if you want."

and now i'm just confused.

the nurse from earlier turns the corner. "hey, are you okay?"

"yeah, um... is dr. [blank] coming back? she seemed to imply that she would."

"oh, i don't think so."

"okay. is there any chance i could get some ibuprofen?"

"of course! dr. [blank] will just have to approve that. maybe 30 minutes?"

THIRTY MINUTES? hey. i get it. but there's no way in hell i'm waiting that long.

"oh, okay. I'm just going to go home."

"do you have a driver? you still don't look so good." she asks. do i have a driver. WHY WOULD I HAVE A DRIVER! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU PEOPLE WERE GONNA DO THIS TO ME!

i told her no and that i would be alright on my own.

then came about 15 minutes of stumbling my way through this massive hospital complex, blood leaking through my panty liner and the most blinding, awful pain and cramps i have ever had the misfortune of feeling in my entire life. i had to stop and grab the wall a few times out of a genuine fear that i might pass out and hurt myself worse. i got passed by about a dozen nurses and doctors and not one asked if i was okay. i felt so unbelievably vulnerable and, actually, stupid. i felt stupid. and like i was being dramatic.

i ascended the 2 flights of stairs to my car in the parking lot, entered my car, and screamed. it was misery. i genuinely have no idea how i safely drove back to my house, but i did. i finally got some ibuprofen in my system and about an hour later i felt better but still not awesome. i am so lucky i didn't have any classes that day, otherwise i would have been toast.

anyway, holy shit that was bad. why on earth they would spring that on me so casually, i have no idea -- especially since the dr made a comment that my anatomy was apparently a little complex. plus why were the ladies at the desk so mean to me i swear to god i am doing my best gahhhhh people are just cruel for no reason.

i certainly don't like to throw around the word "traumatic" lightly and this isn't something i have talked about in therapy yet but i couldn't even wipe without crying (not due to physical pain, but as an emotional response) for about a week after that, i didn't let my partner touch me at all for several days, and never mind dealing with the bleeding and all of that nonsense while not being able to touch anything without tears. it was truly not great.

i think we as a society generally need to do better when it comes to women's care and reproductive health, but this served as a reminder to me that even the best female ogbyns (this dr came HIGHLY recommended to me by several women in my life) can make ill informed and potentially devastating choices about women's health, probably solely because there's not a lot of kindness given to women who have experienced traumatic/just unpleasant experiences with this kind of stuff. i dunno. rant over, i guess.

guys I'm so sorry to be a negative nancy but i need commiseration. please don't take this as a horror story like me trying to convince you to not get an iud - everything ended up okay in the end, and my experience, as far as i'm aware, is pretty unusual.

so a few weeks ago i (22f) had my first ever obgyn appointment with the intention of getting a pap smear and talking about some irregular periods. to start, i made very clear to my obgyn that i was quite nervous. i was interested in talking about other forms of birth control because the pill just really didn't work well for me and my obgyn seemed enthusiastic enough about it. i was NOT anticipating an iud insertion that same day, but she was all, "hey, if we're already in there for your pap, why don't we just throw one in?" i'm all for convenience and it was presented extremely casually, so i said sure.

next thing i know, i'm spread open where the sun don't shine. fine enough. not the most pleasant, but it is what it is. pap is over before i know it, a tiny cramp if that, maybe a 3/10 on the pain scale. she reaches for the iud and shows it to me -- "see? it's little! we just push these prongs into the uterus and you're set."

she pushes it in. OUCH. 5/10 on the pain scale.

she goes to clip the strings. accidentally rips it out. 6/10.

grabs a new iud. tries to push it in. gets it finally. it expels. 6.5/10.

grabs a THIRD IUD. pushes it in. 7/10. i'm gritting my teeth and laughing and being a good sport because it is what it is and i'd rather muscle through than ask for a break.

mind you, 20 minutes ago i had no idea i was getting one of these suckers put in. i have no pain meds and have had 1 iud ripped out of me accidentally, 1 expelled, and now one sitting inside of my uterus.

i sit up and the nurse and obgyn both look at my face (probably paler than a ghost) and tell me to lay back down. "you've been through a lot" they both say.

not one more word is exchanged between myself and my obgyn about the procedure, next steps, pain management, or anything else. she exits the room and says "i'll be right back" -- spoiler alert, she does not come back.

the nurse left to grab me some juice, and she stands outside the door while i drink it. i stand up when i'm done and look down.

there is blood STREAMING down my legs, and it's about to hit my socks. hell no.

i panic and run for the door but the nurse is nowhere to be seen. i start rummaging through drawers (probably illegal but i was desperate, i was not about to have blood between my toes) and finally find a tiny panty liner. that'll do, i think, and start wiping off my legs with one of those awful, stiff, brown paper towels by the sink.

at this point, i'm still waiting for the obgyn to come back. it's been about 10 minutes so i start putting my clothes on.

now the pain hits.

and oh my god, i've never felt this intensity of pain before in my entire life. obviously i've never given birth, had a kidney stone, or anything else that people deem to be the worst pain ever, but if this wasn't a 9/10 i fear i know nothing. it was genuinely blinding, like the pain was so bad my eyes just stopped working properly. everything got all squiggly and bright, and i thought i was going to pass out.

i left the room to see if the nurse was there, mostly to ask if i could leave. i parked a hell of a ways away and want to get to my car before this gets agonizing.

two receptionist ladies are at the desk just outside.

"hey, do you happen to know where dr. [blank] went?"

"um, i think shes with another patient."

"okay, i was just wondering because she said she'd come back to talk to me more. is that true?"

"how should i know?"

fabulous. here come the tears now, because i'm starting to sweat from the pain and this woman is being rude to me for literally no reason, nevermind the fact that this is still, in fact, my first ever obgyn appointment and i arrived nervous as hell.

"okay, so... can i leave?"

"um, sure? it's up to you. you can wait if you want."

now i'm just confused.

a bright shining light turns the hallway corner and the kind nurse from earlier furrows her brow at me. "hey, are you okay?"

"yeah, um... is dr. [blank] coming back? she seemed to imply that she would."

"oh, i don't think so."

"okay. is there any chance i could get some ibuprofen?"

"of course! dr. [blank] will just have to approve that. maybe 30 minutes?"

THIRTY MINUTES? hey. i get it. but there's no way in hell i'm waiting that long.

"oh, okay. I'm just going to go home."

"do you have a driver? you still don't look so good." she asks. do i have a driver. WHY WOULD I HAVE A DRIVER! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU PEOPLE WERE GONNA DO THIS TO ME!

"no, but i'll be alright." i say through gritted teeth. hopefully!

then came about 15 minutes of stumbling my way through this massive hospital complex, blood leaking through my panty liner and the most blinding, awful pain and cramps i have ever had the misfortune of feeling in my entire life. i had to stop and grab the wall a few times out of a genuine fear that i might pass out and hurt myself worse. i ascended the 2 flights of stairs to my car in the parking lot, entered my car, and screamed. it was misery. i genuinely have no idea how i safely drove back to my house, but i did. i finally got some ibuprofen in my system and about an hour later i felt decently fine. i am so lucky i didn't have any classes that day, otherwise i would have been toast.

anyway, holy shit that was bad. why on earth they would spring that on me so casually, i have no idea -- especially since the dr made a comment that my anatomy was apparently a little complex. plus why were the ladies at the desk so mean to me i swear to god i am doing my best gahhhhh people are just cruel for no reason.

i don't like to throw around the word "traumatic" lightly but i couldn't even wipe without tensing up for about a week after that, never mind dealing with the bleeding and all of that nonsense. it was truly not great.

moral of the story is convenience is great but advocating for yourself is also fabulous. be sure to do your research and don't just blindly say yes to things immediately just because your doctor pushes for it lollll

EDIT: okay, i hear you guys loud and clear haha. i just submitted a complaint with the patient relations team and am feeling a little nervous but overall empowered by it. i can't explain just how validating hearing that this was NOT normal is. i was treated really grossly and my main concern was with the patient care and discharge process -- procedures can be difficult and i did consent, but the fact that i was in severe distress and was told that leaving was fully up to me was crazy and is something i don't want anyone else to have to go through. the pain itself, sure. shit happens. but being expected to fly by the seat of my pants as a young, first time patient in the worst pain she's ever been in in her entire life? dude. anyway, thank you all so much again. love you guys<3

hi all,

i'm (22F) trying somewhat desperately to lose weight because i'm just sick of my clothes not fitting right and just generally not feeling good. i want to live a long and happy life, or at least try to, and my current lifestyle and... mass, so to speak, might not gel well with that. i've never been tiny but i've had a lot of really major life events happen recently that have caused me to gain quite a few extra pounds that i'm less comfortable with than my usual little pooch of protection. my question is: in the midst still of stress, depression, and anxiety: how do i actually stay on track and motivated?

when all i want to do is eat my feelings or lie on the couch for hours on end, how do i break the cycle? how did YOU break that cycle? i'm not interested in speculation or "eat less move more" - I know, dude, trust me, that's what i'm doing. i just hate it and want to hate it slightly less. i'm asking for practical, tangible tips from former fatasses who showed up for themselves and did the damn thing. does it get any easier? and how? i admire the crap out of all of you. if you would be so kind as to give me a hand, i'd be grateful as hell.

In this day in age I've seen it all. AI essays, emails written like texts, and other crazy developments in higher education. I'm also a recent BA grad myself. Feel free to ask away anything about the current state of higher ed and college admissions.