u/-motherpugger-

TL;DR: Are we scaring men off by making complaints like this? There must be another way…

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I’ll preface by saying this might be unpopular opinion, while acknowledging that I don’t think anyone is obligated to entertain unwanted advances and that there is a huge difference between respectful flirting and someone being obnoxious.

I can’t help but wonder what went down here… Like, would this woman be using the same tone if she found the person hitting on her attractive? (And yes, I’m aware that even an objectively attractive person can be objectively UNattractive due to their behavior.)

But I also think this is a reason well-meaning and interested men DON’T approach women at bars, Whole Foods, while walking by, etc. They’re afraid of being lambasted on Reddit. Like, are we conditioning men to believe the safest move is to never approach us at all?

And I know all some you are going to say, “THEY JUST SHOULDN’T BE CREEPY,” but I think all of our complaining (and I LOVE complaining), is working against us because we’re scaring these men. And then it’s the ones that don’t give AF or who possess ample self-confidence (or the truly creepy ones; I know they are prolific) who do approach, and they’re the marginalized few.

I don’t know what the solution is, but I also think we should be a little more mindful when we complain about men approaching us and then turn around and complain about men not approaching us.

Anyway, I just think there are other ways to make our point… I just don’t know what’s effective. We can complain on Reddit (acknowledging this post in itself harbors multiple complaints), or… what?

Like, I’m genuinely asking: How do we encourage interactions (respectful ones) without scaring people into never approaching at all?

Do we start leading by example? Or take to the streets? I ask this with a problem-solving lens… but also welcome comical ideas.

Saw these tempting cuties at the Foggy Bottom TJ’s (Washington, DC), but did not purchase due to the saturated fat stats. 💔

When will we be relieved of the coconut oil washing… The figurative kind—the literal can stay.

Unpopular opinion, but I did not care for the quadplex gelato tub with the Fior de Latte (and I LOVE pistachio everything), so I was skeptical about the minimalist pint… but I was pleasantly surprised!

It softened up a bit on my bike ride home, but I actually enjoyed it this way. It was smooth and delightfully nutty (like, actually pistachio nutty, not pistachio flavored) and not overly sweet. It’s actually on the lighter side, sweetness wise, with 20g sugar compared to other TJ’s ice creams like French vanilla (24g), coffee (27g), horchata (25g), and passion fruit sorbet (31g, which I’ll never understand why they’d do such a thing, but I digress…).

I wouldn’t say it’s my faaaaaavorite TJ’s product, but it’s quite good. I might be an overload snackimal and add some of the pistachio spread or crumbled Speculoos on top for my next serving. 🙃