u/03-22

hyper specific question that i cannot find a common consensus for. can you get mono from swallowing semen? no kissing, purely the semen of someone who has mono being swallowed

after 3 years of carrying the mental and physical pain of vaginismus, i have successfully had penetrative sex. i can't begin to express the relief i feel.

i want to impart three things that helped me personally:

1. i have inconsistently used dilators for ~2 years, but felt sad and defeated every time i tried them. dilators ultimately regressed my progress by worsening my negative feelings attached to penetration. i assumed because i could not conquer dilators, i could not conquer sex. i want to highlight this for everyone possibly experiencing similar disillusion from dilation.

2. when i broke up with my ex boyfriend, i assumed i would never find another man satisfied without penetration. to anyone else scared of attempting dating due to the pressure of sex- way more men than you realize are totally fine without penetration. the imagined need for PIV is mostly in your head; do not exclude yourself from the possibility of love and romantic connection. i had zero success with my ex boyfriend of 2.5 years who i loved and trusted immensely, but had easy painless sex with my boyfriend of 2 months. chalk it up to a lack of true sexual attraction to my ex boyfriend or the lack of pressure attached to the clean slate of my new boyfriend????

3. i additionally benefited from not announcing it beforehand. in previous attempts, i would say "let's try it" etc., verbally confirming i was about to attempt penetration. thinking about it and mentally preparing myself for it created terrible mental block which made penetration physically and mentally harder. i finally had success with penetration when it was naturally occurring, e.g. external contact gradually leading to unplanned penetration.

thank you to everyone who has contributed to this subreddit, you made me feel so much less alone.