Kitambo maisha ilikua inakupiga Hadi unanunua kadi ya Kenya charity sweepsstake . Hao wasee walikuwa kila mahali. Ulikua unaona mtu amenunua anapiga corner anawekelea maombi then ana gwaruza . After hapo unamuona amekasirika Tena.
What exactly qualifies a burial to be termed as decent? Like tukisema we're giving someone a decent send off, what is usually the other alternative? If a person were to be burried without any clothes on, would that burial qualify to be an indecent send off? Okay, maybe that would qualify, but what else? Turns out it's incredibly difficult to have an indecent burial.
Because whoever coined the term 'decent send off' left us with too many loopholes.
Down there in Luo Nyanza and Western Kenya, we just concluded that the decency of a send off would be based on how people ate at the burial ceremony...because technically the only person who can confirm if he/ she is happy with the burial is the dead one...everything else is speculation by people who are sad, butmost importantly, very hungry.
Mtu akikula vizuri na ashibe hadi apate toothpick kwa, they will go away praising that burial as one of a kind..
At my grandfather's burial Kuna jamaa alikosa chakula ama sijui alifukuzwa Kwa line ya food on accusation that his face had been seen in that queue too many times..He still reminds me todate that my grandfather was not burried the correct way ; that a man of his stature would not have stood for such an injustice on his last day. Even at my father's burial recently ,he reminded me..Just for context, my grandfather was burried in 2020.
Pesa ya hearse na coffin and maybe pending hospital bills ndio vitu tunafaa kusifu..hii ingine yote towards someone's decent send off is just to ensure that mourners leave with decent stomachs...Na mtu akitoka Kwa matanga na njaa anakuanga Na hasira ingine mbaya Sana. They will criticize everything from that burial including the shape of the grave and size of the preacher's head ( which in most cases is big).
If you knew how short life is, you would make better choices in life.
You will not spend an extra minute arguing with strangers online.
You will spend the next minute learning the best recipe for your best food.
You will not eat bad food. Even with that pumpkin, you will find a way to make it edible.
You will spend time with your family and friends who bring joy, warmth, and light to your life.
You will travel the world.
You will read only interesting books.
You will enjoy better sleep.
You will make love more. Quality love, too.
You will not hate.
You will never be envious.
You will not spend too much time thinking about a past you can’t change.
You will endeavor to be a better person.
You will endeavor to be a better friend, better father, mother, parent, sibling, child. You will be more intentional with those meetups.
You will keep your words.
You will be more honest.
You will hug your children more and tightly, and you will not let them go. Please love your children enviably, in a way nobody can ever love them.
You will let go of the old grudges.
You will forgive more.
You will extend grace more frequently.
You will switch off from social media more and enjoy some peace and calmness from all the noise, bedlam, and confusion.
You will only be in rooms where you are invited. You will stay away from negativity. You will stop being negative yourself.
You will gather friends more, for drinks, for food and merry, and more importantly, for laughter. You will enjoy those road trips. You will enjoy Madilu more. You will appreciate Sam Mangwana more.
You will pursue your purpose in life with some urgency, knowing every hour, every minute, every second counts.
If you are a believer, you will be drawn closer and closer to God.
Sometimes we are so distracted, we think we have all the time.
We don’t return the calls.
We turn down invitations when we don’t have a good reason.
Sometimes, that one meeting is the last one. That unreturned call is the last.
As you grow old, soon, you will understand how annoyingly finite life is. Soon, that conversation on mortality you like avoiding becomes an existential annoyance every time you wake up.
I still think we only die once, but we live every day. However sad you are, however unhappy, however bad you feel, whatever the cards life has dealt you, being alive is a rare privilege. Being alive with no illness and being out of the hospital is a gift that you will not fully realize until you lie in that hospital bed. As I write this, there is someone with tubes inserted into the body, and survival is 50/50.
Live your life such that if you die today, you will have the fewest regrets, and you will leave behind the best possible memories. Of love. Laughter. Merry. Grace. Vibes.
Here is to a happy August.
Take care of yourself, your body, mind, and soul. The world is not always a good place.
Here is to a great weekend.
Moments after Ruto won in 2022, a person familiar with his leadership style told me that there can only be one boss in the room and he doesn’t tolerate dissent and he must have his way.
Later I saw Babu Owino say that he even advises his advisors on how to advise him.
That he could render Joho completely irrelevant, totally forgotten two or so years into serving in his government says a lot about Ruto than it does about Joho(other than Joho being just as unprincipled as the next Kenyan politician.
I saw former Cabinet Minister of Treasury say that Ruto takes only his advice.
And the fact that some of the loudest voices like Ndii working for him can’t speak their mind, some of more brilliant folks from the past, and men we thought were big balls, can go completely silent is scary man.
Presently, only Rigathi, Methu, Sifuna and a few other MPs can speak their mind freely.
Scary dude, Bill is.
Moments after Ruto won in 2022, a person familiar with his leadership style told me that there can only be one boss in the room and he doesn’t tolerate dissent and he must have his way.
Later I saw Babu Owino say that he even advises his advisors on how to advise him.
That he could render Joho completely irrelevant, totally forgotten two or so years into serving in his government says a lot about Ruto than it does about Joho(other than Joho being just as unprincipled as the next Kenyan politician.
I saw former Cabinet Minister of Treasury say that Ruto takes only his advice.
And the fact that some of the loudest voices like Ndii working for him can’t speak their mind, some of more brilliant folks from the past, and men we thought were big balls, can go completely silent is scary man.
Presently, only Rigathi, Methu, Sifuna and a few other MPs can speak their mind freely.
Scary dude, Bill is.
December ya around 2022 there's this encounter sijaisahau.I requested a nduthi from Bolt. The usual ice breakers ensued.
“Uko wapi?”
“Niko Nation Centre. Ukifika hapa uone tent za white Niko hapo ndani.”
“Na unaenda wapi?”
“Naenda Milimani.”
“Oh, na hapo imekuambia ngapi?“
“130.”
“Nakuja. Nimevaa jacket ya black.”
“Mimi nimevaa shati ya white.”
After opening our hearts about how we were dressed, the man appeared. There are many nduthi guys I saw with black jackets. But I knew him when I saw him. After shuttling on nduthis for some time in this city, I can always tell when my nduthi guy is my nduthi guy or when my nduthi guy is not my nduthi guy.
We talked a bit. About Raila. I think it was Raila. With the wind you can't tell whether he is saying Raila or Ander Herrera. So you just get a talking point that is relevant to both Raila and Ander Herrera. For example you can say, “Hiyo mguu yake ni noma.” Because what are the chances that either of them has no legs? Nil!
And then, he told me, “enyewe kama umebaki Nairobi hii tarehe, wewe ni jobless.” The wind stopped when he said that. To make sure I heard him right. “Aitha huna kazi, ama kazi yako ni bure.”
He wasn't referring to me I prayed.
“Watu wenye wako na kazi hii Nairobi walienda makwao date 15.”
I asked him, “na Rigathi si bado ako huku?”
“Rigathi si jana alikua Nyeri?”
We arrived. I paid him extra to prove that niko Nairobi bado na niko na kazi. In Kikuyu we say, an arrow shot at night is returned the same way it came.😂
Back in uni, my friend from the lake started dating a girl also from the lake. One time, she temporarily moved in with us and took over the kitchen duties. We believed in women empowerment, which is why we let her do all the cooking. One day she made us omena and it was the best omena we had ever had. A ka small meeting was held to encourage my friend to marry this girl, but that was until we discovered she was deep frying omena using liters upon liters of oil.
Surely, we were never going to afford her cooking anymore, so we told her she had done enough and that as men identifying as serious feminists we were going to do all the cooking going forward. It was also time for her to see how we stretched a liter of cooking oil across one full academic year, in the name of Jesus, of course
In music videos, once your girl is fed up with you, she will simply say something nasty to you before storming out to a convertible being driven by a gym rat who probably has to confirm, after every thirty minutes, that he still has his six pack. The breakup is swift and you will have no doubts about how she feels about you.
In real life though, nothing is as straightforward. Doubt has to creep in, mostly from the random conversations she will be having with strange men. Everything will sound so coded, like she is trying to keep you in the dark by hiding in plain sight.
Say one evening she gives you her phone to say hi to her mother who tells you other than arthritis, she is doing okay. You say, "And this arthritis is becoming a pandemic. Kila mtu sahii analia but usijali, mum, you will get better in Jesus' name."
"Amen, my son."
After hanging up, you realize you really have no idea what arthritis is. You have always assumed you know what it is, what with it being so common, but you are not sure whether it affects your joints or lungs or brain. So you decide to Google using her phone, only for a WhatsApp message to pop up. It's from someone saved Fundi Mike, and is asking if the kettle is now okay.
First of all, you don’t like that he is asking about a kettle because kettle sounds so close like kitty, and why the hell would he be asking about her kitty? You also don’t like that she has saved him as Fundi Mike and not just as Fundi or Mike Fundi. Mike Fundi sounds professional and ethical. Fundi Mike alleges some level of familiarity you are uncomfortable with. And if he is really a fundi, and maybe he really fixed her kettle, and not kitty, why would he ask if it’s now okay? Kwani he didn’t find out after fixing it?
It all just don’t sound right, and you are tempted to open that message and read the whole thread but you don't. You give back her phone and go stare at the kettle in the kitchen.
You hold and turn it around. You even hold it high up to study it's base.
The next day, at breakfast, you will ask her, "Is something wrong with the kettle?"
"Which kettle?"
"The kettle."
"Was something wrong with it?"
"I don't know, that's why I am asking,” you will say, stabbing your fried eggs rather too aggressively with a fork, not believing that she is feigning ignorance about the supposedly faulty kettle she and Fundi Mike are keeping tabs on.
"Nothing is wrong with the kettle."
"Are you sure?"
She nods.
You want to ask, “Then why the fuck was ‘Fundi Mike’ asking if the kettle is NOW okay?' but you don't because you don't want her to know you read her message.
Later, you will Google, "What does it mean when someone asks your woman if the kettle is now okay?” Emphasis on the NOW