u/0day_no_soul_v2

The point is that i feel guilty for everything that happened during my entire life, i’m now 20, 20years old of regret, i just wish i can disappear with no trace as if i never existed or anything
For some reasons it’s always my fault, it’s always me that i am wrong no matter what i do and say, i don’t feel heard, i feel ignored and never prioritized.
I got cheated on and the thing that made me find out is me not being prioritized, lot of her friends have been prioritized over me
Not only my last rs but also my family, being the biggest child in an arab traditional family i had all the responsibilities on py shoulders, mine and my brothers’
I just hate the way i am always blamed for things i don’t do… what i hate more being blamed for things i made out of love or out of care, i feel like manipulated, used and taken profit of…
Even in my current rs i have been blamed for things i didn’t expect it’s going to be my fault too! Minding my gf holding another man’s hands even if he’s gay became my fault! Minding my gf’s talking about how awesome was sleeping with someone else became also my fault! Minding her flirting and teasing with someone and telling him some sexual stuff became my fault! At this point i don’t know what to expect…
I wish i succeeded at killing my self few years earlier… i wish i succeeded at killing my self this year… now that i care about sole people i don’t think i would do so but i wish i get the courage i had before… i just can’t handle my fam’s oppression which i can’t talk about and getting harmed but stuff like this… at this point i want to step out of everything which what i’m doing lately… and guess what? Having a cup of coffee all alone at some quiet cafés isn’t only peaceful but also consuming…

Urgent about louaget moncef bey

I’m using this subreddit to vent since i don’t think i can do so elsewhere

Looking for some specific brands