u/0r2c

i loved a a woman and without personal details i got to know her through a friend and we were into each other so much the chemistry the cultral difference wasnt that different the mindset ugh, perfect. her boundaries in general were so similar to mine.

and we got to know each other till a month a half we got together and everything was perfect her clingyness her beauty HER NATURAL BEAUTY (no makeup) UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, and genuinely i think i was one of the few men to experience this type of perfectionism and im glad i did, then a time came i cheated on her with a girl while her mom was struggling with big health issues and after that we broke up and she got rumors at school and prank calls for over months about and idk i genuinely regret it and after two weeks we got back tgth ofc we talked about it and i was fully aware of the consequences of lost trust, or not annoyingly checking but being so paranoid, the consequences of maybe not going to crowded places or cafes or being called a liar, i was aware and commited to deal with it cus i really wanted to redeem my mistake or show that i genuinely did a honest mistake and willing to change.

after multiple breakups bc of outside pressure like prank calls and saying i cant be with you and dealing with other women saying you have other girls, for a moment it stopped the rumors the prank calls, i remember i was immature when we broke up and thought it was unfair and sometimes i normally stalk her socials and only once i looked up at one of her friends but i didnt say anything it was on instagram and when the break up happened at the same day i was trying to fish if she is still jealous so at the same time i checked her acc again found a random girl she added read her bio or details and said it to her, at first it was just oh wtv he was fishing but then when everything was going perfect she said to her friends while i was in call that oh (my name) said to me to set him up with him i got mad like why arent you bringing context then it switched saying that how tf did you know details and all that and i was trying to i genuinely wanted to fully catch you off guard to be jealous and im sorry i was immature ultametly we broke up.

i hurt her so much and idk why i genuinely dont know why i dont wanna do that and there is more than what i said that i hurt her and i genuinely dont know i love myself im confident and a good man but i remember she said before we broke up you ruined everything and ruined me when i just wanted to love you

i think one of the reasons is that we started dating it was just too good to be true i couldnt fathom we were really serious and idk how i got trust issues but i do have scarred deep.. deep trust issues and always believed that its not gonna last and idk if thats the reason to cheating but i felt it wasnt real and too good to be true

if you got questions please ask and idk im saying all of this bc i got some friends to talk im just not comfortable enough to talk about it fully and like this is a unfiltered "talking to someone" talk

i loved a a woman and without personal details i got to know her through a friend and we were into each other so much the chemistry the cultral difference wasnt that different the mindset ugh, perfect. her boundaries in general were so similar to mine.

and we got to know each other till a month a half we got together and everything was perfect her clingyness her beauty HER NATURAL BEAUTY (no makeup) UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, and genuinely i think i was one of the few men to experience this type of perfectionism and im glad i did, then a time came i cheated on her with a girl while her mom was struggling with big health issues and after that we broke up and she got rumors at school and prank calls for over months about and idk i genuinely regret it and after two weeks we got back tgth ofc we talked about it and i was fully aware of the consequences of lost trust, or not annoyingly checking but being so paranoid, the consequences of maybe not going to crowded places or cafes or being called a liar, i was aware and commited to deal with it cus i really wanted to redeem my mistake or show that i genuinely did a honest mistake and willing to change.

after multiple breakups bc of outside pressure like prank calls and saying i cant be with you and dealing with other women saying you have other girls, for a moment it stopped the rumors the prank calls, i remember i was immature when we broke up and thought it was unfair and sometimes i normally stalk her socials and only once i looked up at one of her friends but i didnt say anything it was on instagram and when the break up happened at the same day i was trying to fish if she is still jealous so at the same time i checked her acc again found a random girl she added read her bio or details and said it to her, at first it was just oh wtv he was fishing but then when everything was going perfect she said to her friends while i was in call that oh (my name) said to me to set him up with him i got mad like why arent you bringing context then it switched saying that how tf did you know details and all that and i was trying to i genuinely wanted to fully catch you off guard to be jealous and im sorry i was immature ultametly we broke up.

i hurt her so much and idk why i genuinely dont know why i dont wanna do that and there is more than what i said that i hurt her and i genuinely dont know i love myself im confident and a good man but i remember she said before we broke up you ruined everything and ruined me when i just wanted to love you

i think one of the reasons is that we started dating it was just too good to be true i couldnt fathom we were really serious and idk how i got trust issues but i do have scarred deep.. deep trust issues and always believed that its not gonna last and idk if thats the reason to cheating but i felt it wasnt real and too good to be true

if you got questions please ask and idk im saying all of this bc i got some friends to talk im just not comfortable enough to talk about it fully and like this is a unfiltered "talking to someone" talk