u/10TrillionQubits

Fellow Buffalo suburbanites from Orleans, Elmira, Gasport, and everyone north of Ithaca. For the first time in my life I ventured west of transit road into the city limits of Buffalo. My bitch wife wanted to go see some pansy play at sheas, FORCING me to come alone. Naturally I sought out a nearby bar to get hammered.

That’s when I stumbled across these mysterious strangers. I had never seen a room with more shadowy cabal faces. Exchanging secret handshakes and phrases. As I drank my Irish car bomb, looking across the brightly colored room, I wondered how these sinister people will achieve their wicked plot. It was at that moment I of all people WHO AM VERY STRAIGHT was approached and attempted to be indoctrinated. I had absolutely zero, NONE interest in the slender effeminate build of the 23 year old man with perfectly fluffy, blonde hair and stunningly blue eyes. I knew for an absolute fact I would never join this terrible plot.

After driving home and staying up thinking about it for 9 hours, I am certain I will never be one. I’ve completely stopped obsessing about it.

I think universally throughout the city everyone hates the Buffalo council. But I’m curious why so many of them have been keeping their seat for years. Is it difficult for people to actually campaign against them? In fairness the job pays like 30k a year, which is probably a pay cut for half of people.

Why don’t more people run for office?

Fellow Buffaloians and vast far away landers from the salt mine of Lancaster, the stadium of Orchard Park, and Aristocrats of Amherst, please lend me your ears!

There are bicycles dangerously riding around at miles nearing almost 25 MPH, a speed only seen on residential streets with speed-bumps. A speed that is supposedly enforced on the expressway.

This speed is FAR TOO DANGEROUS. I am requesting that we enact twenty more laws by the end of this year that tell us how to ride a bicycle. In matter of fact if you have a wheel barrel in your shed you should be required to have a license because it has a WHEEL.

The police of our towns are far too idle and underwhelmed, this regulation is needed NOW!

As we all know the pothole bandit regularly participates in public work tampering of the 1st degree. This crooked town doesn’t have the gull to stand up to them and now they have secured a seat of virtual power on this subreddit.

I for one am requesting a public listening session be hosted on this matter on a Tuesday from 10 - 12:30 PM outside of Just Pizza in the parking lot on elmwood. The location is symbolic and JUST-ice must be upheld with long rambling comments, such as “I’m ok with the pot hole bandits works, I wish he would just not do it so close to my neighborhood. Also what if my child saw him filling holes in daylight.”

I believe in freedom in America. Which is why we should have the freedom to elect our subreddit mods.

Hey guys I regularly have to work downtown to oversee Niagara square. I regularly park in my personal parking spot (there’s no parking that doesn’t require my piggly legs to walk less than 500 feet). It’s one of my favorite spots to munch on doughnuts while putting the radical Buffalo liberals on blast (dangerous terrorist cells like Flow Jam in Hoyt Park).

Annoyingly bikers have been trying to take motorist spaces lately. When will this aggression stop?

You were on 120.5 MHz, deep voice. You said 5-0 departing Buffalo airport at one o’clock, right turn two seven forty. I was wearing a stained shirt, mismatching socks.

I just wanted to say you’re beautiful and I love you. I hope I can hear you again when I return.

I never thought buffalo would vote unapologetically for a socialist candidate. It feels like the demographic for the city has turned more left. Every week I meet more expats from California or Colorado. Was buffalo’s 149 district like this since 2015?

It barely even rained today

Serious posting only or sarcastic posting? Am I allowed to use my silly voice or is this more I-am-Exiled-Buffalo-Reddit?