u/10daymormon

I came in after Sunday school today. He brought me into his office over what he thought was me accepting my calling, I told him It would be like me stealing someone else’s calling because I don’t have a testimony.

I told him I wanted to resign and he asked why (Whenever I’m in a stressful situation I avoid eye contact)
And I told him why. I mentioned the license plate readings at gay bars in Utah to identify any BYU students and the 1992 talk discouraging interracial marriage because I myself am biracial. At the end he just said wow and he told me to look at him because I was looking down a lot.

I didn’t do so because I was texting my mom wondering when I’d come out to the car then he get annoyed and told me I haven’t looked at him once.

I did and he started pointing out inconsistencies in my story. I told him I didn’t believe in God because why would God help me get into my dream school but not helping the people being slaughtered in Gaza or children with bone cancer.

He told me I came in mad at Church history and if I’m admitting to not having a testimony how can anything Im saying about church history be valid. (Insinuating I’m an anti-Mormon)

I told him that Im obviously not here to debate him. I didn’t wanna share my reason in the first place for leaving but he told me he couldn’t send in my resignation without stating a reason and so I didn’t have a perfect thesis. I just told him that it’s how real people talk, you remember some parts later on and then add them.

I wrote my letter in front of him because I didn’t want to go home and do it because I never wanna step into church again. I stupidly said this out loud, and he said I’ve clearly been hurt by a member of the Church if I don’t wanna come in again. He asked me who hurt me and I told him no one but he kept insisting it had to be someone because when we’d spoken before he said he felt like I was amazing friends with everyone.

I’m sorry this is long but that’s what happened. It was really humiliating for me. I got greeted by a bunch of members on my way out and I think he texted the missionaries in the mean time because I wanted to say bye to one of the elders Im very close with and he ignored me and refused to shake my hand even though we’d been on amazing terms earlier and he was the one who baptized me. The other one did the same thing.

I’m going tomorrow, I’ll tell him them and I’m genuinely so scared I might throw up I’ve tried emailing them but it doesn’t work (they’ve ghosted me) and notarizing a letter costs money and I’m broke asf and 16.

Honestly please just wish me good luck and advice on of there’s anything I should keep in mind or know. I’m about to be so insanely alone and with no community after this.