u/11x1192

i must preface this by saying im not spiritual, im not religious, i'm not superstitious, i don't believe in ghost stories or psychic miracles. i'm an atheist or maybe agnostic and i've lived my whole life with that mindset. i'm sure a lot of people say that before spewing bullshit but i wish i was kidding. i genuinely don't know what just happened to me and im scared of even putting this down in writing.

about 5-10 minutes ago i was trying to fall asleep and i reached this state where im just drifting, not really awake but not really sleeping when all of a sudden i felt like i was being watched and my heart sank. the feeling of being watched by one major entity and multiple smaller entities was so unbelievably scary but real, like it was always happening without my knowledge and i've simply just now gained awareness of it or put a name to it.

after that things happened so fast. right after realizing i was being watched i started to question "who" or "what" is watching me and it was like i was screaming and pleading in my head to know. i felt like i gained a second layer of consciousness and my mind was laser focused, even though it was chaos in my brain my will to know who's watching me was so strong that i found out who it was. i remember vaguely seeing one big face/entity and smaller eyes surrounding it. it felt like i didn't exist in reality or actually that ive finally understood my reality. then the really horrifying part happened. my consciousness was being literally pulled away somewhere else. i don't know if it was my mind and body detaching or smth but it was such and intense feeling and the only thing i could describe it as is like a magnet.

my body wasn't necessarily heavy but i couldn't move a single muscle. my palms were sweaty and so were my feet. my mind was being magnetically taken somewhere else. that's the part that really confused. a part of me was thinking that i should let my consciousness be taken so i can finally get the answers i want and leave this false reality i've been living in. but another part of me was extremely unnerved. where am i being taken and what will happen to me? why can't i move my body. my heart was beating so ungodly fast and my ears weren't ringing but i can only describe it was like white noise. i decided that im not letting whatever the hell is happening to me continue cause the pulling was getting so strong i felt like any second and everything would be gone. i put everything in me and i lifted my finger/palm (i was lying flat on my stomach with my palms flat on the mattress as well) and was able to stop the magnet for a second and escape, but the second i put my hand my back down on the mattress it continued and this time moving felt even harder. i tried getting my voice out and groaning and i could barely hear my voice. like i only heard it in my head and that scared me so much that i forced myself physically up on all fours and finally got out.

it's been 15 minutes since then and my heart rates better, im still sweating, and i sure as hell can't go back to bed. i've tried rationalizing. i was thinking maybe this was an episode of sleep paralysis. i have heard of people not being able to move. but i simply can't believe that's what just happened. my family is very religious, they would probabaly tell me to go pray lol. i don't know who to talk to but im so scared i cant even get out of bed or fall black asleep.

need a romance book to get me out of my slump!

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