u/1837001030

I've been seeing my current therapist since February, and we started EMDR to work through childhood trauma and more recent SA trauma.

We spent a lot of time on resources and also recognizing my emotions/connecting with my body before jumping into EMDR, as I used to disassociate a lot.

We've done three EMDR sessions now. The first one was difficult, I felt kinda anxious for a day or two after. The second was a bit more intense, felt kinda sad and irritable for a few days after. My therapist said this is a normal reaction, to view it as progress, that my brain is still just working through the trauma.

The last session (last Tuesday) was really emotionally intense for me. Brought up some memories I've never spoken about, a lot of feelings I didn't even realize I felt. Immediately after the session I cried and felt really drained.

A week later, I still feel depressed. I'm also stressed about my job. But I still feel myself get choked up/want to cry multiple times throughout the day. I've had more hopeless feelings, and more self doubt than usual. And I don't have the energy or motivation to do anything more than what is necessary.

Unfortunately I won't have therapy for another two weeks. My therapist is on vacation right now, and then I go on vacation next week.

Is it normal to feel this depressed after a session? Is there anything I can do in the meantime? I'm hoping my vacation will help me reset, but part of me is afraid I won't be able to enjoy it because right now I can't even feel excited.

I've been on testosterone for over 8 years, had nexplanon implant for 5ish years.

I haven't had a full blown period since before I started T. And last time I had any bleeding was over a year ago when I had accidentally skipped a shot.

I have been having random cramps on and off for months. Today it started while driving to work. I started having stabbing cramps and it's continued to alternate between a dull ache and sharp pain for the past few hours. I unfortunately don't have advil with me today.

I also frequently have cramps after orgasm, with or without penetration. An hour or so after sex or masturbation I'll have severe cramps. Recently it was so bad I considered going to the ER, but thankfully advil and a heating pad helped. I brought this up over a year ago to my endo, but he said it's somewhat common for ftm ppl to have pain after sex, and if it continues to see a gyno.

I have an appointment to meet with a gyno for the first time in August. That was the soonest I could get and idk if she even has experience with transmen.

Is this an atrophy thing? I could understand if it was just after sex etc, but the random stabbing cramps midday are more worrying to me.

Has anyone else had this? If so, is there anything you've done to stop/lessen the pain?

I'm hoping to get a hysto at some point but no idea when I'll be able to, and I don't want to be in severe pain multiple times a month/every time I have sex until then.