u/1ns4n1tyyy

Hello, i'll keep this short and snappy.

I (20 F) have a sister who is (14 F). We were incredibly close until she began dating a guy who i previously dated (17 m). The relationship seemed okay at first, he was 16 when they begun dating and I had no concerns as the rule was nothing sexual involved until she turns 16. I was never okay with the relationship entirely but chose to be supportive as she seemed really head over heels for this guy.

I figured after a month or two he would become bored and leave her, letting her move on and if she wished, date guys her own age or a year older. My main concerns are, she turns 15 in july, he turns 18 this year. She has explained he's emotionally manipulative, threatens certain things when they have or have tried to break up. In the past few months began throwing things, name-calling and being a dirtbag.

I eventually tried intervening and stopping the relationship for good. We live with different parents. She has cut me off and lied to me about not seeing him. I'm not completely oblivious to relationships like this as such as i dated a guy for 2 years who was very similar (actually good friends with her partner), if not much much worse.

I'm scared it's going to keep escalating and I don't know what to do. I'm angry at her for cutting me off, though I know how and why that's probably happened. I'm extremely angry i have to sit and let it run it's course. I just don't know what to do, she lies to me, ignores me and will not see me under any circumstances. Any advice? Am I overreacting?

What should I do?

I started my relationship with my partner (20 m) 10 months ago. Things were pretty rough when we started dating. I'd freshly gotten out of a relationship with a guy for 2 years. Things ended rough and the entire relationship wasn't exactly healthy. My goal was to spend the summer doing things that made me happy, relearning how to live on my own and breaking old habits.

We had broken up approximately a week before I was spending 2 weeks in Spain. On my trip, I was still messaging and staying in contact with this guy and it was mainly casual. He was expressing he missed me and still loved me.

My now current boyfriend messaged me about a week into my holiday asking if he were still dating. I said no and he explained that he had been seeing a girl I didn't know very well behind my back, flirting and lots of kissing. I wasn't angry at the time as we were no longer together, turns out it was ongoing for an entire month of our relationship.

Back to the point, my current boyfriend and me had never really spoken before that as he was my ex's friend and my ex believed I "fancied all of his friends". I now understand why he adopted that insecurity.

By the last night of my holiday, I was in a bad place. I called my current boyfriend and he consoled me until early morning. We ended up getting together. I went to see him when I got to the uk and for the first few months ran smoothly considering how rushed it was.

About 4 months in, I couldn't keep my ex off my mind. I missed him and became overly jealous and resented him and his new relationship. We ended up getting back into contact again and hooked up a couple times. I am incredibly ashamed of this.

We broke contact and came back to eachother many times all behind my boyfriend's back. I ended up moving 100 miles away and he even came to see me for a quick hookup. Then he cut me off as I explained I couldn't do it anymore, I needed to tell my current boyfriend the truth and make things right.

Me and my current boyfriend broke up before Christmas last year for a while after I told him about everything. It was a difficult christmas to say the least. I ended up moving back to where I previously was and we had arranged going to a new years party together. He decided to still show up to "leave things on a positive note".

In the meantime, we kept to minimal contact and stayed on an acquaintance basis. A couple days before the party, he asked if I wanted to take things slow, rebuild trust and try again as he wasn't ready to lose us. I said yes as long as he respects himself and if I do anything over the line he leaves me for good.

We've been together ever since and things have improved massively. We've both been incredibly open and seem way happier than we were before.

I'm not proud of my actions. I shouldn't have rushed into something I wasn't ready for, let the feelings for my ex intervene in the relationship and been unfaithful. I should've healed first. I've learnt not to resent myself but be thankful for what I have, how I've grown and how I can continue to grow.

Thank you for reading .