u/2-regular

TLDR: my friendships have changed since I started dating my boyfriend a year ago.

I’ve (25F) been dating my boyfriend (30M) for a year and since being with him my friendships have changed.

I’ve always been an extrovert with a large circle and a lot of close friends. My relationship has been pretty rocky and there have been some extreme highs and lows. It takes a lot of my energy, especially when we’re in spells of conflict.

I haven’t been a very present friend as a result and there are a thousand reasons why but it all boils down to the fact that I really struggled to find balance. I miss my friends a lot and I want my relationships back. I feel a lot of guilt and confusion about this.

I know I shouldn’t feel so sorry for myself and I don’t. I just feel really alone and I don’t know where to start or how to navigate any of this.

PS: these are female to female friendships. I just miss my girls 😭

TL;DR:
My boyfriend said “I get horny looking at other girls” then the next day, I came across porn in his search history.

I want to preface by saying boyfriend is incredibly loyal and hasn’t ever really made me feel jealousy in our relationship. With that being said, he doesn’t compliment me about my physical attributes very often, we haven’t been having sex much over the past few months (once every two months over the last 6-8 months?) and in general we’ve been in a lot of conflict.

I don’t feel super attractive in the relationship but I do know he loves me. While in conflict, he said that he gets horny looking at other women. Objectively, saying that you find other people attractive in a relationship is okay but saying you get horny looking at them felt a bit too far. The following day, I found that he had been watching porn as well.

On a regular day, these things wouldn’t bother me a ton but everything in conjunction made me pretty upset. I already don’t feel attractive in the relationship, I don’t feel sought after, I have to beg for him to compliment me even when I give him opportunities to, we aren’t having sex even if I initiate, and then both of these things happening.

I can’t tell if I’m having a bigger reaction than I need to or if this is a normal response to something like this? How would you feel if this happened to you?

I feel like as I’ve gotten older, my vag smells by the end of the day and I don’t know why? When I was younger (maybe 20 and prior), it never smelt, ever. 20 onwards, I find that it starts to smell within hours of showering. If I’m wearing a thong, the smell is especially prominent.

I don’t use scented products down there, I shower daily, I wear mostly cotton underwear. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong??