u/205_anne

I’m starting to go out with this guy, and he knows I’m not experienced at all, like he was literally my first kiss. But he definitely seems way more experienced than me.

I just keep wondering what guys think when they’re with a girl who’s way less experienced than them. Like what goes through their head? What do they think about it? What do they like about it or fantasize about?

I’m curious what the psychology behind it is from a guy’s perspective.

I’ve been talking to this guy for a little bit (2 actual dates, but we’ve seen each other a couple other times as well). At first, on paper, he seemed fine. I even thought he was cute initially. But as I’ve gotten to know him more, the chemistry has felt inconsistent. There are moments where I feel a bit more comfortable and maybe a slight increase in connection, but overall it still feels unclear and not naturally strong for me.

One thing that bothered me early on is that he barely complimented me at all, which confused me because he clearly seems physically attracted to me. He stares at me, checks me out, and consistently asks to see me again, so the interest is there in other ways.

At one point I brought it up jokingly and said I had seen him multiple times but never heard a compliment from him. He responded with why would I compliment you, you have to earn it. That honestly turned me off. After that conversation he did start giving compliments like my eyes and hair, but it still felt a bit forced or transactional, like it only happened because I asked for it rather than it coming naturally.

What also confuses me is that he seems very interested in continuing things. Every time we see each other he asks when am I seeing you again, or he texts me to set up the next time. He also told me I am really easy to talk to, but I feel the opposite. I’m a good conversationalist so for me, conversation with him often feels like I’m carrying the flow of it and I cannot tell if I am just good at keeping things going or if he genuinely experiences it differently than I do.

The bigger issue is that I know the next time we see each other there will probably be a kiss, and I have actual anxiety about it. My last romantic experience ended badly, and ever since then I have been very in my head about kissing and intimacy in general. I overthink it, I freeze, and I cannot tell if I am supposed to initiate, how it is supposed to happen, or whether I even want it in the moment.

There was already one moment alone in his car where a kiss could have happened if I insinuated it, but instead of feeling drawn into it, I felt anxious and shut down.

Now I genuinely cannot tell what is going on anymore. Part of me wonders if I am just overthinking everything because of my past experience, but another part of me feels like my body is reacting to something I cannot fully explain yet. The closer things get to becoming physically romantic, the more I seem to get in my head instead of naturally feeling excited.

What makes it even more confusing is that with the two people I kissed before him, even in the awkward situation, I remember feeling a very clear sense of chemistry right before it happened. That feeling is what led me to kissing them in the first place. With him, I do not feel that same pull or anticipation in the same way, and I cannot tell if that means he is just not good at building that kind of spark or if it simply is not there for me.

I’m genuinely lost in what I’m supposed to feel/do/think…?

I (20F) just started seeing this guy (23M), and I’m confused about whether I’m overthinking things or not. We met when he asked for my contact info at a bar, and since then we’ve seen each other 2 more times. The second time was definitely more date-like, the third was kind of just hanging out casually, and now he planned another date planned in two days.

What’s confusing me is that he is proactive. He’s always the one initiating plans, asking when we’re gonna see each other again, following through, etc. So it’s not like he’s distant or inconsistent.

But at the same time, our conversations don’t really excite me? And I don’t know if he feels the same way. Especially over text, but even sometimes in person, I feel like I’m putting effort into keeping the conversation going or trying to create momentum. It’s not bad exactly but it just doesn’t feel effortless or super engaging. We haven’t even kissed yet btw.

Now I can’t tell if this is just normal because we barely know each other yet, or if I’m trying to convince myself to keep talking to him mainly because he’s showing interest and putting in effort. I also don’t want to lead him on if deep down I’m not really feeling it enough. Should I just wait it out?

I’ve gotten so used to wearing strip lashes every day that I honestly feel like I can’t go without them anymore. I take them off every night and I don’t put them directly on my natural lashes (so thankfully my real lashes are actually doing really well), but still… the difference is very noticeable.

Lately, especially with dating, I’ve realized something that’s been bothering me. When guys see pictures of me without lashes, they’ll say I look “different.” And not in a good way, more like they seem less excited or interested. That really gets to me because that’s what I actually look like.

It’s made me pretty insecure. My natural lashes just aren’t as long or dramatic, and I have small, round eyes that look even smaller when I smile. The lashes (whether shorter or longer styles) really help elongate my eyes and bring attention to them, especially since people compliment my eyes a lot with lashes on.

I catch myself thinking back to times when a guy liked me without them, and it feels so reassuring like he actually liked my face as it is. And now I feel like I’ve kind of lost that confidence.

The thing is, lashes are such a staple in my routine now. Sometimes they’re literally the only thing I wear and I feel amazing with them. Without them, unless I’m super well-rested (which is rare), I just don’t look my best.

I don’t think I’m ugly at all, but I do feel like lashes completely elevate my look, and I’ve become dependent on that. And my entire family tells me that as well.

Has anyone else been able to find a solution to this? It’s really impacting my own outlook on my looks.