u/4ahsirp

It's been more than a year of being friends and 5 months since we came into a relationship. It's our long distance relationship as he is from another state.

I had my rules clear from the start that I will marry as per my parents and i do take their suggestions on choosing a life partner seriously.

We started dating and he said he is okay with my parents involvement in it and he knows what my parents might choose on the basis of so we are waiting as he is working on improving it.

But he has brought up the issue of no surity in our relationship a lot many times as it hurts him as it's not sure if they will choose him or not even if he works on improving since there are some things he can't change at all.

I get the issue he is facing and I do sympathize a lot but I do depend on parents for choosing as I have made wrong decision in past as well so my mother guides me well and I never doubt she will choose someone wrong for me. I ain't mature enough to make right life partner choice.

Recently, I am dwelling a lot deeper into guilt of behaving this way with him. This guy is ready to move to my state to be with me, leave his parents for me, work and earn more for me , gifts me and even takes flight to meet me. He is the guy I guess girls do desire of. I do love him but feels like he doesn't deserve a girl like me . This guys deserves so much more and he needs a girl who can give him surity and love him fully and say she will choose him no matter what.

I am fucking idiot who depends on parents and i can't give this guy any surity at all. I feel so much guilty for doing this with him yet i won't change my decision as I know my mom choose a wrong guy as my life partner. And mind it her requirements are bare minimum.

I think of leaving him so that he can find a perfect girl where he can be happy. Yet I don't as I see soo much love he has for me in his eyes and says he can't live without me. It hurts soo badly to hurt him. I can't and won't change my ways . So i think of leaving him so that he might be happy with someone else.

What should I do ?

It's been more than a year of being friends and 5 months since we came into a relationship. It's our long distance relationship as he is from another state.

I had my rules clear from the start that I will marry as per my parents and i do take their suggestions on choosing a life partner seriously.

We started dating and he said he is okay with my parents involvement in it and he knows what my parents might choose on the basis of so we are waiting as he is working on improving it.

But he has brought up the issue of no surity in our relationship a lot many times as it hurts him as it's not sure if they will choose him or not even if he works on improving since there are some things he can't change at all.

I get the issue he is facing and I do sympathize a lot but I do depend on parents for choosing as I have made wrong decision in past as well so my mother guides me well and I never doubt she will choose someone wrong for me. I ain't mature enough to make right life partner choice.

Recently, I am dwelling a lot deeper into guilt of behaving this way with him. This guy is ready to move to my state to be with me, leave his parents for me, work and earn more for me , gifts me and even takes flight to meet me. He is the guy I guess girls do desire of. I do love him but feels like he doesn't deserve a girl like me .

This guys deserves so much more and he needs a girl who can give him surity and love him fully and say she will choose him no matter what.

I am fucking idiot who depends on parents and i can't give this guy any surity at all. I feel so much guilty for doing this with him yet i won't change my decision as I know my mom choose a wrong guy as my life partner. And mind it her requirements are bare minimum.

I think of leaving him so that he can find a perfect girl where he can be happy. Yet I don't as I see soo much love he has for me in his eyes and says he can't live without me. It hurts soo badly to hurt him. I can't and won't change my ways . So i think of leaving him so that he might be happy with someone else.

What should I do ?

Tl;dr

It's my second internal going on. And each and every internal is going same....failing miserably.

I havent been scoring so bad so far. I am able to manage physio biochem tho failed and even passed anatomy thrice.

But reality is for biochem and physio all I did was chat gpt so have no retention of what so ever i learnt. I am giving exams by studying one day before exam only.

But this internals I did one day before but mixed everything and blanked out in exam as I couldn't even remember what I learnt . I have studied topics but can't recall .

Since time i came into mbbs I haven't studied physio and biochem properly or I can say I haven't touched it. Even in anat I have backlog now.

I am soo stuck that I don't even know where to start from . Syllabus is huge and i have my pu in two months and profs just after it.

I am planning to watch yt for important topics and make notes or just highlight book and revise.

Help me out please ..any suggestion would help.