u/4littlesquishes

TW: traumatic death

My mom had been dealing with stage 4 colon cancer for 2 years. She had gotten to the point of being bed bound and needing help with all care. However she hadn't been admitted to hospice yet. She was still in a hospital. We found out yesterday she had mets to her spine and she decided she wanted radiation treatment to slow any more progessiin there. She was sleeping more but was coherent and seemed fine over all.

I was with her around 730 last night and thought everything was fine. We brought her some food that she ate, we talked abd visited. I got a call at 930 that she was experiencing significantly more pain and they had to administer extra pain killers and eventually a sedative as she was still hollering in pain. Once the sedative was administered she was completely unresponsive. They told me death was imminent. I rushed to the hospital only to receive a call on my way there, that she was gone. When I got there the nurse told me she ran to call me that we needed to get there, and then she went back to my mom and she had passed.

Im not sure why the nurse felt the need to elaborate on the fact that she was in so much pain she was yelling for help, the man (another patient) in the room with her was also calling for help on her behalf. Even after pain meds, the nurse told her if its not better in 20 mins let her know and we will give more and she continued to moan in pain, which is when she administered the 2nd pain killer and sedative. She was not in a good way. My mom is not one to complain if shes hurting so this must have been significant. The nurse did says she was calm when she passed which isn't helping me because all I can think about is how distraught she would have been before becoming unconsious. Her last moments were her screaming in pain alone... i also feel absolutely awful for the man sharing a room with her. I cannot imagine the sounds ingrained in his brain.

I dont know how to cope with this...

My mom (64) has stage 4 colon cancer with metastasis to liver and brain.

We were told in June they have no more treatment options. Shes been on hospice for a few weeks. She declined a fair bit when her radiology oncologist told her to wean off the dexamthasone, but will all her meds back in order shes doing better.

I feel like I am just waiting for the call that shes doing worse again. Or that something has happened. (Shes fallen a couple of times).

Its inevitable that something else will come up, but when. She just got a med kit delivered for her meds to be given subq when she needs. When will she start needing it?

I hate not having answers and an unclear picture of whats happening.. just waiting for something bad to happen... again...

We were out fishing yesterday and it was really deep water and my brain couldnt figure out what to do. I tried lures and bobbers with longer leaders. But nothing was working, we couldnt get anything deep enough without getting weeds.

It wasnt until someone suggested using a drop shot, that we started catching fish after fish after fish. They were all small , mostly perch, but we were just fishing for fun and I have small kids so it was a blast, but that was after 2 or more hours of nothing.

So please offer advice to families or anyone you see fishing! It will be appreciated!

I am currently caring for my mom who has stage 4 cancer. She is not doing well. Her friend she lives with just had a total knee replacement. We were hoping that the hospital would keep the friend overnight so we didnt have to worry about her tonight. She is refusing to go to her son's place.

I need to get home as I have small children at home. I cannot stay here to care for them both. My mom has nurses who come and psws and such but not everyday and not for a lengthy time. When i am here I do everything for her, cook, clean, get her meds. When i am not here, shes calling me to ask when her meds are due and so on.

Her friend now being absolutely no help and, if anything, will be dependant on my mom, which doesnt work.

I am trying to figure out what options I have to get them more help? Has anyone gone through anything like this ?

I have no idea what to do and I feel so stuck...

I was wondering if there are any resources to help carers take care of their family member? Techniques or tools for moving them, dressing them, bathing them.

Background

Yesterday and today I've been caring for my mom with end stage colon cancer that has metastisized everywhere. Shes been needing a lot of help getting in and out of bed and getting dressed and so on. I would love to be able to help her more easily. I am just starting on this journey and struggle with certain aspects just because I dont know the best way to do something. The thing i struggle the most with is when shes laying in bed and needs to scootch either side to side or up higher in the bed. Shes very weak so struggles to do it on her own but I dont know how to help her with these movements without hurting her or myself.

I feel like i need to take a psw course just to care for her.

I know we cant know exactly what will happen as cancer progresses, but id like to read experiences so I have an idea of what to expect even if it isnt what ends up happening.

My mom is on in home palliative hospice care. She has stage 4 cecal cancer, adenocarcinoma with neuroendocrine differentiation with BRAF mutation, that has spread to her liver lungs and brain. She had radiation to her brain and abdomen to try to give her a little more time. We were told it should pause the progression for a couple of months and then it would be a progressive decline. Between the type of cancer and the mutation its a very aggressive cancer. She has been doing remarkably well considering.

Shes just started to taper off the dexamethasone shes been on to help brain swelling She had due to the tumors as well as from the radiation. She has been much more tired and some days just sleeps. From my research it could be from weaning off the dex and/or the cancer in general. I assume the dex is the cause of her doing so well, but the doctors want her off of it.

So now what? Shes started sleeping more and I assume this will keep increasing until most of her times shes spent asleep.

What else can we expect? What was the timing like for your loved one once put on hospice?

Any guidance is welcomed.

Hi everyone!

We recently decided to start buying gold and are getting our kids into it also. Weve recently had family start giving money to our kids and telling them to save half of it. So we decided to start with my 8 year old son and we went together and bought 3 - 1 gram coins. Its not a lot but its a start and we are excited to buy more. 😄

Hello fellow Peachies!

I just discovered this group as I was searching for resources to help me with my glutes, or lack thereof at the moment.

I am a 41 year old mom to 5 and have lost all my figure and am trying to get it back. I went from my highest weight 230, down to 185 and need to start building some muscle!

I think my glutes are one part of me I really dislike. They are just flat.. i do think I've lost the brain muscle connection to them, so I've been trying to be more mindful to engage them even with simple walking.

I did a very intense leg day yesterday that included cable kickbacks and I am very sore today. I think some of that soreness is from trying to figure out how to do the cable kickback, so I dont even know how many reps I did because I was trying to figure out if I was doing it properly.

Sorry for rambling..

Im excited to be on this journey of building muscle!

Anyone lucky enough to experience both, like me? I have a kidney defect which causes me to pass kidney stones fairly regularly. Which in turn triggers gerd symptoms ... im passing a stone currently and have been having bad reflux and the oh so lovely globus sensation. I have an appointment with my urologist in an hour so hopefully I can get some relief.

I have a parent that is in palliative care due to stage 4 cancer. She is not expected to live another 6 months. I know shes not needing hospice yet but I just am looking for more information so we can prepare for when she is. I guess I just am hoping to get any info about the process about being admitted to hospice, what I should get ready for in advance.

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Also any suggestions as to a good hospice center is appreciated. Location probably west ottawa, but not too picky.

I am wondering what the difference would be between hospice care in a home vs in a hospice center. We thankfully arent at that point yet, but I want to be prepared and need to start planning. Doctors gave mom 2 more months.

I have offered for her to come stay with us as I am know she doesnt want to go to a home. Shes a psw so she knows that side of things and would never want to be a patient in those settings. I am however worried about taking care of her as I have young kids so I dont know if ill have time to take care of her 24/7. If there is more help doing in home hospice than I could potentially handle it, but if shes getting more help in a hospice center then I think it would be better for everyone if she could go there.

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Any thoughts and or advice?

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Mom was diagnosed sept 2024, with stage 4 cecal cancer, with mets to liver, lungs and lymphnodes.

She was pretty stable until a few weeks ago when she developed some loss of speech and slurring. They discovered there are 40+ lesions in her brain and a large mass nearly 2cm with tons of swelling which is what's causing her speech and language issues.

After finding this they did another CT to check on her other spots of cancer. They discovered most of her tumors have grown, with some remaining the same or shrinking a little bit. Her cancer is adenocarcinoma with neuroendocrine differentiation with BRAF mutation also. Shit on top of shit...

We were told the targeted therapy was her last line of treatment. The BRAF mutation is just too aggressive and with the neuroendocrine differentiation there just isnt much to be done.

They are going to do some radiation therapy to her brain to hopefully stop the masses from growing temporarily to get her through a few more months. He also said he'd zap her main tumor if she responds well to the brain radiation.

A few more months.... at most. My mom is 64.. I see older people wheeling their 80 yr old parents and grandparents around and I am envious. My mother in laws mother passed away a month or so ago, and I am finding myself in a spot that I feel to young to be in. I cannot even begin to imagine how people who are younger are doing through this. Its not fair. Cancer is the absolute worst...

We have an appointment with a lawyer thursday to discuss this but I just want insight before then because im flustered.

Edit: please focus on the question and not the sexual orientation of my mother... theyve both told me they are not in a conjugal relationship.

My mom is dieing of cancer. For some reason shes been filing as common law with her bestie and they have been living together for 15+ years, as room mates. My mom owns the house, and pays the bills. Her friend will pay for groceries sometimes. Her friend is 18 years older than her. They are not in a conjugal relationship. Her bestie has now decided that everything should go to her when my mom dies, leaving me and my sister with nothing, though she claims she will leave what's left when she dies to us. Problem is she also has a son who doesnt work so I don't see it getting back to us ever if that happens. Besties name is not on the deed.

Even if my mom writes her out of the will, she could technically file a dependency claim... I've known this bestie for 28+ years the fact that shes done this blows my mind. The fact that she thinks she should be the one to Inherit everything is just mind blowing. Id rather it all go to charity at this point.

I truly believe my mom didnt understand what would happen by doing everything as common law partners, even when they are not. We also weren't expecting her friend to out live her.

This is such a nightmare.

Any in sights are welcome...

My mom was diagnosed with a brain tumor yesterday. She has yet to make a will or assign POAs.
We need to get this sorted asap.
Will a lawyer ask for a letter from her doctor stating that she's of sound mind to make these decisions and the tumor is not affecting her decision making?
The tumor is currently just affecting her speech. Will the notes from her CT based on tumor location be enough to show that her cognition is still intact?

There was a grandparent at school pick up warning other parents that if their kid wasnt feeling well it was likely a stomach bug as their grandchild was home sick after having thrown up several times throughout the day.

So of course now I am spiraling.

I get for most people talking about it and experiencing it is no big deal but whyyy was I within ear shot of this?! Normally I pick up my daughter and go right back to the car and my son meets us at the car, but today my daughter wanted to stay and wait...

Ugh fuxk this phobia.

I was lucky enough this week to get a full set up of a horizontal 40 gallon terrarium for free, from someone who lost their bearded dragon.

Initially we were going to get a crested gecko but we know these are not the right type of enclosure for them and considered building a frame around it with a door, to make it vertical (still an option).

2 questions

Ideally we would use it as is, would a gargoyle be ok in a 40gal horizontal?

Secondly I have a 10g bioactive terrarium and want to transfer that over to whatever set up we end up going with for our gecko, will it be ok if its native species of spring tails and isopods? Does it matter where they are from?

I got my blood drawn this morning and I am so scared of it coming back all normal. I have felt very off for over 2 years and I've been offered no resolutions or diagnosis.

I just feel like if it comes back fine then I have no good reason to be in pain and so fatigued. I dont want an autoimmune disease but it will at least give me a reason for the way I've been feeling.

I finally got a req for bloodwork to test for autoimmune diseases!

Now when is it that I should go do this test for the best chance of it being accurate?

I think im at the tail end of what id consider to be a flare. Still having joint pain, but the fatigue is mostly resolved and have reached insomnia..

I assume its still active enough that it would show.

What do you think?

I have an appointment this evening to request blood tests for auto immune disorders.

Any tips?