u/4thebothand

Hey all,

I’m a trans masculine person and I’m wondering what everyone thinks about language surrounding news stories and conversations about “women’s issues” in the wake of recent news. From within the Trans community I’m hearing a lot of push to include trans women and trans fem people when we talk about “women’s issues,” and I’m also hearing that a lot of trans macs and trans men who were raised as girls are feeling left out of the conversation entirely. I’m curious what people outside the community are thinking/doing to bridge these gaps, and when you talk about “women” and “violence against women,” who do you mean? I don’t mean to debate anyone’s identity, I’m just truly curious about what most people mean when they address these topics/use these phrases.

Hello all,

I see a lot of people posting on here who are expressing a lot of fear and hopelessness so I just thought I’d talk a bit about my experience. I’m in no way offering advice or trying to predict anyone else’s experience, but here’s some things about my own:

What’s gotten better since going off T (after 6 years) almost 12 years ago:

1. My mental heath. When I went off of T I had a lot of fear/anxiety/panic attacks. This went away, it took maybe a year or so fully level out and get my bearings. I’m a happy person with fulfilling relationships.
2. My body hair/facial hair. My body hair has not disappeared, but it has thinned very significantly and if I want to I can shave it without tearing up my skin, no big deal. Facial hair is more stubborn, but has also thinned a bit. I know that if I wanted to get rid of it completely I could, but I shave what’s there and no one seems to be able to tell (my facial hair is blonde). I feel strongly that female humans are mammals and should be allowed to have body/facial hair regardless of hormonal journeys, so I’m not desperate to get rid of it, but I could if I were- probably within a year of treatments.
3. “Passing.” I don’t pass as a cis woman, but I also never did and don’t really consider myself a “cis” woman. In LGBTQ+ spaces I feel much more clearly seen as an afab person, and strangers sometimes read me as a lesbian. I feel confident that, if it were important to me, I could “pass” as a cis woman, but I personally don’t prefer to express that way or make efforts to that end. For me, being seen as a cis man in queer spaces was very hard, so I’m glad to be more visible as myself.
4. Confidence. One of the things that used to really get me down was feeling embarrassed. Not embarrassed because I “made a mistake,” but embarrassed to be a female person who doesn’t look or behave the way that culture demands. I understand now (better than I did when I was younger) that I’ve always felt this way and that it was part of what motivated me to transition. Feeling like I owe the world a pretty, feminine version of myself has led me down some really self destructive roads and it’s been hard to shake. I feel like I’m now free to work on my self acceptance for real, and it’s amazing.

People who are born into female bodies have female bodies. The world shouldn’t be able to gaslight you into believing you aren’t yourself, or don’t have access to yourself, or have somehow forfeited your right to be yourself. If you’re here, you’re amazing and you’ve literally made history with how strong and courageous you are. In 11 years (or whatever) your story might be really important to someone, so keep them in your heart on your way.