u/69Dark-Horse69

Oh fuck

Im loosing it

Its all coming undone

Im mixing the threads

And I've let them catch fire

Everything's becoming a real mess

Today feels like the last

That change can still come

After this the play will just be run.

The outcome laid out in certainty

Tears falling since my eyes opened

In silence i lye in bed I just can't get up

For im stuck in my head and I don't know what I've done

I keep messing up and I've lost self respect

I don't know who I am

Im more than ready to give up

I've loved so much

And I've tried so hard

But Im not sure i got anything right

Every message I missread

I mix up your names

Jumbled in this cyber space

I no longer want to be in this place

My world is collapsing

I am to blame

I think im right and then im wrong

Everything is changing on me

But it's not

So it's my perception

And im just completely broken

I keep thinking ive fixed things

Only to find I've created more mess

I've systematically destroyed everything i held close to me

The strength of my fear is greater than my love

So I've decided I can't trust what I see

The person i want to find doesnt want to talk to me or see me, So I am now sure she just hates me

Now I believe all the nice things she writes were never intended for me. And on this journey im just getting in the way of her next great discovery.

So on the last day of change

I shall lie in bed and let it all go over my head

I'll fondly read what you write, and try to not bite

I hope you all get what you want, and later I'll write all my apologies.

​

Oh fuck

Im loosing it

Its all coming undone

Im mixing the threads

And I've let them catch fire

Everything's becoming a real mess

Today feels like the last

That change can still come

After this the play will just be run.

The outcome laid out in certainty

Tears falling since my eyes opened

In silence i lye in bed I just can't get up

For im stuck in my head and I don't know what I've done

I keep messing up and I've lost self respect

I don't know who I am

Im more than ready to give up

I've loved so much

And I've tried so hard

But Im not sure i got anything right

Every message I missread

I mix up your names

Jumbled in this cyber space

I no longer want to be in this place

My world is collapsing

I am to blame

I think im right and then im wrong

Everything is changing on me

But it's not

So it's my perception

And im just completely broken

I keep thinking ive fixed things

Only to find I've created more mess

I've systematically destroyed everything i held close to me

The strength of my fear is greater than my love

So I've decided I can't trust what I see

The person i want to find doesnt want to talk to me or see me, So I am now sure she just hates me

Now I believe all the nice things she writes were never intended for me. And on this journey im just getting in the way of her next great discovery.

So on the last day of change

I shall lie in bed and let it all go over my head

I'll fondly read what you write, and try to not bite

I hope you all get what you want, and later I'll write all my apologies.

Oh fuck

Im loosing it

Its all coming undone

Im mixing the threads

And I've let them catch fire

Everything's becoming a real mess

Today feels like the last

That change can still come

After this the play will just be run.

The outcome laid out in certainty

Tears falling since my eyes opened

In silence i lye in bed I just can't get up

For im stuck in my head and I don't know what I've done

I keep messing up and I've lost self respect

I don't know who I am

Im more than ready to give up

I've loved so much

And I've tried so hard

But Im not sure i got anything right

Every message I missread

I mix up your names

Jumbled in this cyber space

I no longer want to be in this place

My world is collapsing

I am to blame

I think im right and then im wrong

Everything is changing on me

But it's not

So it's my perception

And im just completely broken

I keep thinking ive fixed things

Only to find I've created more mess

I've systematically destroyed everything i held close to me

The strength of my fear is greater than my love

So I've decided I can't trust what I see

The person i want to find doesnt want to talk to me or see me, So I am now sure she just hates me

Now I believe all the nice things she writes were never intended for me. And on this journey im just getting in the way of her next great discovery.

So on the last day of change

I shall lie in bed and let it all go over my head

I'll fondly read what you write, and try to not bite

I hope you all get what you want, and later I'll write all my apologies.

I know I left you

And you begged me not

Just needed to think

And thought the door open

I wasn't leaving you

Departing the untrue narrative we shared

My only goal to open your heart

So we could grow together once more

I needed that time to find a way in

Imagine my heartbreak

Upon my return

To find the doors locked

And my keys broken

My fingers are bloody from scratching the walls

My soul bleeding out on the floor

Never betrayed

Permission was given

Just needed honesty

To provide comfort inside

A thousand times we've lived our lives

Together in peace harmony and love

I want you back, I hope thats clear

With everything you keep dear.

Excitement and fun you were my one

Now I have lost you in the night

But I won't give this fight

Till you tell me to my face

I mean nothing to your heart

Until then my soul is yours

And my thoughts are on reconciliation

If you'd take my advice

I'd say. Open your heart

Unlock the door

And cast off the shutters

It can start slowly

Give it a try

It will be something different

Fresh and new

You are in charge

You set the rules

Maybe just for a day or two

Then you can see

What you didn't before

And maybe I can pick my heart up of the floor

I have no patience

I never did

I am Me

And you are you

We have a plus 1

And I love us all