u/75Mav

They say they always come back and mine has come back several times even after it seemed we would never talk again. I’m worried I’ll finally start healing and then they’ll come back and undo all that work I’ve done. Or I’ll finally start moving on with someone new and they will show up and I’ll be more confused than ever. It’s been 6 months since we’ve talked. The longest we’ve gone. So maybe this time she’s finally done… I guess I just want to know what’s the most someone’s had the their avoidant ex come back again?

So a while back I was on tinder and a couple other dating apps. Anyway I came across a profile that I think was my avoidant ex’s. It had two generic pictures but nothing showing it was her. But the profile name was that of an old instagram handle of hers and her Snapchat username. It didn’t have her actual name on the profile. Also it was a very basic profile. With very limited info.
When I originally saw it I blocked it right away because it freaked me out. Then I ended up deleting my profile. A few weeks later I got back on the app and I saw that profile again. I was curious so I didn’t block it this time. It kept showing up approximately the same distance to where she was currently living. But then I would go to work about 35 minutes away and then the profile would show up 1 mile from my work for hours. She lives no where near my work. She was living probably 45 minutes from my work. This went on for a few months. I think she was using tinder passport to switch between her home and my work.
Well one day her profile was just gone. And I was scrolling on instagram and her instagram showed up the same day the tinder profile disappeared. Before that day she had me blocked on instagram.
I feel like my ex was definitely hovering me on tinder for a while. I’ve heard it’s common for avoidants to hover on social media. Is it also common for them to hover on dating apps? And it’s made me wonder if I’m imagining things or not.