u/7k_kjaji

Hi everyone. I’m a foreign student living in China, and recently I started using Chinese dating apps to meet people and make new connections.

I’m still figuring things out, and honestly, I have mixed feelings about it.

I’ve noticed that some people on dating apps are mainly looking for something sexual, while I’m more interested in getting to know someone first and possibly building a meaningful relationship. I’m not against dating or intimacy, but I don’t want every conversation to immediately become sexual.

Another thing I’m worried about is privacy. I’m foreign, and I live in a community where there are many Chinese students and people around me. I don’t want people I know to recognize me on a dating app or accidentally discover something personal about me before I’m ready to talk about it.

For Chinese people who use dating apps:

* How do you normally start a conversation with someone you don’t know?
* Is it normal to ask for photos early in the conversation?
* How can I tell if someone is genuinely interested in getting to know me or only looking for sex?
* Do Chinese guys usually prefer chatting for a while before meeting, or meeting quickly?
* What are some things foreigners often misunderstand about Chinese dating culture?
* How do you protect your privacy when using dating apps?
* If you meet someone from the same city or social circle, how do you handle the possibility of being recognized?

I’d especially appreciate answers from Chinese people who have experience with dating apps and from foreigners who have dated in China.

I’m not looking for stereotypes or judgments. I’m genuinely trying to understand how dating and privacy work here and how to approach people respectfully.

Thanks.

Hi, I’m 21 and currently living in China for my studies
Since I was young, I felt a bit different, but I didn’t really understand it. Recently, I started feeling more confused about my sexuality. I think I might be bisexual, but I’m not sure yet.
The problem is my environment. I live with friends, and they often make jokes about gay people. Because of that, I don’t feel safe to be myself. I act like a straight guy around them, but inside I feel different.
About two months ago, I started talking to a Chinese guy online. He is gay, very kind, and we talk almost every day. He texts me, replies to my Snapchat, and checks on me. When I talk to him, I feel really happy. But when I don’t talk to him, I feel empty.
I think this might be my first real emotional experience like this, maybe my first love, and that’s why it feels so strong.
He once asked me if I could come visit him so we can go together to watch a show. I’m actually planning to meet him in the summer after I finish my studies, and I would go alone.
At the same time, I feel scared. I don’t trust people easily because I was betrayed by close friends before. I also haven’t told him that I might be bisexual.
What scares me the most is my cultural background and losing him also not fully understanding myself and for real
I feel stuck between being happy with him and being afraid of everything around me.
So if anyone Has anyone been in a similar situation?or How did you deal with these feelings and fears?

Thank you