u/ADoodYouKnow

So not so long ago, I had a not so great argument with my now ex that makes me feel completely used and lied to. Finding out they had been talking to someone new for several months without my knowledge and me only finding out from a screenshot sent with their name at the bottom of it. Not only that, I had co-signed on a big time purchase beforehand for them a couple of months before finding out this information. Now I’m stuck on this purchase with them until it’s either paid off or refinanced. This has made me feel used, and manipulated, because if I had that knowledge before, I would’ve never allowed that purchase to happen. Am I right in feeling this way?

They say you do things you would never catch yourself doing before, all for the love of another person. That statement was true for me for a while. I was (and still is to an extent) in love with someone where I loved every moment I got with them, whether it would be watching Reality TV together and relaxing at home or trying new places to explore our tastebuds.

Theres stretches of relationship hardships, which we were no strangers to, but this one felt unbearably worse than before. A significant portion of time where communication was lacking, criticism was made consistently, passive aggressive comments made by me causing me to shutdown when criticized. and overall lack of appreciation and understanding, to where silence was my answer as nothing was ever good enough, no matter how hard I tried. I did many things for the love I have for them, and it didn’t feel appreciated. Time goes on and a name that was never mentioned showed that there was someone else. The boundary of trust and communication was broken. Things happened as I operated out of hurt and insecurity, and crossed boundaries I never imagined myself crossing. No one physically hurt anybody, but emotionally we were traumatized from the out come. It’s hard to admit when you did something behind someone else’s back, and it’s even harder when you did it out of retaliation of them doing it to you. Whether any trust or respect can be repaired is beyond current comprehension, but knowing both parties did something wrong and very damaging to one another is acknowledging the relationship was toxic in the first place.

Friends, anyone reading, always trust your gut, communicate, listen to each other and never do anything you’ll regret in the future, no matter how hurt or upset you are. No one wins.