u/AHealthman

Hello, I personally think I have Level 1 ASD.

But I am unsure how subtle these traits can look; I don't mean to offend anyone by saying subtle and mild. But can the "difficulty with social cues" just look like feeling a delay during socialising, hyper-ruminating on social conversations with new folks afterwards, and feeling a sense of inauthenticity? Is this how it actually is for most high-masking individuals?

I hear about the meltdowns, or shutdowns many folks on the spectrum have, but after socializing, I just feel deeply drained or tired, not necessarily shutting down, nor have any sensory inputs caused me to break down, from how many folks I know that are on the spectrum, and how many of them tell me they have these shutdowns, I feel as if there's no way I can have it.

Even with confirmation that these traits can look like that, how can I even get a diagnosis with the DSM-5's requirement of causing significant impairment? I do not feel as if I need support constantly at all for my ASD; I was diagnosed with ADHD first, and feel that is my most noticeable deficit. Perhaps, my perception of Level 1 ASD could be skewed due to how many undiagnosed folks we have going around, or the examples the DSM-5 provides for Level 1 ASD.

I can discuss this significantly more in detail if anyone is willing to; I am specifically looking for Level 1s that were diagnosed in their Teen years or Adult years that felt like their ASD was fake, or too subtle.

In conclusion, I am unsure if I just fit into the Broad Autism Phenotype, or it's appropriate that I aim to get a diagnosis; for me, the diagnosis isn't for getting accommodations; it's for finding my people and understanding the whys behind many things.

Hello, I am 14 years old, I recently have been hyper fixated on my own intelligence.

On anything that isn't interests, I feel a sluggish cognitive tempo (SCT), however, for intense interests I have extremely fast thinking and learning on them, often becoming masters of a given topic in just a few weeks.

But, I feel like my ASD gets in the way, whenever I try to seek out anything that could help me identify my raw intelligence, I all find it so flawed, biased, and cannot find a secure answer, I have well accepted this conclusion many times. But, my ASD has a need to verify my intelligence once and forever.

So, I have been stuck in this infinite loop of thought, constantly reading as many sources as I can, just go find them all wrong, and then keep going for more. Everyone's needs and struggles are different, but, in my case I would prefer my ASD over my ADHD, the massive inconsistencies of my performances across various subjects is what injures my self estimation the most.

In conclusion, I don't know what to do, I find everything reaffirming to be wrong, and anything that I find right I flag as my own emotional bias. I found my group of people (neurodivergents) but I also want to see if I fit into 2e, I am not the gifted kid anymore, just the lost 14 year old.

Any advice, words of affirmation, and more will be greatly appreciated.

Edit 1: If my writing appears confusing or repetitive, this is my raw thoughts and my current sleep deprived state 😅

Edit 2: The reason why I have been in this infinite loop of hyperfixation is also telling myself that I cannot verify if I am intelligent or capable to deem any sources biased or factually incorrect, nor I can draw better statistics.

I see intelligence as a abstract, messy, and non-linear spectrum. Perhaps the most broad spectrum I've ever witnessed.

Edit 3: I also gravitate towards older neurodivergent peers who are widely accepted to be gifted, I see how they flew through university and stuff, even with worse environmental conditions I have, they always manage to correct others. If I am explaining my intelligence, I feel like I understand explanations at a gifted level, whereas my ability to curate these answers is fairly average. But I could have a skewed perception of gifted and average.

Everything is just a total mess and nobody around me can reciprocate it without giving me shallow answers.