u/AJ_036

This just happened at midnight i had just been cleaning her up and put her in her cage to sleep went upstairs and then two minutes later i got paranoid that I might have made her bleed so went back down to check up on her i removed her blanket and opened the cage for her to come out so i can check on her it was dark but not completely i brought her out and this is where things get blank i cant seem to remember if she bit me and my hands had a reflex or what exactly nonetheless she panicked and either hit the wall or ground awkwardly and broke her neck we brought her to the vet and they did xray and everything i brought her home put her in a box and a few hours later i beard her jerking and screaming i went to check on her and I’m positive she passed in my hands but I didn’t notice until later at 3 am i had that feeling and checked the box and she passed. Ik accidents happen but it did happen after 5 years i killed my bird ik my sister is frustrated with me cause it is my fault but she understands these things happen when they told us it was a broken neck i was sure she wasn’t making it. Im not sure how to process her death and am beyond distraught i loved her so much and my instincts killed her gosh i am still in disbelief i slept for a few hours and still haven’t buried her. The thing is its not an odd thing that i let her out in that lighting she usually never panics the way she did but I should’ve known better and been more careful its shocking that if i didnt get paranoid none of this would happen my over concern was the thing that got her killed. I lost a stray budgie a few months ago that broke his beak and being the cause of these two deaths im not sure how to move on from this, i never would have thought this would happen and it did now I’m just waiting till i can bury her everything happened so fast and I’m not sure I’ll be able to cope with this death