From the writer of absolutely nothing, the MUU’s smallest and dumbest adventure is approaching sooner than you may think…
Watch Read the trailer here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/183KOpZi1cnt1pkcOS2oV4fVoXhHBvY_f/view?usp=drivesdk
Synopsis:
“Eric O’Grady is in debt. Eric O’Grady finds an Ant-Man suit. Eric O’Grady now has three (3) crime families chasing him. Eric O’Grady is fucked.”
I posted something similar like half a year ago, but a) some of my ideas have changed and b) no one saw it then anyway so I wanna post them again.
I love Sonic, have since I was a kid. I also like the Sonic movies, though I do think it’s carried by my love of the characters rather than the actual movies themselves. Obviously there’s too much human bullshit, but more than anything, I think the movies are sauceless. It’s a combination of the kind of flat and uninteresting directing (though this absolutely isn’t Jeff Fowler’s fault. He’s directing imaginary creatures most of the time, there isn’t a lot he can do) and the lack of game music. It is hype sometimes, mainly when Super Sonic is on screen, but overall it’s just sorta basic.
I feel like Sonic needs to have sauce, though: his original selling point was just ‘he’s Mario but sick as hell’. And when I was thinking about how to inject sauce into my dream Sonic movie, I immediately came up with the idea of making it fully animated in the Spider-Verse adjacent style. Then I stumbled upon this video (https://youtu.be/pQlsHI4HvfY?si=uG7ODD2G0Ii8BgGR) which perfectly visualises what I’d want this movie to look like. I don’t know enough about animation to know if a full feature length film in this style is feasible, but it would be dope as fuck if you could.
I also hate how the movies drip-feed the characters one at a time. I genuinely think Sonic has one of the best extended casts in gaming and one well suited for movies/tv/comics/whatever (definitely more than Mario) and it sucks that most of them just aren’t in the movies. As you can tell by the 16 slides containing 22 characters, this idea seeks to rectify that.
I’m imagining a trilogy. When coming up with these movies, I came to the realisation that Sonic doesn’t really have a status quo or ordinary world: we don’t really know what Sonic & Co. get up to between games (NOTE: I have not read the IDW comics and I read some of the Archie Comics when I was like 8 and barely remember them. This is primarily based on the games). So I came up with my own status quo, taking minor inspiration from the original Sonic Bible (https://youtu.be/fwDGReApaB0?si=I4LkeUxRwvQ4aL9a). I’m also pitching this as an origin, essentially ‘Ultimate Sonic’ in the vein of the OG Marvel Ultimate Universe.
Sonic, Tails and Knuckles live as foster siblings in Station Square. They attend a high school alongside Amy, who lives with Cream and Vanilla. I’m also fudging all their ages a bit: Sonic and Amy are both 16, Tails and Cream are 14 but Tails is smart so skipped a few grades and Knuckles is 18, either a senior or recently graduated (either way, he works a part-time job with the Chaotix Detective Agency). Tails would have an unpaid internship at Eggman Industries: Sonic would get his powers here when a machine malfunctions when he comes to pick Tails up. The first movie would end with Sonic deciding to leave Station Square and explore the world: Tails joins him now that they know Eggman is for sure evil.
Thematically, these movies are about nature, and the corrupting force of business (primarily Eggman). The initial worldbuilding supports this: Station Square is inhabited by both humans and animals because the animals were driven out of their natural habitats, the Green Hills being transformed into Chemical Plants by Eggman Industries.
The first movie would be ‘Sonic: The Blue Blur’, taking inspiration from Sonic Adventure as Sonic, Tails, Knuckles and Amy trying to find the Chaos Emeralds before Chaos can. Chaos would be used by Eggman to manufacture a threat to make his Robot army appealing to GUN. The second movie would be ‘Sonic: The Black Blur’, bringing in Shadow and Rouge for a Sonic Adventure 2 adaptation. The final movie would be ‘Sonic: The Silver Blur’, being a loose adaptation of Sonic ‘06. The main changes would be removing Elise and Soleanna, and maybe adding Metal Sonic, since I don’t really have another place for him. I also think you could do a Shadow spin-off between 2 and 3.
I promise this is a fancast. My goal with the cast was picking people who both realistically would do something like this and wouldn’t balloon the budget too much, while still being good fits for the characters (or at least my interpretation of them in this series). I know that casting ‘celebrities’ over voice actors is controversial, but these characters already have voice actors in the games and even Sonic Prime, so it wouldn’t be much of a fancast to just say their voiced by their existing voice actors. Also, it’s more fun for me to imagine these actors’ specific voice and personality as these characters rather than picturing a voice actor doing one of the 100 voices in their repertoire, if that makes sense. At the very least, almost everyone I’ve cast has voice acted before. I’ve kept a lot of the cast around the same age and pretty young: I’m aiming for a TMNT: Mutant Mayhem style chemistry between our leads, with the banter feeling naturalistic and real.
Xolo Maridueña as Sonic. He has this fun, excitable, quippy energy that I feel suits Sonic to a tee. I also feel like he’d be able to keep from becoming annoying, because as much as I love Ben Schwartz, his Sonic pisses me off some times. He’s proven he can lead a big project in Blue Beetle, but he isn’t above lending his voice to smaller projects, since he has smaller roles in Invincible, Moon Girl & Devil Dinosaur, Batwheels and The Boys: Diabolical. He’s also in the most recent Smurfs movie, which (not to chat shit about the Smurfs) is probably lower brow than this would be.
Micah Abbey as Tails. He’s Donatello in TMNT: Mutant Mayhem, who has mad Tails energy (little bro gadget guy). I’ll admit, it’s possible his voice has gotten deeper since that movie, but he’s still in the sequel and lending his voice to the games, so I’m sticking with it.
Rhenzy Feliz as Knuckles. He voiced Camilo in Encanto. I feel like he could bring a calm energy to Knuckles, which I want to emphasise, him being the big brother of the group. My Knuckles wouldn’t be the full himbo of, like, Sonic Boom, but also wouldn’t be full-blown Drax-style warrior like Idris Elba, and I feel Feliz could reach that middle ground.
Iman Vellani as Amy Rose. She voiced Kamala in Marvel Zombies, and had to carry a lot of the show. Kamala was basically the main character, and I felt like she did a good job (she’s also apparently in that fuckass Andy Serkis Animal Farm, but I don’t really wanna watch that). She always manages to feel like she’s just talking normally, not reading from a script, which is exactly the vibe I want from everyone. I feel like Iman would nail Amy’s personality without letting it get too annoying, which it very easily could.
Bill Hader as Doctor Eggman. I feel like if we have to find someone who could match Jim Carrey’s freak, Hader could at the very least get close. He also seems like the exact type of guy who’d agree to do something like this.
Robert Pattinson as Shadow. Watch this video and tell me I’m wrong (https://youtu.be/cdS7bv8UtIY?si=AnsTkCHLP4KUJBm9). He’s voice acted before in The Boy and the Heron, and I do think you could convince him to do it. He’s also the exact level of famous to generate hype for a sequel, and because he’s the main focus of the sequel, we can afford to spend some money on him. I like that he’s a bit older than the rest of the main cast, since Shadow has always felt older to me: he’s more mature and tired of everyone else’s bullshit.
Hailee Steinfeld as Rouge. She’s one of the more experienced voice actors on the list, obviously having major roles in Spider-Verse and Arcane, and she’s just had a turn as a femme-fatale-ish character in Sinners. This feels too easy. Plus, similar to Pattinson, she’s the right level of famous to get people hyped for the sequel while still being obtainable.
Miles Brown as Silver. I think Silver is a pretty simple character: he’s described by Sonic News Network as “a kind-hearted and optimistic individual who always wears his heart on his sleeve. He is driven by a strong sense of hope and wants nothing more than peace”, which is just most superheroes. Miles is fancast a lot as Miles Morales, and I feel the skillsets required would be similar.
Isabela Merced as Blaze. Again, I think Blaze is a pretty simple character: closed off and reserved, and devoted to her cause. I think Isabela could bring an underlying edge and fire to Blaze that would work well with Silver’s optimism, since they’re working together and both from the same apocalyptic future.
Ariana Greenblatt as Cream. I’ll be real, she’s just a talented young actress. I can’t imagine the character of Cream the Rabbit would be that much of a struggle. Plus, her IMDb has a lot of Boss Baby on it, and she was in fucking Borderlands, so she isn’t above something like this.
Jacob Batalon as Big. This one’s kind of cheating, since he hasn’t actually voice acted before. However, he has done a podcast series, which I think is close enough. I think we can to afford to take a risk on Big the Cat. Jacob has a chill energy that would really suit Big.
Ryan Potter as Espio. Done voice acting before as Hiro in Big Hero 6, plus comes back for all the spin-offs and games, so he’d probably be down. His experience as Beast Boy in Titans will help as well, since the Chaotix will mainly be comic relief (though Espio would be more of a straight man in the dynamic).
Iñaki Godoy as Charmy. Again, kind of cheating, since he hasn’t voice acted yet, but he will be in the TMNT Mutant Mayhem sequel. I like the idea that Charmy’s optimism and naïvety basically turns him into a yes man for Vector.
Chris Redd as Vector. I love him in Popstar, and I like the idea that Vector’s insane, but so confident that you don’t notice. I’m picturing a scene where the Chaotix act as Sonic’s lawyers in the second movie when he’s accused of being Shadow, and they defend him very confidently but also stupidly (this leads to Sonic jumping out of the GUN helicopter and doing City Escape).
Sandra Oh as Vanilla. I’m just imagining Debbie from Invincible. Like it’s a pretty easy 1:1 translation.
Jacob Bertrand as Mighty. Mighty would have a minor role early: he’s Sonic’s friendly rival at school before he gets powers. This casting is mainly based on his and Xolo’s existing chemistry (they either do or did have a podcast together, on top of both being in Cobra Kai), though he has done plenty of voice work.
Danny Pudi as Omega. I can think of no man better at delivering lines like a robot. I see Omega being a more light-hearted presence in Shadow’s story, not in the sense that he’s telling jokes, but just being a hyper-analytical robot to the point of absurdity.
Eric André and Hannibal Buress as Orbot and Cubot. I wanted to go for an established double act for Orbot and Cubot, and I feel their contrasting energies would suit the robots well. Eric would be Orbot, who’s more blatantly evil and crazy, while Hannibal would be Cubot, who’s more laidback, with a bit of stoner energy.
Jaleel White as Uncle Chuck. I don’t know if we can legally use Uncle Chuck since he’s from the Archie Comics and they’re a legal hellhole, but if we can’t you can just replace him with an original character. He would be Sonic, Tails and Knuckles’ foster dad. This casting choice absolutely doesn’t need to be explained though, right?
Keith David as Pachacamac. I just love Keith David, man. He’s awesome on Community, and his voice rules. I don’t wanna explain this, I don’t think anyone’s gonna care that much about my choice for fucking Pachacamac.
Theo James as Mephiles the Dark. His voice work as Bastion in X-Men ‘97 is exactly what I want for good ol’ Memphis Tennessee. I do want to change up his story a bit though. In this, Iblis is essentially a metaphor for global warming, being the fiery consequence for the destruction of nature, with Mephiles acting as its herald.
This is very long for truly no reason. If you did read all of this, thank you. I can’t talk to anyone in my real life about this without sounding completely insane.