u/AWannabePilot

This might be a little bit long so there's just a little TLDR at the bottom.

When I first met my girlfriend (6 months ago), she used to vape weed cartridges pretty regularly.

This was never a deal breaker for me, and I don't think I ever led her on in any way that she could think it would be. I just didn't want to catch second hand smoke as I work in a safety critical career that can do drug testing.

She eventually expressed her desire to quit (for health and addiction) handed me her vapes and was successful for a while. She relapsed, I found out after she was unintentionally caught and just helped her again as she still expressed a desire to quit. I wasn't mad at her, just a little dissapointed.

I believe the context of my attitude towards this is important, as I don't think I ever fostered an environment where she should be scared to talk this through and be honest with me.

I have known for at least the past month or two that she has been smoking again, unbeknownst to her. One day I just saw a cartridge charging in her bedroom, and when I left to go to the bathroom she hid it.

I didn't say anything, hoping she would just talk to me about it later. She hasn't.

I asked her a little while later if she was smoking again as I thought I could taste the weed when kissing her, she said no.

A little while later (just this week) I could still openly see the THC warning symbols on a used package when I went to go throw something out.

I still didn't say something until yesterday, when one of her friends said an offhand comment about her vaping recently, and I kinda just threw out the question again when we were alone.

She said no again, and gave some story about how she was applying chapstick and someone thought it was her vape...

I genuinely don't mind her vaping, but I am not sure how I should fully feel about her lying. This is my first relationship and I don't fully know how to continue from here.

I'm sure like everyone else I value honesty and open communication. I don't have any reason to believe she could be lying about anything else currently, but I do feel like my trust in her is not as unwavering as it used to be.

My plan was to kinda just wait and see if she opens up from here... But if she doesn't, I'm not sure what to do. This is a relatively minor issue, but it won't leave my mind until she starts being honest with me.

TLDR:

• Vaping is not a deal breaker for me
• She decided to try to quit herself
• She's been outright lying to me, and I'm not sure how to continue. I don't care about the vaping, but I do the lying.

Girlfriend consistently throws up with penetration

To just give a few bits of context that might help, as I've seen this come up in similar threads in the past...

\- She has been sexually assaulted in the past (relationship right before me)

\- She does have an ovarian cyst (painful on insertion, then she feels okay)

\- It's exclusively caused by penetration now. She did throw up early on in our relationship when we kissed and such... But I chalked it up to to her being overly excited. She saw a doctor regarding this and was told she just needs to kiss more... And we've been fine since.

But she throws up nearly every time we have sex, and it's a big bummer for both of us. We both live with our parents so our opportunities are very limited, and we've booked hotels in the past, exclusively for this and it just has backfired.

After she does throw up, she's fine and still wants to go, but almost always it puts me well out of the mood unfortunately.

I was wondering if anyone else experienced this, or knew anyone that has - and how you made improvement on it? Or could this be a lifelong ailment?