26M, Both families have known each other for years
Hi,
I'm from India, and this is in the context of an arranged marriage (AM), so cultural context may matter.
Our families have known each other for many years. A few months ago, my family sent a marriage proposal to a girl (22F). Her family politely declined, saying that she wants to continue her studies and they are not thinking about marriage right now.
Before the formal proposal, she and I had been talking privately on Snapchat (our families don't know about this). I initiated the conversation because I wanted to know her better.
She was always very quiet and eventually sent me a long, respectful message saying:
She's not a very talkative person.
She prefers spending time studying or with her laptop.
She doesn't enjoy casual chatting or hanging out.
She has a lot of respect for me.
She sees me as an elder brother and wanted to keep seeing me that way.
After that, I sent her a respectful farewell message. I also wrote something like, "If someday life brings us back to a conversation, I'm just a 'Hi' away." I never contacted her again.
Meanwhile, my family (without knowing about our Snapchat conversations) asked her family about the proposal three different times. Each time, they gave the same answer: she's focusing on her studies and they're not considering marriage right now.
Now my family has started looking at other arranged marriage proposals, although both my parents and I genuinely liked her the most.
Here's where I'm confused.
Her sister and I follow each other on Instagram. She often likes my stories and posts. The girl herself doesn't use Instagram (only WhatsApp and Snapchat).
I'm not trying to use her sister to reach the girl or send indirect messages. Our families will continue meeting at family occasions regardless.
So my questions are:
Is it okay to remain connected with her sister on Instagram?
Should I think anything of her liking my stories, or is it probably just a normal interaction between families who have known each other for years?
If you were in my position, would you completely move on, or would you leave the door mentally open since the family never rejected me personally and only said they're not looking for marriage right now?
I'd especially appreciate perspectives from people familiar with arranged marriages, but I'd also love to hear opinions from those outside India.
(P.S: I proofread and grammer checked with using AI)