I really want to pass this CPALE October 2026... :>
Hi! I just want to write my frustrations about myself here. I am currently reviewing for CPALE October 2026, and here I am, doubting myself again. I started my review ng June but it feels like wala akong natututunan. Hindi ko alam if nabuburn-out ba ako, or distracted, or what. I really want to pass the CPALE because I want to live the life na, kasi for years of living in this earth, wala akong ginawa kundi mag-aral. A lot of people I met found me boring, pero anong magagawa ko? Wala naman akong choice kundi ang mag-aral. I came from an average family, hindi kami mayaman so wala akong karapatan na magback-out sa choice na pinili ko ngayon. Since undergrad, grabe ako mag-aral like I will do everything to pass every subject. Pero now, bakit ganito? It feels like I'm not doing my best eh, pero hindi ko mafigured-out if anong mali sa akin. Tapos now, I often think of the scenarios where I didn't pass this yr, hindi ko kaya, hindi ko alam kung paano ulit haharap sa iba kapag nangyari yon. Kasi all my life, they know me as an intelligent child, a student who always at the top, and a woman who never failed.
Today, I still study pa rin naman, I still show up to my desk and finish the lessons as long as I can, pero bakit ganito yung feeling ko? Sobrang bilis ko madistract tapos tutunganga nalang ako. And I don't want this kasi the plan nga is to pass the CPALE na this year, I even want to be one of the topnotchers, so ambitious, right? haha. I also took my preboards and my raw score is average 50%. Nakakaiyak kasi some of my classmates during undergrad topped the preboards, but me? nasa top 700+, and it made me question myself again, kaya ko ba? kaya ko pa ba? Pero hindi ako pwedeng magback-out, hinihintay na ako ng pamilya ko.
I love this profession so much, I enjoy everything about this, ito yung childhood dream ko e, and I'm one step closer na. Imagine, I even graduated with flying colors. Pero bakit kailangan kong maging ganito? Bakit ngayon pa? I don't want to stop. I'm scared... I'm scared of everything that might happen this year.
So what will I do? Please, tell me what to do. Please, motivate me. Please, open my eyes. Please, make me realize things. Because I'm getting crazy, but I know for sure that failing would be the end of me...