Living alone rocks 🤘 (but it does get lonely at times)
5 months out of a relationship that lasted more than half of my life. I grew up with this person, we figured out adulting together. I thought we would grow old together too, but life had other plans.
I spent weeks crying, feeling as though my world had ended when he walked out with our dogs. But with every step forward I felt a quiet strength and confidence return to me. A version of me I hadn’t met since I was 18 except now she’s wiser. She has been knocked about by life’s circumstances, and knows better.
I am now sitting in our marital home that I have bought over from him, sipping my latte and enjoying the quiet that I thought I would never find again because this house holds too many memories. But here I am.
I spent the weekend with friends where breakfast turned into lunch then dinner, taking myself out to the arcade solo and having a ball of a time. Zero responsibilities (apart from chores and my cat), and zero regrets. Is this how people have been living their lives? What is this freedom and why did I think it was so bad before?
More importantly - why did I think I needed someone to choose me to make this life worth living? I choose myself, and that’s enough. Sure it feels lonely at times, but it’s so much better than being lonely in an unhappy relationship. When I’m ready I will likely dip my toe into dating but I’m not attached to the outcome of finding someone out there, because frankly I’m having too much fun finding me. <3