u/AbleDisD

My two roommates both say they have ASD (they are self-diagnosed, I am not) so I want to understand from other people with ASD perspective on where I went wrong. I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. I thought they’d understand since they are not NT. Everywhere I go, I always say the wrong thing. For context, my sleep is medical treatment since I am bedbound and chronically ill with a severe pain condition. I originally said 10 because I can’t go to sleep until 12 (have tried many times over the years) and ideally I need ten hours of sleep. I wasn’t saying no noise, just no dogs barking, since it’s insanely loud, even my bf who is a VERY deep sleeper gets woken up by it. They had agreed to quiet hours until 10. I thought I was just trying to explore every option and that I was being logical so I don’t understand where I went wrong, and I’d like to understand. The conversation is as follows:

Me: Hey guys, the barking upstairs just woke me up. Is there any way we can still keep the quiet hours for the dogs until 10? Maybe letting them out downstairs? Having known quiet hours the past few days has actually allowed me to sleep without meds for the first time in about a year; it’s helped me so so much, so if we can keep that agreement it would be really wonderful. It woke (my bf) up too

Roommate 1 (the woman in the couple) : I'm sorry about that.
I tried to quiet them knowing the time.

Me: Is there any way they can be taken out downstairs before 10 since there is no real way to prevent it happening for sure?

I totally understand accidents happen, it’s more that not knowing whether it might happen makes it hard for me to fully relax enough to sleep. The past few days of knowing they’d definitely be quiet until 10 has been what’s allowed me to not only sleep well but also sleep without the meds

Roommate 2 (the male in the couple): This time, it happened because both of them realized that the neighbor's dog was out, not because they needed to go to the bathroom. We can try to keep on top of it and have managed for the last two days, but we can't account for this scenario all the time.

With the front being unfenced it is unsafe to let them out there, especially when the neighbor's dog is out.

We really do want you to be able to sleep and will do our best to stay on top of it

Me: Would it be safe for them to be brought out the front on a leash before 10, or is that not safe for them given the setup?

I think there was a miscommunication about what I was asking for in the roommate meeting. I had asked Seth to communicate that my request is for the dogs to be kept downstairs during agreed upon quiet hours, since I understand that the dogs barking can’t always be prevented, but when they’re upstairs near our room, that’s what wakes me up since it’s right on the other side of the wall. It’s blunted enough downstairs that it doesn’t wake me up

If this isn’t safe or realistic for you guys/ the dogs, I totally understand that!! II really do, and I thank you guys for always trying and for caring so much. We just need to know so we can possibly make other arrangements

Roommate 2: I must be able to let them outside during my work hours without them being on leash. They don't do well being cooped up for an additional 5 hours each day and need to get their energy out periodically during quiet hours.

What you heard earlier happened because both Tuga and Tortilla hear Kobe barking through the walls. They will continue making noise until they are let out back. we will do our best to minimize the amount of noise they make inside by acting more quickly

The last two days, they were allowed in the back yard and were both barking outside similarly. It seems like that was ok

Mondays and Tuesdays, Tuga will be going to the office with me at \~6:15am, so he will be out of the house on those days

Me: Of course, I understand. And yes the backyard is not an issue, it is just the 30 seconds before they are let out

Thank you for your reply and again I appreciate everything you guys have done and how much you have cared

As a last resort, what is the earliest time they need to be let out the back in the morning? Would it be possible to not have them up here until 8am or no?

Roommate 1: The dogs need to go to the bathroom right after eating. If we harness them up to go outside in front, they will think they are going for a walk, which Tim doesn't have time to do before leaving for work.

There needs to be some room for error, or this whole arrangement will be untenable. The barking this morning was because they heard Kobe, the neighbor's dog, and I didn't catch them in time. I am, again, sorry.

I have now been triggered by this situation, though, as the dynamic is reminiscent of my parents' house. I do not want to feel that way here. This is a warning: If any other "last resorts" are made for the dogs, we will need to have a serious discussion about the duration of your stay.

Me: Yes I completely understand all of that (the first two paragraphs). (Her name), I am so so sorry that I hurt your feelings in any way, shape, or form. My wording might have been incorrect, I meant it as, “a last solution” since we had already discussed all other solutions and I understood there isn’t a way around it. I genuinely am so sorry that my wording might have been poor and really sorry for any hurt feelings I caused. If there is anything else you’d like to share with me, feel free to text me directly or here, whichever you prefer

End of convo

Please tell me what I did wrong :(

Hi!

I have always loved all things that smell good—candles, lotions, you name it. But I never got into fragrance because I have horrible option paralysis.

After a few months of doing extremely thorough research based upon every factor you can think of (also was mentioned as a rec by a few of you lovely people in this sub) I settled on Mojave Ghost. Snagged one. Literally the best thing I have ever smelt in my life. Felt unequivocally like me.

I got so sick from it, oh my gosh. I went into a really horrible flare. Too many symptoms to count, and it lasted for an entire week.

Tried Sahara Song by ROAN. Same thing but this time I also broke out in a rash in less than 5 min after spraying, and the rash wasn’t just local but a systemic reaction.

Gave up for a while. Then got Salt Air by Skylar. I mostly tolerate it, but not always.

In the past, I wore Coach Dreams for two whole years (the only perfume I owned, it was gifted to me) and I was fine. Given, my conditions have gotten worse since then. But I was okay.

Since those conditions have worsened, I sampled all of the Gucci Flora collection in person and also was fine.

My guess is that I’m sensitive to musks and especially musks that are diffusive, at the base, and structural to the scent (almost every fragrance, sigh)

I want to find scents that still feel like me, but that I can tolerate, preferably with no musks or even any heavy woods.

Has anyone found anything that has worked for them? Not just a, “I can tolerate it sometimes” scent, but “most days this is fine unless I’m in a flare” scent?

My criteria is that I hate smelling like a mall. I don’t like fragrances that smell like, “perfume.” I also went to Ulta a while ago and sampled basically everything in there, and didn’t like anything except for some Jo Malone, some Sailing Day, some Tom Ford, liked Light Blue Capri In Love, but I want something more complex and closer to Mojave Ghost

Thanks everyone 🩵

Hi!

I purchased two 7.5 mL Diptyque perfumes from Mercari (Eau Duelle and Philosykos) for $40. Is this a good deal or not? One of them is about 60% full, the other is full.

I thought it was decent but then I saw someone on EBay selling the full sample set (5 of them) for $60?!

Did I get ripped off?? (Also factor in that I got free shipping, so the order total was $45 but I had $15 in credit from sales I also used)