Super nakakababa ng self-esteem and self-confident
Since January until now, I’m still in my job-hunting era. I received two job offers during the early months, but the salary was really low (Manila area), so I had to reject them. I’ve had a lot of initial interviews, and only a few final interviews but a lot of silent rejections. By the way, I’m in the healthcare profession.
Honestly, job hunting has been draining — it really lowers my self-esteem and confidence, to the point where I just want to cry and disappear sometimes.
My parents aren’t pressuring me, but deep down I know they have expectations. They once told me that if I rejected the first offer, I might not get another one — and they were right, haha. On the other hand, My sister is the only one who constantly tells me to start working already, and sometimes she says "baka hindi ko ginagalingan”. That really hurts my self-esteem, so I often avoid talking to her, even about unrelated things. Maybe she’s right, though — when I had a get-together with my friends who already have jobs, their interview answers sounded so impressive compared to mine, which felt plain. I do watch TikTok videos and even ask ChatGPT for ideas, but still.
And at some point when i received an opportunity for initial interview, I always think that I'm not doing my best and that I'll be left with silent rejection. Even though i don't want to be negative, it's just that I can't help it.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m just dreaming too big. Is it wrong to want to work in a hospital? To aim for a salary that’s at least decent? At this point, I’m exhausted from sending resumes because I feel like I’ve already applied to almost every hospital in Manila.
All I really want is to help my parents financially, because life in the Philippines is so tough. I just comfort myself by remembering what others say — that the job market right now is really difficult.