u/Academic-Chain-7538

Like 90% of people have been atleast in 1 relationship by age of 25, like they all just possess the skill to make someone fall for them, i cant understand this. I havent had a conversation irl that lasts more than 2 minutes in 6+ years. They say something and my brain isnt just fast enough to come with a response, so i end up saying something boring like "haha cool", every single time. While other people can just call their friends and partners and keep conversation going for hours everyday.

The gap to get from my situation to actually making someone like me romantically, just seems so massive its overwhelming.

Ive been trying to figure out whats my cause for this disorder, i often hear its from some kind of trauma from parents usually, but my parents are/were great and i cant think of anything like that.

I do remember that i was extremely scared of random dumbass things when i was a kid. I used to be like terrified of playing SOCCER at school, like i cried before we had it for a while everytime. I had a friend who had a small ass wiener dog, and that poor dud had to go in a different room everytime i came over, cuz i was terrified of every dog.

I was like 6-8 at then, i was bit quiet, but was still able to make friends. Something shifted by the time i was like 11, then i shared absolutely nothing remotely vulnerable to anyone and became very isolated.

So anyone else had those kind of things, or even if you have them NOW, you can share please :)

I spent couple years of my life accepting the fact that ill never get a partner, during that time i was still badly depressed, but i was still able to find moments of enjoyment in escaping in some things; like games or series.

The past year I really tried to change that. I tried talking to people, putting myself out there, working on my social skills, but with 0 progress. I wish i could just be happy that i went out of my comfort zone, but in reality they are just constant reminder to me of how hopeless i am.

Now i cant find enjoyment in anything anymore, i just sleep like 15 hours a day and look forward to when i can sleep again the rest of the time.

Anyone else have this, and how do you manage it? :(