u/Academic_Cause_9579

I am deeply insecure about my vulva. I have an "outie", and even though I am really pale, it is not pink. Worst of all, I also have an enlarged clit (like extremely). I'm scared that if I get intimate with my boyfriend, he will be disgusted by my vulva or would feel less sexually attracted to me because of it. We've been together since 4 months now and the only thing from keeping me having sex with him is my insecurity. We're both virgins and I have told him about my insecurity already (I didn't tell him directly how my vulva looks, just that I'm extremely insecure about it), and he reassured me, I still feel anxious about it though. He also had a serious porn addiction, which is why I know his view of women is probably rather unrealistic. He told me, however, that he's seen many different vulvas. I'm so scared that he'll think mine is abnormal or disgusting and I want him to enjoy sex too, if he finds me disgusting her certainly cannot. How can I overcome this fear?

I've been feeling really insecure about my vagina ever since I've hit puberty. I'm scared that my clit is "too big", and on top of that I have an “outie” that’s darker in color, even though I'm pale. I know that bodies come in all shapes / colors, and that I should accept myself as I am, but this has been a deep insecurity for a long time. What makes it harder is that I rarely see bodies like mine represented anywhere especially in porn (yes I've looked into the vagina gallery - not exactly sure how it's called - and not even there is a clit quite as huge as mine). I've started to feel like mine is "abnormal" or unattractive - disgusting even. Even though I don’t think that about other women at all, I genuinely find all vaginas beautiful, regardless of color /shape, but I somehow still struggle to like mine. This has made me really anxious about intimacy with my boyfriend. I'm scared that if I feel this disgusted with my body my boyfriend will feel the same way. We're both young and really inexperienced and I know he's been battling with a porn addiction in the past, which I know, mostly only shows a very specific and "unreal" version of what vaginas look like. That makes me even more worried that he’ll be surprised or even disgusted by mine. I don't want to feel this way, but I don't know how to stop comparing myself to bodies on porn or fearing rejection by my body. I just want to feel comfortable in my own body and not worry about my boyfriend. Anytime I look at myself in a mirror I have to cry. Is there any healthy way, which could lighten up my vagina, maybe the area around it or make my clit smaller? I really need help, thanks for any advice!