u/Academic_Pizza_211

A while ago I came across a post of a couple living on a catamaran looking for a nanny to join them on their sailboat. Is that an actual market - could I find a job like this? I would appreciate any leads/suggestions on where to look!

I have basic sailing skills from a few trips I've been on, so as crew I am helpful, but not professional level yet. I am, however, a professional nanny. I have experience with children from 1 year old and up, I have also taught English and chess to children. I can tutor teens of all ages in mathematics, physics and chemistry. I can cook well, and have particular experience dealing with food sensitivities in children. I have excellent references... the list goes on. Most importantly, I am just great with children and have had success as a (screen-free and engaging!) childminder.

The original poster that got me thinking about this was not for me for many reasons. The couple got flamed in the comments for looking for a full-time nanny with no pay - just food/marina expenses covered. I would be expecting an allowance if constant work with a family is required, or clearly defined part-time hours for expenses covered. I am, however, open to be just about anywhere in the world.

It happened again and I am afraid that my truth about who I am socially completely fails to communicate who I am sexually. I work in STEM, I am super nerdy and love showing off. I like to present in a tough, semi-masculine way, or at least a strong feminine type, body hair here and there, sportsy outfits. I love sarcasm, friendly bickering, I can be brutally honest and I thrive when competing with others. I am quite aware that nothing about me screams "please tie me up, call me a whore and train me like your dog". But I have ALWAYS been extremely submissive, I got a weird tingle just by having my body moved around at the doctor's when I was younger. I am still waiting to get that itch properly scratched.

I have always figured that I will address this when I get to a more sexual stage with anyone I happen to meet, but I end up just. Wasting. So. Much. Time. It doesn't help that I like men who are nerdy, a little different (dare I say neurodivergent), emotional, and not afraid to engage with their feminine side.

When I do end up getting a crush and things progress, we're in a bed or on a couch, he just... cuddles up to me under my face, speaks in a baby voice, and my heart sinks instantly cause I realize I have collected yet ANOTHER submissive man who I now have to let go AGAIN and the whole thing just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I am almost repelled by the thought of me doing femdom with a man, probably because I have actually done that before for months, caught in a misunderstanding, too afraid to say anything, and I feel ashamed of it to this day. The thought of me actually dominating a man makes me ill. It makes me feel like it's all about him and not female-centered at all. I feel lonely and undesirable if a potential partner doesn't want me in a dominating way.

Does it get any better? Or should I actually change something about myself/reconsider my type to actually find what I'm looking for? Are there any signs I could look out for that suggest a shy, nerdy man is actually a dominant?

I know this is more common in more alternative/poly/plays-dnd-type communities, but this is just not my type, unfortunately.