Groomsmen likely getting uninvited
Dealing with horrible groomsmen, which I know is a trend in general of groomsmen leaning toward useless for the most part at wedding and need to be told what to do. My fiancé already had to plan his own bachelor party for example.
The only thing that he asked groomsmen to do until recently is get a matching suit from indochino (2 of them flying in from out of town so there was no cohesive rental option).
I had posted in a shared chat some 3 weeks ago fyis on wedding day and the welcome party the night before and invited all of them to a fully paid wine country day including transportation the day after the wedding (we wanted to take them to a nice treat as a thank you but wanted the night before to spend with friends and family coming from out of town). I had mentioned that the main task we need help with is on this pre-wedding day welcome party. My bridal party will receive the catering and do some light decorating (provided by us) … and we wanted the groomsmen to help clean up (literally just throw away the remaining catering and put the decorations in a box and in a car.)
I guess 2 of the groomsmen didn’t read my note so my fiancé texted them separately yesterday to let them know this is where we really wanted help.
Apparently they both threw a GIANT fit about it. It was like the straw that broke the camel’s back… which is wild because their literal only ask was to come to the wedding, try to be at rehearsal & get a suit… which the ones picked were affordable. They sent my fiancé walls of text about how much of a burden this wedding is now on their lives and that they already dropped so much money in their last minute tickets and hotels (they’ve known this was coming since November) and that it was unconscionable that they would have to also be expected to help clean up.
One of these “friends” is the best man. And supposedly, my fiancé’s best friend, who he has never asked any favors from before and has known for 15 years. I never liked him as a friend for my fiancé, cause I always thought that my man was bending over backwards for this guy and actually nurturing the friendship and always on his team, and I never got the sense that the same effort was reciprocated, and here we are — true colors coming out bright as day.
We’re now stressed knowing we are 3 weeks out from the wedding and my poor fiance is reckoning with the fact that these assholes are way worse friends that he expected to be and is considering uninviting them entirely, leaving 2 groomsmen standing.
I’m just shook that it took a request of 20 minutes of clean up time from them to get such and outsized reaction, and I’m FURIOUS that they had to frame it in the most blaming and self involved way possible.
I fully suppose whatever decision he makes… but he knows that it will be nuclear for those relationships if he pulls the plug on their invites, which is for sure depressing him, especially against the “best friend”/best man (worst man in my opinion). I hate even more that the main thing these stupid ass dudes will regret is lost money on flights than their friendship with my fiance.
Now it feels like the actual wedding day is gonna suck for my fiancé no matter what — he’s gonna be reminded that 2 of his 4 close friends are pieces of shit wether they come or not.
I feel really badly that I potentially caused this shitstorm for my fiancé by suggesting that the guys could clean up if the girls were gonna decorate…..I know it goes deeper than that but Jesus, no matter what my darling husband chooses, these 2 men are pretty much dead to me now.