r/weddingdrama

​

I Stacey (30F) am getting married to my partner Ben (30M) of 10 years bding together in 2 weeks and we are from the UK.

All names have been changed for privacy.

all of the planning is almost comple, so its just a wait for the big day. I have a childhood friend Called Sophie (30F) who i have known for a long time, we used to be very close and best friends until 4 years ago when we began to drift apart.

For some context, 4 years ago I was diagnosed with a rare heart and lung condition, and I was put on Oxygen for longterm use. During this time we talked almost everyday whilst I was in hospital, but I felt like it was mostly one sided. When I was discharged from hospital, I asked Sophie to meet for a coffee and a catch up, she agreed and it was planned.

On the day we were meant to meet, it was my first time out on my own with my oxygen bag, she was 30 mins late due to traffic and only stayed for 40 mins due to a booked nail appointment that she had.

Following this the meet ups were mostly one sided with me reaching out and arranging plans, because of this I was hurt, and decided to distance myself from Sophie.

Me and Sophie over the years became distant, with it still mostly one sided, Sophie however was making the effort with gifts at Christmas and birthdays. When we meet up I feel as if we have nothing in common anymore. And I have another wonderful group of friends, who have shown me how true friends are.

and is not a good person. Especially once he has had a drink and would make mean comments to my bridesmaid Jessica and her family who are also invited.

For this reason, I made the difficult decision to not invite Jamie to our wedding. I have also made the decision to not have Sophie as a bridesmaid, as we have drifted apart over the years and dont have much in common.

However I have recently had a Hen party, where I invited Sophie to come. We all had a fun day, a couple of days after the hen party I had a message from sophie asking why her partner Jamie is not invited to the wedding, and why she isnt a bridesmaid as she feels that because she is a childhood friend and has known me longer than anyone, then she should automatically be a bridesmaid. And she is very annoyed with me as she has expressed this.

Sophie has also got strong feelings against Jessica, she has been brainwashed by Jamie and his brother Jake (31M) and is not keen on her at all.

I was then honest and told Sophie the reason why Jamie isnt invited to the wedding, and why she isnt a bridesmaid. The reason being because I did not want him to cause any upset for Jessica and her family by him being confrontational and nasty which will happen once he has had a drink. And also because Jessica is a very good friend and has been there for me throughout everything.

Sophie then expressed that she was very annoyed, and that it isnt fair that she isnt a bridesmaid, as she has known me longer than any of the others. However i feel that we aren't in school anymore, we both have our own lives and friends as adults and have become distant. Sophie is also annoyed that Jamie isnt invited, as she feels that he wont cause any drama or upset for Jessica and her family. Which I strongly disagree with.

Because of this Sophie has not invited Ben to her wedding, and has not had me as a bridesmaid. Which I dont care about, but I however will not be throwing a tantrum over it, but I have asked why he isnt invited for context.

Got married 6/14/26 and boy was it a whirlwind. It was incredible but there definitely were a LOT of mishaps!

Leading up to the wedding: -2 WEEKS BEFORE: I got my hair done/dyed by my stylist I’ve been going to for over a decade. We still don’t know what went wrong but my hair did not process like it usually does (Reddit had my panicking that I was pregnant thank goodness no) and my hair was all sorts of different colors. Thankfully after a couple tweaks we got it to an acceptable color without damaging.

-1 WEEK BEFORE: my dad got appendicitis and had every possible complication that could have happened. Burst appendix, removal of a section of his colon, sepsis, further infection, we seriously thought he would not be able to travel. I drove him the 8 hours to New Mexico and the altitude change did NOT help him. My poor dad slept the whole week. Woke him up for the ceremony, went back to sleep, woke him up for dinner, went back to sleep, then woke him up one last time for father daughter dance and then he conked back out. (He is home now and doing better. He had another infection that started while we were in NM!!)

-REHEARSAL DINNER: it was going to be outside on the deck of the AirBNB. Got everything set up, lights and lanterns and decorations, spent hours on it, and then a storm came through and had to reset everything inside. Turned out beautiful though. So grateful to my family who set it all up (twice!!)

-DAY OF: hair and makeup arrive on time, none of my girls getting their hair and makeup done arrived on time. We started an hour and a half late. Then it started pouring down rain. All day. We were having an outdoor ceremony. I was fine with it but family was freaking out. I was pumped for the rainy wedding photos.

-I had a song custom recorded to walk down the aisle to. My wedding planner did nothing the entire day. Literally sat in my room and ate food my mom had made. Brought up to her multiple times how I needed to get the audio file set up for her to use and then switch to our leaving the aisle song on Apple Music after. “Oh we have hours we can go over that later”. I tried to set this up with her 4 times. It’s ceremony time (actually 45 minutes past because again everyone was late) and my bridesmaid is putting my earrings in and I tell her you need to get the wedding planner and give her this she still doesn’t have it set up. She runs and gives it to her. We had rented speakers from the wedding planner but “oh I forgot to bring them”. My bridesmaid manages to find a Bluetooth speaker in the house. My wedding planner has the audacity to say “if I had the music ahead of time I would have had it ready” WHAT?!?! I’m waiting for my cue, it’s pouring down rain, the music for guests getting seated is playing and here’s my cue for the custom recording to start…I start walking out…SILENCE. The assistant planner played the wrong file. My bridesmaid looked at her and she just shrugged. No music walking down the aisle or leaving the aisle either.

-We’re taking photos after and my wedding planner doesn’t let anyone go to cocktail hour. Just has them stand and watch us take photos. Then they try to do cocktail hour and main course at the same time.

-We’re sitting down for dinner and they start coming to everyone asking what their order was. I had submitted everyone’s orders weeks in advance. “Well the list didn’t have names on it”. First, yes it did, second, why didn’t you tell me this hours ago and I could have immediately handed you the list of orders instead of just walking around and interrupting everyone?

-Had steaks cooked to order. They all came out WELL WELL done. They killed the cow twice.

-My husband and I were not planning on doing a first dance. Not our thing. All of a sudden after the father daughter dance my wedding planner and parents start asking about our dance. Told them again we weren’t doing one. “Oh you have to!” Got pressured into it and picked a random song on the spot and danced awkwardly for half the song before we just gave up.

-We also were not doing bridal party speeches. Again wedding planner knew this. Calls on best man and MOH for their speeches. After awkwardly saying we weren’t doing that they got pressured into it by wedding planner and family. They had to make it up on the spot.

-Very expensive bottle of champagne was somehow poured two hours prior to toasts. Completely flat.

-All in all would I change a thing? No, we’re married and it was great. But for an 18 person wedding I did not expect so many snafus!!

TLDR: illness, messed up hair, food got messed up, my wedding planner basically did nothing, got pressured last minute into doing things we didn’t want to do, and walked down the aisle in silence, but hey we’re married!!!

Wedding planning is hardddd and I’m about to body slam my MIL soon lol.

My fiancé and I specifically asked on our invitations for people not to wear white or green, as he is wearing a green suit and wants to stand out too (fair and cute!) and I’ve had a fear of his (what we are peer reviewing as) narcissist mother trying to wear white since before we got engaged.

Fast forward to about 2 months ago my MIL is showing us dresses she wants to wear on her phone and asks my fiancé if she can wear green to match him. I let him decide if he was comfortable with that even though it’s kinda weird that she asked despite us being very clear about that. He begrudgingly agreed.

Then he got up to go to the bathroom and she decided she had another dress to show me. “It’s like champagne” she said as she looked it up, and I just knewwww!! And sure enough she turned the phone around and it was white. She literally said “it’s like an off white” like GIRL my dress is off white thank you very much! I told her “the green dress you showed us was so lovely” and ended that conversation cause that’s what you have to do with people like that. I think she wanted me to react but alas, I don’t give energy to that (at least public facing lol.)

I had to break it to my fiancé because he promised his mother wasn’t that bad to do something like that, and I felt hurt by it. Thankfully he believed me despite me having no proof cause she waited for him to leave the conversation, and has been very supportive and protective since.

2 weeks later she texted saying she got a dress, and refused to send a pic for a week when I asked before sending a pic of the green one when my fiancé re-asked for me. I was relieved and moved on.

However last week we were at his parent’s for dinner and she wanted to show me “her new dresses she got for the wedding because she wasn’t sure of the green one after all.” Thankfully my fiancé heard this and followed us upstairs, where he caught her pulling out another white dress that she had actually bought this time! We both just kind of froze and then left pretty quickly, but not before she said “I’m the mother of the groom and just want to wear something special to his wedding - I mean your guys’ wedding” lmao.

The next day she texted me to ask what my mom was wearing and when I told her she said “I hope the dress I showed you yesterday isn’t too casual.” I just liked the message, and two days later my fiancé texted her saying her idea to match was great and that he wants her to wear the green dress so they can look like a family in the photos lmao. Gotta stroke the ego to remind her that we already made an exception for her.

I swearrrr though that she’s going to go out again and find a white dress with some green on it and tbh I’m just going to ask the photographer to not take pics of her except for one because that’s hilarious to wear the two colours we specifically asked people not to wear. Our photographer is cool enough and I don’t really want an annual reminder of it (because she’s one of those fb boomer moms that sends and resends memories every year) and to see a pic of my husband with his mom in a white dress lol.

I’m also tempted to buy one of the white dresses she got and do a fit change halfway through the reception but idk if I’m petty enough for that.

This weekend we had a wedding in a mountain lake town about a three-hour drive from our city. We had known for a few weeks that this weekend the weather was going to be horrible: picture-freezing rain in 40-degree weather. Some guests were informed about the weather, but we were not included in that email. Thankfully, we checked the weather and were like, “Oh shit! I had to go out and buy a jacket to go with my dress and warmer shoes.” I spent money on getting my hair and nails done, and a 2-night stay at a motel in this town was over $600.

On the wedding day, all the guests showed up to get picked up by a bus that was incredibly dirty. We got bused to the lake, and it was pouring rain, windy, and freezing. They handed us some umbrellas, but it was pouring down so hard that they were not helpful. My dress and jacket were absolutely soaked. I’m holding onto my husband for body heat because I’m so uncomfortably cold that I can’t stop shivering. The bride had 13 bridesmaids, so just getting everyone down the aisle took forever, and she had her bridesmaids not wearing any kind of jacket, so these women are up front looking miserable. The ceremony was about an hour long, and we couldn’t see anything because of the umbrellas. I was so happy when it finally ended; I was scared I was getting too cold. We then got bussed to another location where they are having cocktail hour, and it’s a huge tent that absolutely could’ve fit everyone for a ceremony. The bridal party went to their lodge to change their clothes while the guests were left in their soaking wet clothes because since we were bused in, we couldn’t leave.

Finally, after an hour, we get back on the bus to drive 45 minutes out of town to have dinner. Dinner is held in a big tent that is decorated beautifully, but of course, we are the last table, Table 21. We get to our table, which is right by the big open door to this tent, and there is one heater that is only on the other side of the tent by the bridal party. So I’m already back to freezing; my clothes have still not dried. Food starts being served, and they are passing around platters of potatoes and salmon that are cold. We realized everyone else was served steak and chicken, but because we were table 21, they ran out before it reached us.

Speeches start, and one of the bridesmaids talks about her childhood for 30 minutes straight. At this point, I’m just dying for the dance floor to open up, not because I want to dance but because I’ve been soaking wet and freezing for 4 hours now, and I need to get warm; it’s about survival at this point. Finally, the dance floor opens up, and I’m finally feeling better. I danced for 2 hours straight just to stay warm. When the wedding finally ends, we go to get back on the bus, and they tell us there’s no room. People are so drunk and oblivious that they are screaming at the top of their lungs and in the aisle of the bus. I beg the bus driver to let us in; both buses were full, and I did not want to end up stranded in the middle of nowhere with no car and no cell service. I see there are coolers of booze taking up whole seats, and I pleaded with the bus driver to let me crouch down in front of the cooler. He lets us on reluctantly, and people start banging on the door to let them on the bus. The bus driver drives off without them. The drive was long, and I had to squat the whole time. I was so over it by the end that I actually started to cry. It felt like we were being held hostage.

Here’s the thing: if you cannot accommodate all your guests, just cut down your guest list. I would’ve happily sat this one out if I would have known how absolutely selfish the bride and groom would be to let their guests suffer in the freezing rain without a care in the world because they “wanted it on the beach”. I’m getting too old for these bullshit weddings where we spend a lot of money, take time off work, get all dressed up for the bride and groom to not even say hi to us at all.

My husband and I met when he was in school near my hometown. His family lived across the country and so i had only met them maybe twice before. His mother is a sweet woman but needs a lot of care and attention. She was dating/living with this guy (we will call him Luke) when we got married. Because husbands family was traveling in Luke decided to accompany MIL to help take care of her.

Everyone arrived and went to their hotel three days before the wedding. At our rehearsal dinner Luke was \* very \* friendly with my then teenaged sister. My father was NOT impressed and proceeded to stick super close to sister for the rest of the evening.

Things continued to get more awkward from there. The next day at the church he awkwardly just kind of wandered in and sat down in the front. He was fine through the whole ceremony but then we were heading to a different location for photos and, because he was driving the majority of husbands family, we gave him specific directions on how to get there. (Not far, just a couple turns. Nbd). Here’s the problem, one has to enter the address very specifically because there are TWO streets in the town with the same name but one is E and the other is W. So the address we needed to go to was 123 W street but 123 E Street also exists. Guess which one he decided to put into his GPS. Yup. East.

He drives for about an hour before finally calling my new husband in a rage because “DH gave him the wrong address and directions and now they won’t get back to do pictures.” Pictures are already over and so DH tells Luke to just drive to the reception.

We arrive at the reception and tell the DJ we are running a little behind because the family got lost. Well, 5 minutes turns into 10 turns into 15 and we cant wait any longer to do the entry. So we do our introductions, parents, the wedding party and us, my dad blesses the meal and these people still are not there. Next thing we know there is a banging and slamming on the window behind the head table. My bridesmaids all get startled and scream and the men all get up to defend the perimeter. Oh. Wait. Nope. Just Luke pounding on the window because he cant find the front door. Again this person and his sense of direction. Anyway,someone goes and finds them, they all come piling in the door after everyone is seated and already eating. DH had got up to grab something and next thing i know we hear shouting from across the room.
Luke is shouting at DH for starting the reception without them and berating him for being a disrespectful inconsiderate son. DH kept his composure (major props for that) and asked why it took them so long to get there. Luke says “well you gave me the wrong address again!”. We didn’t give him any address. It was on the invitations, website, and went out via mass text message the morning of. Everyone else found it no problem,and was there on time.

His big Einstein brain decided he knew better and input the address himself. (Incorrectly) Went the wrong way AGAIN and then blamed us for his Magellan-esque navigational decisions.
So Luke is steaming, DH is stewed, MIL is crying and nobody happy. We decided to just move on and eat and put it aside for now.

We finish meal and speeches and now it is time to dance! Luke BEELINES for my teenaged sister and asks her to dance. My dad gets a hustle on and heads him off. Now let me just pause and say Luke is a very tall, beer bellied, sweaty 70 something year old white guy. He gave us all the “ick”. So my sister is less than impressed but this is a big old man and shes about 14. Dad to the rescue! Luke kept trying to dance with the young girls at the reception, they were freaked out and finally (i think it was my dad) someone told him to sit down. Luke decided that was enough and they were going to leave now. So he packed everyone back into his car and they took off.

So, husband and I finish the party, grab our bags and head out for our honeymoon (which is another whole story). Wedding over story over right? NOPE!

Few weeks after we moved into our new apartment we get invited to dinner with Luke and MIL. Luke keeps making passive aggressive comments to my husband. This continued every time we saw him from then on.

One day, we get a frantic call from MIL, Luke’s brother died, police were involved and they were leaving to go deal with it and she was in a panic. MIL flies out with Luke and DH and i are left to take care of their dog. We go over there and I decide to be a snoop because there is just something off about Luke and no one can really put their finger on it.

Oh brother. I wished I hadn’t. We found ALL kinds of weird $3X stuff. Books, toys, movies (old school dvds). Found adult stuff on his computer, it was major gross. We told MIL all about it but she didn’t care. This guy was going to take care of her financially so yes of course she would overlook all the weird.

About a year later they decide to get married. They plan their wedding so we would share an anniversary. Still don’t know what that was about. Anyway, DH and I arrive at their wedding. I head to the bridal room and DH heads to where the guys are getting ready. Guess who isn’t there. Luke.

MIL is crying because she thinks she is getting left at the altar. No one can get ahold of Luke and the guests are starting to speculate about whether or not Luke will actually show. About an HOUR late he shows up with some lame excuse about the sprinklers at his house leaking or something. The wedding goes fine, the reception is fine. Everything is fine.

Throughout their short marriage MIL drops some hints about odd behaviors. Nothing alarming but definitely weird. Things like eating habits, asking his daughter about her s3x life, egging MIL on into a panic attack…. We tried talking to MIL about these red flags but she dismissed them because he was financially stable and took her travelling and love bombed her.

About a year later, they are moving into a new apartment and Luke (as they are moving in) says to MIL “I’m not attracted to you and I’m not in love with you anymore. The divorce papers are on the counter”. He had gone through divorce proceedings in secret pretty much from go.

Now its a mad scramble to find MIL a place to live and figure out what the heck is happening. Turns out Luke has been cheating on MIL the whole time. With a woman in her 20s. Come to find out later that he had actually been married 6 times before MIL. Every single wife left him because of his “eccentricities”.

MIL got a place to live and is doing much better now. Not sure what happened to Luke but i am sure he is sliming up someone else.

TL;DR- MIL’s skeevy boyfriend acted a fool at our wedding and then married and divorced her after he had been cheating on her the whole time.

ETA: it was NOT underage stuff on his computer. It was just gross adult stuff. 🤮

I love my grandma, I really truly do, but I shouldn't have to explain to her that a white dress is NOT appropriate guest attire for my wedding 😭 no, it does not look like a wedding dress, but there is an entire rainbow to choose from and you picked white?? It's not even beige or off-white it is "mild please for the guac" white.

Last I heard from her she wasn't even sure if she was coming because the ceremony is too early. It's at 10am and she lives an hour away. I even offered to get her a hotel room in town so she could sleep in some more. It's a very small ceremony and we are only inviting close family so I was a little hurt. I asked her to please let me know ASAP once she decided if she's coming or not, and she declined the hotel and told me to just pray she could make it.

A few days later she told my dad (not me) that she is booking a hotel on her own in town so she could come, and sent my mom (not me) a picture of the white dress she bought to wear.

My parents are begging me not to get involved and to let them handle her because "she's old" and "a little crazy" but oh my goodness I'm going nuts here lmao. She didn't even attend my parents' wedding and seems to have some kind of crisis situation whenever my brothers and I have a big event, so I shouldn't be surprised, but A WHITE DRESS??? GIRL.

I hate parties. I hate planning. I can't wait to just be married and be done with it. Husband-to-be has reassured me that if she pulls something the day of he and his family will ignore her in the moment and then laugh with me after, but omg why is this even a concern.

Love you grandma even if you're kinda nuts for this. 🩷

This is going back to 2023. That was the year I got engaged so it was a beautiful moment, but now that I am in therapy, I'm trying to be more assertive and vocal. I have been thinking a lot about the past and one thing I can't see seem to not let go is the proposal. Everyone made it about themselves and I found it so unfair. The proposal was beautiful! However, my fiance did listen to some of things, but nevertheless it was again not what I wanted entirely. It's fine because he still out did every expectation, but my mom really got to me. I showed her a million dresses I would want after the proposal and she got me one that wasnt even on the list. she kept convincing me I showed her that dress, but it wasnt even a dress I would ever wear. I just didnt feel heard and was annoyed about it entirely.

Then came the wedding events. I did a little engagement party and a full blown fight broke down over color schemes and floral decorations between my mother and I. It was her decision on everything and I felt robbed of my own engagement celebration. Once again, I was a changed woman since I got my ring on my finger.

Then came the bachelorette. The bach was VERY important for me so i took full control of planning it. I sent me MOH Inspo pics to decorate my bed and once again, it wasn't what I had imagined but still appreciated it! I just wanted simple BRIDE balloons.. nothing crazy. She was great and did a lot but this comes back to me being ignored.

My mom is young and so are her sisters. I invited my aunts to the bach but not my mom. So she wanted to host a "bridal shower" for me. Ofcourse it was her feelings and i should just listen to what she wants to do. I didn't want a bridal shower esp after the engagement fiasco.

It just sucks that every time I want to have something my way i have to get irritated and people give me crap for it. I am in therapy to deal with my mommy issues.

I even hosted a welcome dinner at our new home and fought with my mom over the fruits that should be served in my OWN home

I am so freaking tired of peoples opinions about MY wedding?

Today I said I would like to wear my watch with my dress. Because thats just me, I always wear my watch and more jewerely. And than my friends were like "whaat the watch? Even in pictures" they acted super judgemental about it.

And I was like; what? I care about how my face looks on the pictures, but not if my arm has a watch on it or not. And it irritates me that if I want to do something that I get a weird ass reaction about it.

Pffffff sorry I just got to rant about it. I know its a small thing but it felt so dissmissive about what I want. As if I am crazy for wearing the jewerly I want to wear on my wedding day..

** EDIT: thank you guys for the advice and tips and I take them to the heart. I will not share any details anymore and just say " you will see it when the wedding happens". Just keeping the details between me and my fiance and doing whatever we like.

My ex-husband and father of the bride invited someone who was not on the original guest list to the wedding. Even though I did not initially notice her, a number of guests and friends of mine came up to ask me if he had hired an escort as his date. I can only describe this thirsty b**** as past her prime maybe in her early fifties (he is 75) and dressed in what I would describe as cheap and tacky. It was a poorly made, bubble gum pink satin with some rhinestone-encrusted bra styled top and way too tight, short and low-cut. She wore some dangling pearl neck thing with a white flower hanging off of it. I will refer to it as a dog collar like a b**** in heat would wear. After the wedding, I was told that while she was dancing, she failed to realize or simply ignored the fact that a tit had popped out of the dress. A friend of the groom's mother approached a friend of mine and asked if she should point out to this floozie that her boob was out, to which my friend said yes, and subsequently, this guest did just that, to which the Temu barbie acted so surprised but did at least tuck it back in. Because we are on friendly terms, prior to this happening, I didn't mind asking him where he found the escort, but he laughed and told me "she's a nice lady" and not his date. She made sure to tell him that someone was hitting on her and could she put her arm around his so she could say she was with him, so of course, she definitely looked like his date to everyone else.which, of course, is exactly what she wanted everyone to think. One of my sons snapped a picture of this chick, who was, at the end of the night, carrying her Temu white purse with a big white flower on it and her rhinestoned stilettos in her hand., because of course what is a nice lady to do when her feet get too swollen from jumping up-and-down on the dance floor with her boob hanging out? My primary response to all of this was to simply roll my eyes at how clueless my ex is (which is, of course, much of the reason he is my ex) but this morning, I explained to him what transpired at our daughter's beautiful and elegant wedding and shareed with him the numerous comments that were made to me about how ridiculous he looked with her. I'm disappointed another guest had to go and tell her to stuff her boob back in her dress, but I really would hope he understands what a terrible look it was for him. I know somebody is probably going to tell my daughter about it, but it certainly isn't going to be me. For the record, this isn't a jealousy thing. I'm in my early 60s and put in the work to look fabulous. My reaction to her has nothing to do with me and everything to do with my clueless ex-husband not understanding how silly it made him look at his own daughter's wedding. If nothing else, I did at least make fun of him! Otherwise the night was absolutely wonderful and everything our daughter could have hoped for and that's what really counts. My friends and I have decided someone must have lied to her and told her it was a costume party much like the scene in Legally Blonde!

First of all, sorry if i mess up a few times, english is not my first language and i might still be a little hangover...

So basically my best friend since Kindergarden for like 25 years, never showed up to 3 separate occations related to my wedding.

I've been together with my (now) wife for around 15 years and we finally decided last year that we maybe "do" want a wedding... my friend knew me since we were like 4 years old and we stayed bf's until we turned like 25, so naturally me and my wife were also a big part of his life.. the last few years however our ways separated a little due to different jobs, we moved to different cities, life happend...

But, for the wedding i wanted him back in my life and tried to spend some more time with him again.. i told him about our engagement and invited him for my bachelor party, the small registry office Party and the actual wedding party (different days). I even asked him if he wanted to be my best man.. (which he declined due to some personal stuff and he thought he would lack the time to handle it properly)... at the bachelor party he wrote the very morning that he was sick and couldn't come... All fine here, we all get sick, thought nothing of it and wished him to get well soon..

.. then a few weeks later the registry office event came.. we planned a small party with a little finger food and music ...but he didn't show up.. i checked our whatsapp messages and he definetly said he was well again and that he would love to come.

sneakily asked him the day after if all was fine, since i was a little confused and wanted to see if he just missed the date or something..

: No no i'm fine, all good just chilling.. you ?

: ahh you know little tired from the registry office party yesterday, but we're happy..

:haha yea i can imagine!

... kept it there.. either he forgot he wanted to come, or he didn't wanted to talk about it, no reason to pursuit it any more than this.

So naturally i wanted to make sure and checked a few days ahead if he's still good for the actual wedding party, the big one, where every guest actually costs a lot of money and planing time ( yesterday) ...

: yeah, totally ! Can't wait, it's gonna be great!

So.. the wedding started and actually all guests came.. except for one guy... my ex best friend.. no call, no message, no "sorry i won't make it".. just never showed up... the 3rd time in a row, for what is kind of the most important event in our lifes...and after the third time this feels no longer like a coincidence.

This is only "mildly infuriating" (for me at least) because i still had an amazing wedding, me and my wife had the best day of our life with so many people that cared for us, and we're truly blessed

but we realised that this one guy that was present for most of our relationship, just maybe doesn't want to be a part of our lifes anymore...

I wish you all a great day !

I was supposed to go to a wedding this weekend.

It was a destination wedding for me and essentially everyone (90% or more of guests and family.)

We received messages that it was cancelled two days before the multi-day massive destination wedding.

We just found out, from various people on all sides, that the groom has been abusive towards the bride. The family has known but another incident occurred that day causing them to cancel. The bride still didn’t want to cancel. She is now calling her family horrible people who don’t want her to be happy. We are all scared for her. She has already alienated her friends and now she will likely also be isolated from her family. We are worried about what’s to come.

Many of us just found out they are actually already married - court wedding.

Ok, so this happened maybe 10-15 years ago. I worked at a job where there were 14 people to a shift, 12 hour shifts and open 24/7; office environment. My shift supervisor was a middle aged black woman (yes, race is a factor, just hang on lol) who reconnected with her childhood sweetheart later in life when both of them became eligible, one through divorce and one who was widowed.

Mary was SO excited about inviting us all to the event. The nature of our work tends to build strong bonds and we too were excited about attending. Mary went on and on about how fantastic the sit down dinner would be at the reception. We were all gonna get the true Southern Black Dinner experience and we were gonna LOVE it.

Fast forward to the day of the event. It was held at a small rural church in the middle of nowhere. The service was lovely. Afterwards we all file out into a seperate building they called the fellowship hall. Huge room, think basketball court sized. The work group all sat together as one tends to do at functions where one doesnt know many people. Of course, they take pictures before coming into the hall for the reception/dinner. These pictures take FOREVER!. I mean we were promised a huge sit down dinner, which we can all smell, so we came hungry. Those two little Hersey Kisses at each place setting had a lot of baggage to tote. It was close to a two hour wait. Finally, they are done and the wedding party starts to enter the hall. This is when a lady gets up to make an announcement. They have run out of seating room and there isnt room for the entire wedding party to have seats. So she asks anyone who isnt a family member or closely connected to the bride and groom to leave. Everyone starts looking at each other and it quickly became apparent that everyone is looking at us, the mostly white group of coworkers in this otherwise all black assembly. 100+ people are now waiting to see who will respond to this request, so we all quietly and quite uncomfortably I might add, left. We are starving at this point so we all agreed to drive back to town and go have lunch together.

When Mary found out what happened she was mortified! Turns out the annoucement was supposed to say we ran out of room in the main hall so we set up tables and chairs in an additonal room and ask for volunteers to move to that room not to leave the event entirely. Apparently the talk of the dinner was "Can you believe they asked all the white folks to leave?" Her husband wound up having a huge BBQ dinner catered to us at work one day to at least fulfill the promise of feeding us. Guess I will never find out what that true Southern Black Dinner was all about lol.

I should’ve known. After having a history of changing an entire day’s itinerary to accommodate themselves during every family trip, to demanding we all drive in one car during those trips (Forcing us to do their activities) even after telling us to rent a small car because they had their own rental. This leads up to them asking us to change our wedding date to accommodate our BIL’s work trip (Luckily we didn’t have a venue at the time), and to them inviting more people to our tiny wedding which was supposed to be immediate family and closest friends only.

They tried to guilt us into inviting aunts and uncles that my fiance doesn’t even have relationships with. This was after explaining that I don’t have family that can afford to fly out (They live in another country) and we want to keep it intimate and also not have 30 people on his side and 10 on mine. We wanted 20-25 guests max.

Well, the future in laws did it again. I should’ve known better.

Last month they offered to pay for a pre-wedding dinner. Cool. Just my parents, sister, BIL, and my fiancé’s parents, sister, and her family. Laid back. We picked a restaurant and told them it’s what we had in mind.

Weeks go by and they called us panicking because they were nervous about the restaurant’s reviews and the grandchildren being able to sit still during dinner. They instead offer to host a dinner at their Airbnb with food from a restaurant. Instead of just our family they want to host their out of town guests (Their friends that they begged us invite). How cozy. Bumping elbows in an Airbnb while hoping my divorced parents don’t have to stand in the dinner line together.

BIL texted asking about the “Welcome party” the same day that my fiancés parents brought it up, which tells me that they already had the sister and BIL’s buy in without even getting OUR approval, you know, the couple that is getting married the day after.

I want to relax the night before my wedding with the food of MY choice, before OUR big day, surrounded by my family that will be flying across the ocean to see us and his family. I appreciate their gesture, but as someone who is anxious, introverted, and never wanted a wedding or anything extra, this is exhausting. We’ve bent so many times and I’m tired of it. My fiance should’ve said no about 10 times ago.

SMALL UPDATE: They texted us this morning saying that SIL and BIL are waiting for “numbers” from us. Number of guests? My fiance told them yesterday he’d talk to them on Sunday when he’s off from work and said we’d prefer a small restaurant gathering. Jesus Christ.

I had my bach party on the weekend that was one of my bridesmaid’s birthday. It was the only weekend that everyone was available in that entire month. I texted my friend beforehand and told her how does she feel that it might be on her bday and if she has other plans or don’t feel comfortable not being able to celebrate or having to celebrate me on her special day, then please let me know or don’t feel bad for not coming because I totally get it. Sometimes a birthday is important and I never wanna take that away from someone. She told me she’s happy to still come and love that she gets to celebrate me because a bach and marriage is much bigger than turning 28 and on top of that, birthdays happen every year. She kept assuring me so in my head I thought everything was good. Come the weekend of my bach trip, she forgot to pack makeup and freaked out. I was nervous and wanted to make sure she was ok so I took her to Sephora and cvs. She spent 2 hours in the stores shopping for makeup and cried. I offered her to use mine and she refuses. Threatened to go home. we finally figured out a solution and ended up delaying the trip for two hours which made the other girls upset. I’m trying to be peacemaker and tell everyone it’s ok, trip is still fine. I didn’t get to use the hot tub and pool because of that delay but didn’t want to express any disappointment to avoid drama.

Then the rest of the day she kept complaining do we really have to do the activities that I told my MOH that I wanted to do. And what happens if we just don’t. I just laughed it off and pretended she was just kidding. The whole trip she refuses to wear her bridesmaid sash and bridesmaid matching shirt. Then all next day, kept bringing up and only talking about her birthday. The rest of the girls felt awkward bc this is their first time meeting her so they don’t know why they should celebrate a random girl’s birthday over their friend’s bachelorette/wedding. She made a scene that she didn’t get good solo birthday pics and told me she had to go home early bc she had scheduled birthday FaceTimes. I didn’t want to make it a whole thing so I told her she can go. When we came to Airbnb and hung out, she stayed in her bedroom the entire night. She also was always the first one in the bathroom to get ready and even had me, the bride, got last to get ready every day.

Then a week later texted me that she felt that she was ignored about her bday all trip. I told her I wished her happy birthday at midnight and even took time to ask her if she had bday plans when we come back and how was her celebration with her bf the week before. So to me, I did acknowledge it but bc MY friends didn’t throw her a bday celebration on my bach trip, she felt neglected. I asked her if there was miscommunication and why did me wishing her happy bday not enough and when we got back I even handed her a bday gift I prepared and waited for the trip to be over to give? It’s been 2 weeks and still no reply from her and my wedding is in a month. I’m considering uninviting her from the bridal party and wedding bc my friends think she’ll try to ruin my wedding too out of insecurity and jealousy. She also kept bringing up on the trip how she really wishes her bf proposes to her now and trauma dumped the relationship onto girls she just met.

My son was married recently, his father and I have been divorced and both remarried for over 20 years to the same people. The brides parents had a table to the immediate left of the sweetheart table and my ex and his wife were seated at the table directly in front of it. My husband and I were seated at the worst table farthest to the back farthest away from everything with my parents and people that we didn't know and who didn't show up. We contributed substantially to the rehersal and wedding and I tried to be as helpful as possible without being pushy or involving myself in the planning unless asked. My son was deployed while the planning took place so he really had no input. I dont know the brides family that well as they live a few hours from us. I havent said anything because I wouldnt want to put a cloud over his day but Im a little hurt by it. It almost felt intentional and my sister in law even mentioned something after and she's a low drama person. Her and my brother had a better table than us and dont even know the family. I want to think this was just a bad attempt at mixing people to mingle but it didn't feel that way it was so awkward. We were the random table. They even came and took a couple of the empty settings and chairs while we were sitting there. 🤣 I enjoyed it anyway and had a great time.

My mom and I have a weird relationship. She's the mom that used to claim we were the tightest family when in reality she would yell at us and yell at me for having anxiety (trust me she's done worse)

She's also the kind of mom that puts on a front in front of everyone that makes it seem like she's great mom so everyone will compliment her and think she's a great person. She's also the mom that treats other people/her students SO well and like absolutely loves her students and constantly raves about them and shows us pictures of them. ????

Months ago I told her I wanted her to wear a specific color for my wedding and she wasn't on board until I started showing her ideas and she starting to warm up to the color. She would say she does't normally wear that color, but the color on her I know would look so great and make her look radiant.

They weren't perfect for me but I recently found THE perfect dress that I want her to wear. She keeps finding issues with it. My future MIL who we've had a rocky relationship but it's honestly getting better thankfully - she immediately was like "I'll wear whatever you want, it's your choice, just tell me and I'll wear it." I was pleasantly surprised she's been making the wedding stuff easy on me and my own mother isn't.

Anyways I started looking for my dress and got a little discouraged and asked my mom if I could take her and my future MIL out to look for dresses and she said "do we have to bring (insert MIL's name) in front of my fiance. My mom doesn't want her to come because my mom hates shopping and doesn't want to show my MIL that "side" of her she said. When I was done looking at dresses and was talking to my parents, she said "I'll help you if you give me some leeway with my dress"

Wow, geez, thanks mom. Conditional support. But she doubled down and said "well if you give me some leeway with my dress, I'll go shopping with you.'' I GET IT LADY.

I hope no one has a mom like mom, but does anyone have a mom like mine? She's so hard to deal with.

Some years ago, I was talking about how I don't ever want to have a wedding, and someone told me I'll change my mind when the time comes. Well, the time came and my stance didn't change one bit.

After our engagement, my fiancé and I decided that we should elope and just have a small party in a restaurant with immediate family only and an aunt of mine, who helped me when I moved to a different country.

It went sideways when I shared this with my mom. My cousin called me one day and said she heard I was planning a wedding, and she was asking so she could plan her trip. I got so mad! I told her that I was not planning any such thing, and that she should talk about her plans to whoever told her that.

When I raised the issue with my mom, she said that it was my aunt (who we wanted to invite to the little party) who was inviting everyone. My mom actually sided with my aunt and told me that I should be inviting all the extended family anyway because they are family, and that I should be grateful that they'd want to attend. I told her again that I don't want to have a wedding, to which she said that if I lived in the same country as her, she'd throw a wedding party for me anyway because that's her dream. Mind you, I'm the one getting married, and apparently I shouldn't have any right to decide how I want to get married! Looking back, she's always been like that. For example, as a child, she didn't allow me to try foods she didn't like, because if she didn't like it, then I wouldn't like it either.

After all this, I called the party off (luckily we didn't have a definite plan for it yet, since it was still too early) and removed myself from the family group chat. My fiancé and I decided to instead plan a trip for the immediate family without the aunt this time. My mom tried to convince me to let the whole extended family come along for the trip, but I shot that down and said if she keeps pushing this, we're not going to do anything at all. We rented a villa with enough capacity for the people we wanted to invite to avoid my aunt inserting herself into our plans and booking hotel rooms so all the extended family could come.

This all reminded me why I'm not close with my extended family. They have always disregarded my boundaries because I'm the youngest in the family.

The trip went fine, but I'm sure my family talks behind my back now.

I never thought I’d be posting something like this, but I genuinely don’t know how else to make sense of what happened.

My cousin got engaged last year, and early on she asked me to be part of her bridal party. We’ve always been close, so I was happy to be involved. For months I was helping her with little things, dress fittings, decor ideas, vendor coordination when she was stressed. Nothing felt off at first.

But a couple of months before the wedding, she started acting distant. Replies got short, plans were canceled last minute, and I could feel some kind of shift but I didn’t know what triggered it. I tried to give her space and assumed it was just wedding stress.

Then I found out from another family member that I had been removed from the bridal party group chat. I wasn’t told directly. I just… disappeared from it.

When I asked her about it privately, she said she was “trying to simplify things” and that I might have “too much going on personally” to fully commit. That confused me because nothing in my life had changed and I had been actively helping up until that point. I asked her if I had done something wrong, and she said it wasn’t about wrongdoing, just “energy alignment.”

After that, I stepped back completely. I stopped offering help and just waited for the wedding as a guest.

On the wedding day, everything seemed normal at first. But I noticed I was seated at a table far in the back with relatives I barely know. It felt intentional, but I didn’t want to assume.

Later, I found out from someone else that she had told a few people I “backed out due to personal reasons,” which wasn’t true.

I didn’t bring it up at the wedding because I didn’t want to cause a scene on her day, so I just left early.

Now the family is kind of divided on it. Some people think I should’ve just let it go for the sake of peace, others are confused because they saw how involved I was before I was suddenly cut out without explanation.

I’m not really angry anymore, just honestly confused about when things changed and why I couldn’t just be told directly instead of being quietly removed and then misrepresented later.

That’s pretty much it.