Bachelorette party mess
Hi everyone, this is more of a rant than anything else, about how my bachelorette party turned into nothing.
I get married to my beautiful wife this next september and she was excited, more than anything else, for the bachelorette party. For her, this was a reason to get married.
Our wedding and our friend group in general is fairly small and we both have been best friends since the beggining, so our friend grup is also mostly the same save a few people. We decided we wanted to have a joint bachelorette party, since we do pretty much everything together and we can't think about having that much fun apart. Also, our friend group would have a hard time organising TWO of them, being the same people.
A friend of mine offers / asks to organise it. I trust her wholeheartedly, since she is very organised and our friends and family members can be... disperse. We filled a doc with everything we like and a few no-nos, plus contact information for everyone who was invited and my friend started working on it.
Everything was a surprise, even the date of the event. They forgot to even "trick us", so they were actually lucky we were at home at all. That's fine. We had an AMAZING time in a place where they offer you a "ninja warrior" experience, hard physical tests and such and a big pool under the obstacles kind of thing. It was actually amazing. A friend of ours, who has previous problems and is quite clumsy, sprained her ankle and had to leave early. One person down.
After all of that, which was a couple hours, we changed and had dinner together picnic style. They brought a few homemade food and potato chips etc. Then they gave us some funny t-shirts and cowboy attire, make us a few questions "shoe game" style. Fun stuff.
They drive us to the apartment where we will spend the night (the day started at 11-12 or so, by this point its 5pm). Two people leave upon arrival, because they were tired - one of them being my SIL- ... 3 people down. There they make us play a short drinking game which is actually really funny, but we are also the only people drinking. The game ends, its before 6pm, and 2 more people leave. Which were actually the ONLY TWO PEOPLE who actually told the organiser they would leave early (they have BABIES at home). As soon as this 2 people leave, 3 more also leave. Just because. At this point is 6 pm and we're 7 people down. We are both drunk because they gave us shots, and we are thinking about whats next. Suddenly we realised.... there's only 6 people + us both, and one of them had a dislocated shoulder from the morning. She is a real one tho, and just went to the doctor and came back.
We went outside to have drinks... and no one was drinking. Just us. The mood was terrible. It felt trully like a normal hangout, but we both were dressed silly. 3 out of the 6 people there were my girlfiends SISTERS, because they're 4 sisters. By this point we are wondering what the plan is. We are sitting there chatting and we realise... that's it. There's no plan. Ok we can vibe it out. Suddenly another friend drops, with one of my SILs. My SIL's excuse? "I can't be without my boyfriend i have to be at home with him !!!!" . So, by 7-8pm, it's just us both, my friend who is organising, my friend with a dislocated shoulder, and two SILs. 4 people + us.
We asked about a plan, no one was apparently in the mood for anything nor there was anything planned. We just went have dinner at a pizzeria, and then went to the appartment. I made a few jokes about a SPA or Karaoke or party... which were met with "haha". There was a TONE of alcohol at the appartment but no one was in a drinking mood. So, we just, went to sleep at 11pm.
In the morning, we just went have breakfast at the most normal caffe in the world. And they drove us home. We are in Spain so you know this was EARLY for us.
My girlfriend was LIVID. Mad as hell. Mad at everyone. She was crying big tears (she never cries) and frustrated. I was also sad and disappointed. Everyone wanted to go to the cool ninjawarrior place and as soon as possible they all left. No party at all. No nothing at all. Ninja warrior, picnic lunch. That's it. The only people who stayed were 2 of our friends and 2 of her sisters. She was crying if she didn't have sisters non of her friends would have stayed (these 2 friends are "more of my friends" than hers). It took her more than a week to "accept" what happened, and she is pretty sure she wont ever get over it.
We talked to most of the people, incliding the organiser, who showed me all the polls and docs (censoring names to avoid drama) where it shows how everyone either ignored her or actually CONFIRMED they would STAY and then left. She was so confused she didn't know what to do and just couldn't keep the vibe up. We ALWAYS organise everything with our group of friends, we host or organise bascially EVERYTHING. And this is what happens when people take you for granted i guess. Now my girlfriend says this changed how she views the world and our friends forever.
TL;DR: everyone left early at our joint bachelorette party after 1 single activity , left us with 4 people who didn't know what to do. So we did nothing. I was mad but got over it after talking it out, my soon-to-be-wife doesn't know what to do because she is very resentful. Life sucks i guess.