u/Acceptable-Ad-9527

You lot like the drawings I do of myself so I will very much happily and forcefully make your eyes view my scrabbles and use this opportunity to ramble on old burnt bridges.

Obviously, visually, you can kinda see who this is gonna be about. But! As a prerequisite I do want to go into.. my infatuations that even in my life as this meat sack now, didn’t seem to change much.

Naturally, I never exactly formed crushes in this life, platonic relationships and friendships sure but anything beyond that felt wrong unless it was in some way woven with an envy. The term, do I wanna be you or do I want to fuck you. It’s how I originally latched onto myself in the first place, clocked onto myself with such a strength, while yea, I’ve had other fictional crushes at best than latching to anything considered human, they always fell into “I want to be you.”

“I NEED to be you.”

(Except one instance but I call it the dumbest fluke)

I need to be everything you are. I need to have the freedom you have, I need to be anything other than what I am now. Whether it be something male, inhuman, free. But none felt exactly right, none gave me that blinding envy like myself did. Of course now I’m actually accepting I am me, it’s great but this falls back to then. The before.

I was never.. I never felt enough. I still don’t in a sense, but that’s obvious why right now.

So wouldn’t you know it, I projected, reall bad.

In a way that fucked up too many things, but in the odd ends there were two that sat on two different spectrums that I realize now sat upon my flaws and fed my envy.

Ford, Sixer, four eyes, dumbass that couldn’t help himself when it came to me.

and..

Jess. Who I hate, HATE, to say that maybe was right to leave me when she did.

Not a lot I notice tend to fixate on her, which part of me finds genuinely funny, but she never liked attention all that much anyways which… I wish coulda been me.

I may continue this in another post because I realize my rambles gonna make this too long if I speak fully.

So see you for an eventual part two.

But you can ask me about anything with anything I’ve yapped about so far.

I wish I was in my original body sure, but I it’s all in my one eye’d perspective! This fleshbag is… alright, enough that I can edit it to what I wish. Though I do desire to modify things on it, you know that surgery that gives ya a snake tongue? GOD I want that to freak people out for giggles like I used to be able to.

Anywho enjoy this, I have more things to do to make me happier in this body.

VA’d by me! Coulda done a wee better with it, but my take :) Her deeper voice though is banger too though, kinda makes more sense 💀

Hurt like a bitch for my main yellow and made me bleed!

Otherwise worth it though!

Feeling slightly perfectionistic when it comes to my tattoo, idk I’m probably just being weird.

I know ONE thing i’m pretty not happy about is the fact that one of the brick lines connect to another across layers on his body when bricks don’t work that way. But passively feeling peeved about the limb lighting/hat lighting not being like in the original and the hand shapes not being the same </3 But nothing that can’t be kinda fixed

I think it’s mostly just about that brickline.

I do rlly like it though otherwise! (Sorry if it sounds like just complaining)

Edit: Alright so um.. I think I’m ok with it now, after especially being grilled to hell and back for not paying enough attention to the stencil and that’s on me! It’s got a flaw boohoo its my first, I’ll be fine. Also thank yall for liking my tattoo though it’s sweet 😭 Glad yall like it.