Ghosting This! Ghosting That!
32 single male here. As the title says, I keep reading about ghosting and how it sucks, mostly from the people whom I deem inexperienced and/or immature emotionally (a bit harsh, but bear with me)
To begin with, ghosting refers to the notion of not getting answers/messages from someone after already having established some sort of conversation and/or relationship etc. My opinion is a bit different on the topic, not out of desire to be different, I'm past the edgy teenagerhood phase of my life and also would literally gain nothing from karma farming since this is a disposable account.
As you may or may not have guessed, ghosting is okay in my opinion. Yes, it sucks to be ghosted, but as an adult you should be able to read between the lines. Pick up some non-verbal communication skills and don't get too drawn onto texting behind the screen, learn to make a separation between what's virtual and what's real, and eventually work towards converting virtual into reality step by step if that's within your line of interests.
Yes, adulthood implies being honest and open about your thoughts, ideas etc, but no everyone has grown into their fully fledged personality overnight, especially when you grow up in society or culture as psychologically repressive as Algeria (not whining, just stating the obvious). For me, it took years of Tmermid both personally and professionally to start paying attention to my feelings and psychology. Therapy helped a lot on this field, but I am still prone to it from time to time nevertheless. For the reference, I have been going to therapy for almost a year and a half as of the time writing this. Highly recommended if you can afford it since in my opinion, it remains one of the best investments a person can make on themselves except that it gets overlooked in our society simply because people don't see the outcome matching the investment (financially).
Ghosting usually happens when the ghosting person fails to convey their thoughts and emotions to the ghosted person, in other words, it becomes more challenging emotionally and intellectually to explain to the other person that you're no longer interested simply because explaining is seen as hard, tedious, unnecessary or simply not worth their time and effort, so yes, it boils down to a cost/value equation at the end of the day and the ghosted person has to pay for it simply because they let themselves get carried away by their expectations. Note that I am in no way, shape of form encouraging this behavior, just explaining it in layman's terms to perhaps make it easier to understand and put yourself in the opposing person's shoes.
So next time you feel like you're getting hooked on someone, step back and take a breath, and make sure this is exactly what you want and that you're okay with consequences, both negative and positive. And if you're being ghosted, ask them directly about it, if you get no reply, just move on and never look back. One last thing to add is that things get easier as you age, so if you're in your early twenties and feel like your world is crumbling because of whatever reason (ghosting or not), trust me, it's not, you're fine and you'll be finer that ever in a few years, just hang in there.
EDIT: Some of you might have not read and/or misunderstood the aim of the post so I'll reiterate once again. I am no way condoning ghosting as a behavior, nor encouraging it. It remains an immoral act and a sign of emotional immaturity and you wanna avoid inflicting it on people.
All I'm saying is, ghosting as a behavior/phenomenon or whatever you wanna call it, ISN'T going anywhere, and there is no feasible way to properly eradicate it from people, so you might as well learn how to react to it and cope with it. I am merely providing an oversimplified cheat sheet for less experienced individuals, something I might have benefited from in my younger years.
EDIT 2: Ghosting isn't a Reddit DM exclusive feature. It extends way beyond that to real life interactions, from personal relationships both platonic and romantic, to professional environments where recruiters ghost job applicants etc. The mere avoidance resulting in the inability to saying "No" can be considered as ghosting. So next time someone asks something from you and you refrain from firmly answering "No", you are technically ghosting them. If that happens to you, I'm sure you're not gonna lecture the said person on the immorality of such an act, hence the purpose of this post. Learn to cope with the existing issue instead of constantly complain about it. Note that this doesn't imply accepting it and encouraging it. If that's how you viewed this, my apologies to you, but that isn't the case. It is okay in the sense that it is not as big of a deal as people portray it once you're prepared for it.