u/Acceptable_Let_2592

I’m new to this caregiving thing and it kind of came out of nowhere. Over the past few months an elderly family member went from independently functioning to basically bedridden. They’ve been in and out of the hospital with surgeries, infections, fall injuries, etc.

They also spent several weeks in and out of rehab facilities, but due to insurance there wasn’t enough consistency for true recovery. Now they’re home but again they aren’t able to bath, go to the restroom on their own, get meals, etc. I’m the only local family and work.

We’ve discussed long-term nursing facilities but that comes with a cost. Also discussed getting in home care. The issue is they want to make all the decisions and I don’t have access to the financials or really any authority to decide.

I want to help as much as I can, but I don’t feel like this is sustainable trying to manage two households and basically fighting with them everyday to help. They keep saying they want to be in a nursing home but when I share the cost and say we need access to funds to pay it they just keep stalling. When I give the option to do in-home and getting the house modified for that still no movement.

I guess I’m just trying to understand what others did who might have been in a similar situation.