u/Acceptable_Pea11

I (29F) dated my ex (30M) since high school. Back then, his friends constantly teased him, saying I was too nerdy and that he deserved someone better, often comparing me to his ex. He never encouraged it, but he also never really defended me either.

A couple years into the relationship, I got into a serious car accident and nearly lost my eyesight. It completely wrecked my mental health for a while, and to his credit, he stayed by my side through recovery. Around the same time, he moved away for university while I took a year off to recover. The next year, I joined the same university in a different major.

Things were good initially, but after a while he started drifting away. He spent more time with friends, especially one girl who openly flirted with him. I told him I was uncomfortable with it, which led to arguments, but eventually things settled down.

That same year, my father became severely ill and passed away after months of treatment. I was devastated. I called my boyfriend crying while trying to rush home from another city. Even though we were in the same city at the time, he didn’t come to see me. I asked if we could meet before I left, and he said he was busy. He apologized later, but honestly that incident changed something in me.

We stayed together, but things kept getting more distant. He moved to another city for work and started a business, so we did long distance for a year. Then I also moved away for my own job. Eventually, we barely talked — maybe once a week — and it felt more like obligation than a relationship.

One day, I finally asked how this relationship was supposed to continue like this. We argued, and in frustration I said we should break up. After calming down, I apologized and told him I didn’t actually want to end things. He told me I was too dependent on him and that leaving me was better for my own good. I begged him to stay, but he didn’t.

After the breakup, he dated the same girl from college for a year or two. Over time, we completely lost contact.

Recently, out of nowhere, he called me saying leaving me was the biggest mistake of his life and asking if we could get back together. I refused.

Some of my friends think I’m being unnecessarily harsh because he supported me during my accident and eventually realized he made a mistake. They also think I should give him another chance since I’ve never dated anyone else. But it’s been 5 years since we broke up, and even though I’m not dating anyone, I just don’t feel the same way anymore.

AITAH?

I (29F) dated my ex (30M) since high school. Back then, his friends constantly teased him, saying I was too nerdy and that he deserved someone better, often comparing me to his ex. He never encouraged it, but he also never really defended me either.

A couple years into the relationship, I got into a serious car accident and nearly lost my eyesight. It completely wrecked my mental health for a while, and to his credit, he stayed by my side through recovery. Around the same time, he moved away for university while I took a year off to recover. The next year, I joined the same university in a different major.

Things were good initially, but after a while he started drifting away. He spent more time with friends, especially one girl who openly flirted with him. I told him I was uncomfortable with it, which led to arguments, but eventually things settled down.

That same year, my father became severely ill and passed away after months of treatment. I was devastated. I called my boyfriend crying while trying to rush home from another city. Even though we were in the same city at the time, he didn’t come to see me. I asked if we could meet before I left, and he said he was busy. He apologized later, but honestly that incident changed something in me.

We stayed together, but things kept getting more distant. He moved to another city for work and started a business, so we did long distance for a year. Then I also moved away for my own job. Eventually, we barely talked maybe once a week and it felt more like obligation than a relationship.

One day, I finally asked how this relationship was supposed to continue like this. We argued, and in frustration I said we should break up. After calming down, I apologized and told him I didn’t actually want to end things. He told me I was too dependent on him and that leaving me was better for my own good. I begged him to stay, but he didn’t.

After the breakup, he dated the same girl from college for a year or two. Over time, we completely lost contact.

Recently, out of nowhere, he called me saying leaving me was the biggest mistake of his life and asking if we could get back together. I refused.

Some of my friends think I’m being unnecessarily harsh because he supported me during my accident and eventually realized he made a mistake. They also think I should give him another chance since I’ve never dated anyone else.I am grateful for all that he did for me but it’s been 5 years since we broke up, and even though I’m not dating anyone, I just don’t feel the same way anymore.

AITAH?

Update: I talked to my friends today and laid out the entire thing again. Told them about my father's incident and how he left me at that moment. I never told them about the entire reason we broke up. So I just mentioned how even once a week call was being too dependent acc. to him. And I have made my point clear that I am not ever dating him and they should stop insisting if they want to remain friends. They understood mostly and I will end things with someone who tries to convince me again.