u/AccomplishedWeird321

I had a friend who I thought was my best friend. We were so close. But I went through a horrible depression and she was only supportive for a few weeks once I opened up about it. She then was so horribly mean to me and ended up cutting me off and pretending I didn't even exist even though we see each other frequently enough. Well she decided to text me a few days ago after years of pretending I don't exist. It wasn't really a response worthy text so I just ignored it. She made herself out to be this wonderful person in the text.

The text shook me for just a little while. Yes I'm still thinking about it, but it hasn't altered my mental state. I'm proud of myself. I feel like that is major progress. A few years ago, I would have spiraled. I am very anxiously attached and she is very avoidant.

Just being proud of myself for this tonight.

Yes, I know depression can affect memory, but how and why? And how much? I can't remember a lot of my childhood, but I think most of that reason is I blocked it out. But I have always had a bad memory, but it gets worse the older I get. My memory really is hot garbage. I really worry about it. I could give so many examples that aren't normal, but it would make this post too long and that's not the point. I just want to know the effects depression has on the brain.

I have dealt with depression (with SI) since I was a kid. Even when things are good and I'm "happy," depression is still there and I still struggle. I did go through a really low low a few years ago and I noticed it made my brain even worse. So can the constant state of my mental health cause so many problems with my cognitive abilities and memory? How does that even work? I'll ask my therapist when I see her in a few weeks, but it was something I have been wondering about lately.