AITAH for threatening to kick my son out for not wearing longer shorts
I (47F) and my son (18M, we'll call him Kyle) have been going back and forth on whether he should be wearing longer shorts.
I taught him how to do his own laundry at 16 but last year I told him I would not be doing it for him anymore as he was graduating high-school and becoming more of an adult. Kyle, instead of applying to colleges, applying to jobs, or actually doing his own laundry, just plays video games all day in his room. So his boxers (as well as the majority of his clothes) never get washed.
The main issue this is causing is that sometimes when Kyle is wearing shorts you can see his genitalia peeking out depending on how he is sitting or moving about. I had talked to my husband (68M, we'll call him Dave) about this initially, and he has tried to talk to our son about this too. As I was told, our son's response was to ask why we were looking and why it mattered and that there was little difference between his clothes and how “women wear shorts and swimsuits that show their fat asses all the time.” Dave, disappointingly, said Kyle has a good point and shrugged it off.
I also brought this up to Kyle's boyfriend (19M, we'll call him Brad). He apparently sees no issue with Kyle's genitalia peeking out and talked about how women wear revealing clothing all the time, so “Kyle should be able to exist in his natural body and wear whatever he wants because he's an adult.” We then got into an argument about how Kyle doesn't do his own laundry because that is the cause of this issue. Brad attributes the laundry problem to Kyle's supposed “depression” over his birth father ending his own life years ago.
I, sick of everyone telling me it was okay for my grown adult of a son to go out in public spaces with the threat of his genitalia peeking out (and potentially in front of children!), threatened to kick Kyle out if he doesn't either buy longer shorts or do his laundry. Kyle freaked out on me and in protest, while shouting at me, threw his messy clothes all about the house and then left the house (I assume to Brads). My husband stood around silently while this all of this happened and then went out for a cigar because he knows I hate his smoking as I have asthma and he did not want to discuss the problem.
So. Am I the asshole for threatening to kick Kyle out if he doesn't wear longer shorts so his genitalia doesn't show?