u/According_Side_2058

Teachers are definitely lying when they say “I don’t see the bullying”. I’ll accept this phrase only if the kids are really far away.

However, the classroom is a finite small space. Unless they are blind or have no eyes or have their backs turned or something. The whole “I didn’t see or hear any bullying” is a big fat lie and deflecting responsibility. Normally classrooms are 24 feet by 30 feet from my research.

I worked at a large retail store and from far away from me I can see family drama and a few Karens wanting a manager. So yeah, that’s why I don’t buy the whole “I don’t see anything” line teachers say.

I just wanted to let this one out.

Before I go on further. I know some of my ideas you’ll disagree with, or you might think it’s stupid, or some seem too harsh. However, when I think of the Reeva Kirk case, Skylar Neese case, Nex Benedict case, Jonathan Edward Lewis Jr case and Columbine and countless others. I get so upset it’s because after over 20 years since I graduated highschool nothing has changed.

Here are my ideas and I’m going to state a short reason of why.

1. ) school uniforms-kids should look equal. No one can make fun of each other’s clothes if you wear the same thing.

Edit: my school had three opening chances to have school uniforms during huge admin meetings. However, nothing came about it.

2.) school administrators and school staff need to fully admit there the bullying problem is something they cannot fix alone. They have to admit that they are burnt out, overwhelmed, and they can’t fix it alone.
Admitting the problem and admitting that they cannot resolve it is one of the first steps. Too many teachers are so arrogant and think there is no issue.

3.) federal funding for a third party advocates that will assist in watching kids in classrooms, monitoring all parts of the hallway, bus rides, in restroom monitors, and there will a few of them walking around empty hallways.
The job will be defending kids from bullies. They can report the bullying, they have the ability to make a phone call to the parents. They are there to ensure victim is safe and make sure parents are notified of who did what to their kid.
They need to push school staff for a real punishment. No cheesy detention. It will be parent conference. The suspension up to 2 weeks to full year depending. Any sign of school negligence will be documented and sent to education board. The team is to be professional with school staff at all times.

4. more cameras with audio the school. Victims need proof. We need birds view as well as side view.

5)Federal admin needs to pass a law that states “bullying, intimidation, harassment is illegal outside and inside school premises.”

4. if a kid does witness bullying or overhears something inappropriate like threats or insults that needs to be taken seriously. First protect the witnesses and any innocent kid involved. Parents must be notified. If deemed serious, police had to intervene.

My school, actually received a shooting threat in the restrooms. Police were called. But nothing came out of it. They had the nerve to let school continue.

5. Starting in elementary school. All students behavior and personality must be monitored and documented. Include complaint tickets made about the student Like bullying, etc. This info must be in a database and updated frequently by a trusted team. This is so we can document patterns and information. This info will be passed on to every school they go to.

This is important a bio needs to be built so that at least kid something happens the staff needs to make a judgement. For example in High school Julia got shoved by Katherine, but there were no witnesses. Katherine poured juice on Julia . Again no witnesses. Julia tells a teacher, teacher looks in the database and sees that Katherine during fifth grade made a death threat to another classmate. They see five complaints written about her abusive behavior.

The teacher then phone calls home to Katherine’s parents. Parent teacher conference. The admin now suspends Katherine for three weeks. If she does it again it two month suspension.

6. Back pack and airport checkpoint before entering a school. If staff finds something. Phone call home and calling police.

7. Parents need to know who are in the kid’s class and who are their kids talking to. No secrets.

8. No more labels! No more labels. No more jock, prep, emo, geek or band nerd labels! No more!
   This put kids in a box.

These labels are harmful because of that barely anyone wanted to be my friend. That’s how I got stuck with the leftover kids. Lemme tell you the leftover kids were leftovers due to their crappy behavior. It was like the group of friends from the “big bang theory show.” The only thing we had in common was we were the left over kids.

9. removal of peer mediation. I mean if it’s not used in a workplace it has no place on schools. Peer mediation often makes it works and retraumatizes victims. Counselors always gaslight the victim. They always do. They keep on downplaying the severity.

10. this maybe unpopular opinion. The bullies need to be isolated from the other kids. They don’t deserve the right to make friends or form little gangs. Without a “friends” they are powerless. No friends equals no support. Supervised lunches.

My leftover jerk faced fake friends took the bullies side.

11. if teacher or any school staff is burnt out. Then give those teachers a free one week off. The last thing we want is a cranky teacher that takes anger out on victims.

We always gotta keep the victim safe.

11. victims option to do online schooling. If they need to switch schedules to avoid bullies. Or better yet. Rearrange the Bully’s schedule so the victim doesn’t have to suffer.

12. school staff need to pick a side. School staff should have the right to insult the bully and call them out at this point. Bullying is not a conflict between two equals. It’s conflict between a victim and an aggressor. Failure to pick a side means the victim doesn’t get support. Failing to point out how awful and vile the bully is equals to telling the bully they are correct. This happened to me.

13. real punishments need to be given in bullying.
    But always call the parent. Calls must be recorded.
    Schools need to grow a back bone and keep victims safe. Otherwise history repeats itself again.
    1st offense punishment depending how severe is phone call home. One week detention during lunch and after school or one week suspension. Restraining order to protect victim.

2nd offense punishment. Call home. 2 to 3 week outside of school suspension. Plus parent teacher and admin conference. Banned from one school event: prom or field trip. I let the bully decide.

3rd offense. 4 week outside of suspension all school work must be completed at home. If bully parents push back or get testy or they themselves get aggressive. Time to get security involved. Parents are given a warning that if they ever jump in the office and behave like that again. School will place a real police retraining order against bullies’ parents. From my experience and theory, bullies have trash parents. It’s always been like that. Bully banned from all events.

4th and final offense. Suspended maybe for the full year or for life depending on severity. If they graduate. Private ceremony for them. As I hate it when bad people get rewarded. My bully managed to go to all school events despite of horrible they were to me. It isn’t fair.

14)bullied victims are allowed to have body cameras on them. After all the school constantly needs evidence. I wish I had a hidden camera on me

15. have a A group schedule B group schedule and C group schedule. For example A group kids just go to school on Monday and Tuesdays. Group B kids Wednesday and Thursday. These are just examples. school should be open on Sunday or Saturday just in case if schedules cannot be lenient for victims. Maybe these schedules can work for teachers as well. They want flexibility.

I know many of you may disagree with this. But I would have loved if my school cared enough about me to make sure I don’t spend a day in a bullies class.

16. safe rooms for introverted students. This is only for the kids who feel unsafe and are relentlessly bullied. However, this must be confirmed by a monitor that this is true. I seen so many kids at my school abuse the video rooms and chorus room. But that’s another story. The kids are placed in private cubicles with curtains. This is a place where they can eat in peace and quiet or nap. But the rule is no talking unless they need something. This space is to decompress. This needs to be like a tranquil spa vibe. However, in this space no frenemies or bullies are allowed.

17. monitors and mentors should keep a digital log and paper log of who’s a real friend or frenemy or bully of a victim. This info need to be shared to the parents just in case something happens. If I was a parent I want to know who my kids are interacting with. Secrets like this should not be kept. That way a parent can protect their kid of anything were to go down. This builds a social history. Too many bad secrets were kept from my parents. But Oh no…but the stupid school always brings up bad grades! Always! They never call home to see of a kid is safe.

18. teachers and staff and third party mentors are allowed and encouraged to speak out against any unfairness or unbiased behavior seen. Unbiased behavior needs to be documented and reported to the highest power of the school district. Teachers staff or anyone cannot get away with corruption. Too many complaints or if investigations turn out to be true. Termination is on the table.

19. schools are encouraged to tell parents of online school options and homeschool options. Back in my time, homeschoolers were shamed upon and it was so stupid and basically discriminatory.

20. school budget or tax dollars should not be wasted upon stupid things like new desks or new coffee maker for the teachers. That needs to go and benefit towards children’s welfare and safety.

21. have empathy and etiquette classes in elementary schools to jr high. We want to change the culture. We need more kindness.

22. for kids with truly feel like they lack real friends or introverted kids they should get an option to be in a penpal program with adult or school supervision of course. I could have used a pen pal from another school from another state. I felt no one understood me.

23. when calling the victims parents or guardians to notify there is bullying then there should be empathy and there is no victim blaming and there is no bringing up grade point averages! No need to bring a kid down! Assure the parents their kid is a victim.

Hold the bullies accountable. Kids are capable of being evil just like an adult. Kids are not little dolls. Kids are people. We have rights and freedoms and responsibilities and privileges.

24. edit: staff and monitors and teachers must be open minded and must be trained that there are different types of bullying. There’s fake friends, peer to peer bullying, teacher bullying kids, physical, mental, emotional and psychological and etc.

Guys, I know this was long. If you guys disagree it’s okay our bullying experiences are different from one another. Please do not insult me. Some are very similar to one another. I needed to get this out of my system. My school really failed me. I lost so much trust in my school system. They had the nerve to sent me a booklet on asking for a budget raise. I only vote “yes” only if they will stop and punish bullying for real.

My jr high bullying often stalked me. She got away with everything it was disgusting. Two of the main counselors were the ones that have her the power to do what she wanted. The counselors defended her every time!

Edit: my last thoughts. Children cannot be responsible to make sure environment is safe. That is the responsibility of the adults in charge.

Schools need to be open minded and try options that protect the victims. It’s the kids that are vulnerable not the adults.

I don’t care what no one says.

It’s the schools responsibility to make sure they protect the good kids that don’t get jealous of the peers. The type of kid that is happy for others. The kids that are giving. The kids that want to help others. Good kids always become good adults and contribute to society. That’s way more important than having straight As in my opinion. Love makes the world go round.

As someone on here said. There is only 1 good teacher out of 10 teachers. Therefore there is only 8 good teachers in a sea of 80 teachers that doesn’t look good at all.

I understand teachers get burnt out. I know some don’t get paid like they wanted. I understand their bosses can be a pain in the butt. However, it’s not an excuse to not help the good kids. I hate it when a teachers think good grades equals good kids. That’s not the truth! Some kids are slackers. But some kids try and they get bad grades. But my point is that they try.

I don’t know when in a teacher’s career that they lose their humanity, but when they lose it it’s a darn shame.

I mean they wouldn’t want their kid to be a victim. Why wouldn’t they help someone else’s kid?
They don’t wake up till a kid dies. Do they even feel guilty that they didn’t do more? I mean it takes one phone call. They can expel the kid. I know they can. They keep on waving the code of conduct in everyone’s faces, but it means nothing if they don’t follow it!

I’m sick of hearing “oh we didn’t see anything” I would rather hear the teachers say “I don’t care about your kid, I did see it, but didn’t take action”. That way the parents know the truth. I’m sick of hearing “peer mediation”. That’s just stupid. I never once did peer mediation when a coworker was bothering me. Never!

Children are humans. They are people. They aren’t little dolls that you can step on and don’t care about.

They understand emotions and some kids are complex. You don’t tell an adult who got abused by a their partner “hey have you tried to do peer mediation with them?!” Oh heck no that’s stupid. That retraumatizes the victim and it does nothing. Or if your a doctor in a hospital a patient is in pain. The doctor tells the patient “ignore it , can you come back tomorrow I’m too busy to care now!” That’s absurd right?! That’s how teachers and school administrators treat bullying!

I pray for one day a written law is made and passed for anti-bullying. There are no laws. It’s sad that schools are so immune to the damage they cause to kids. It’s not fair.

It’s the division of responsibility.

Adults- their job keep the children safe, prioritize the non-bully kids . Punish bad kids and make sure their parents know. Make sure no more bullying occurs. Remove bullies out of school. They need to correct the behavior of the bully. It’s the adults job to intervene and interfere to protect the kids. Kids cannot fight against bullying if the bullies get support.

Kids-their job to be behaved. Do their school work. Feel safe and feel confident and trust a teacher if they don’t feel safe.

My school was so evil to me. I fought bullying alone. They kept on defending my bully.
Schools will always be a bad place for good kids because there are anti bullying laws! Without hard laws in place. The schools keep on doing this BS and good kids suffer!

It’s not hard to make a phone call to bullies parents and victims parents. It’s not.

The teachers always yell at the kids that yawn or have bad grades, but they never yell or punish the kids that are evil.

End of rant.

I was just on the r/ teachers subreddit. I read through a post where a math teacher said he was about to get fired to kids scoring low on tests or something.

Honestly, I had empathy. I was kind. I really felt sorry for the teacher. Let’s be fair no one should lose a job due to kids’ bad grades.

So I told the teacher send a letter to the parents. Tell the parents there are ways a kid can improve on math. Like mymathlab or some ai program and convince them these are good investments. I told him it helps to simplify things. Maybe add in final projects to help kids boost the grade. Mymathlab did help me through college that’s why I recommended it. It did not make me into a math whiz, but I passed.

Then I told him that maybe he should let the principal know that these kids don’t learn the same and maybe they have some math blindness thing(it’s a real thing, I struggled in advanced math all my life).

I mean sure these programs can help a kid. It’s just parents need more convincing of what’s a good investment by another fellow adult.

You know what happened? A teacher on there told me to “p&ss off and read the room”. I was embarrassed I blocked the person and deleted my comment.

This is me trying to help. A former student trying to give perspective. Thats so scary. They don’t want feedback from someone that struggled in math. I was offering help or a new pov. It helps to get another idea.

How this ties to bullying? If a teacher reacts to empathy and chews me out for having empathy then how are they gonna handle bullying without being open minded to ideas? Thats the problem! One must be open to many options and ideas to combat bullying. Peer mediation and write-ups aren’t enough. Those may have worked in the 60s, but not anymore. Times change. People change. Cultures change.

That’s like if comforted a teacher with a flower when they are crying and they turn snap at me. As a reminder, I know not all teachers are like that. But sheesh Louise, many are like that.

I got snapped at, by a teacher for being empathic? Yikes what a world!

I was on one those ask a question Reddit r/askteachers. I was only asking the bad teachers of why they ignored bullying. Many of them, but not all of the teachers took it as attack when I only wanted answers.

In my opinion, A teacher’s job is to teach, but they need to set a moral standard and teach kids on how to be a good person as well. Society puts teachers on a pedestal of trust.

Teachers are the adult no matter what. Kids needs protection.

A handful of them proved my point that many teachers lacked empathy and some teachers even downvoted bullying victims stories.

I swear the teachers that took my post as a personal

attack to them needs to be studied. I was disappointed in the big ego teachers. The teachers that answered in a more calmer fashion I appreciated them.

I think the real issue with bullying is this: staff members don’t want to team up and tell their boss “hey look we have a problem and we need to fix this”. The first step is admitting there is an issue and the next step is coming up with solutions. However, the bullies need a punishment. The victim needs justice.

Just a rant. I was half way disappointed how some of the teachers snapped at me like that. They reminded of the egotistical teachers that personally dealt with.

I could use some reassurance.

Do not take offense to this question as a former kid that got bullied physically and emotionally many

times in front of the teacher, no teachers defended me.

I want to know the real brutal ugly truth even if it’s hurtful why don’t teachers protect the good kids from bullies and their so-called abusive friends?

When I say good kids, I’m not talking about the popular kid that’s well liked or those kids with good grades or high honor roll kids or the cheerleader with straight As .

When I say good kids I’m talking about the kids that aren’t perfect, are not popular and don’t have the highest grades. I am talking about the kids that truly want to grow up and be apart of society and the kind of kid that shares their lunch with the kid that forgot their lunch or the kid that helps the janitor clean up.

Edit: Thank you for the people that answered.

For those that attacked me when I made it clear I WAS NOT TALKING ABOUT ALL TEACHERS.

Many of you made this about you!! Some of you I had to block. THE TEACHERS THAT THOUGHT I WAS MAKING IT ABOUT THEM PERSONALLY THEN YOU NEED TO BE STUDIED! My college professors never had this much ego!

I AM TALKING ABOUT THE ONES THAT DO IGNORE BULLYING ON PURPOSE!!! THIS QUESTION IS JUST FOR THEM!!

The ones that got downvoted due to their experiences of bullying I’m sorry you got downvoted. The lack of empathy is astounding. Now I know the truth you bad teachers , just the bad ones don’t care about the kids. I’m glad I know the truth. I came here to find the truth. Didn’t expect to see a bunch of Karens taking stuff so personally.

Teachers that took what I said personally, You have no idea what hell I went through in my teen years. You have no clue! How scared i was . I reported bullying every single day till I gave up as the no one helped. One counselor told me to my face she was sick of helping me!

I want to let you know a suicide due to bullying happened at my school years after I graduated. Plus a kid sustained horrific injuries due a bully beat the crap of them. Both stories appeared in local news.

Some are very good teachers that care about protecting kids. But they are few.

Edit: who is the jerk off keeps voting down on me? in each comment? No like for real. F—-king stop.