Is attraction needed for a successful marriage?
For background:
I was born and raised in the US, the guy in question was born in our home country. Our families have known each other since we were children.
When I was 14 we visited our home country and I began having a silly children's crush on him and confessed my feelings the night before our flight the next day. Once I arrived back into America, I don't know how to describe it, but it's like I snapped back into reality and regretted what I had done. I hadn't thought much of it and thought we would both move on. Fast forward to present day, he was able to come to America by his own means with his entire family. We live in different states but they came to visit after not seeing us after 7+ years.
When I saw him I honestly didn't feel any outward attraction, to be quite honest I was pretty indifferent. There were some things that threw me off, like his hair seemed extremely fried (apparently he tried having a perm which caused a lot of damage/breakage) and his hands (he is a nail biter and some sort of deficiency causes the nail plate to be purple.) Both of these things I realized are a big deal to me. I am attracted towards curly and full hair and nice kept hands.
Despite not seeing each other in such a long time, (and frankly even after I have gained some weight) I have recently found out he is still in love with me and that his entire family and extended family were made aware by him that he likes me and wants to marry me. His parents confronted him about his insistent rejection of acceptable marriage proposals to which he expressed he does not wish to look at anyone that is not me. His parents, like I said, are family friends and they are supportive of the relationship should it occur. Emotionally, I appreciate how he gets along with elders and has an extroverted and warm personality which is well loved by everyone. He is funny and considerate and cares for me even when I am not present in the gathering. He is religious also and led our family in prayer when they visited. Financially, he is stable and has aspirations.
Everything about his seems perfect except I am unable to find myself attracted to him in a romantic way. I feel like a shallow person for thinking these things and also remind myself that I would hate/think it is unfair to meet someone and they would have to convince themselves to find me attractive. Along with that though, I don't think it is fair to only love the way someone loves you and not love them in the same manner. It is also not fair that if I go through with the marriage, that we have issues with intimacy because of the attraction barrier.
However, I know in Islam spouses are meant to be a source of peace for each other and I know he would bring me peace in a marriage, especially in comparison to the turbulent marriage of my parents. But I can't help but feel like I won't find anyone else who has not fallen in love before or had a past, or will treat me with the same love or consideration that I would be equally attracted to as well.
Should I overlook these things knowing that everyone has shortcomings and accept them as his? Or is this naive to do?
BarakAllah feekum