u/Acrobatic_Soup9393

cao ljudi, da li jos neko ima problem sa crtanjem iz glave? godinama crtam ali umem samo da preslikavam a jako zelim da razvijem neki svoj stil i naucim da crtam iz glave. neki saveti? hvala :)

i finally realized i was emotionally abused after 3 years. i was familiar with grandiose narcissists behavior but not with covert and he made me think i was completely losing my mind. my now finally ex bf made me completely lose sense of self and stability for 3 years. the thing is i would always tell myself “hes not bad” bc he never used degrading words or yelling. he is the type of person who was lying and gaslighting. he would always promise a bunch of things (most of the time unprovoked) and never follow up with action. whenever i would bring it up he would just ask for more time or promise even more things to shut me up and keep things calm for some time. but it was a never ending cycle. he knew i was mentally unstable and had some problems in life at the time and would say “he would do anything to help me/make me feel better” but never did even the smallest things. he would constantly lovebomb with words and “fake future planning” that i genuinely didn’t know what to believe. bc of my mental health problems i wasnt able to have a job for some time and he said he would take care of me financially (i didnt ask him to). meanwhile i was struggling the only thing he ever helped with is bringing food (one meal- not even groceries) when he came over to my place which was like 2 times a week. and he would make it a HUGE deal and say how im ungrateful if i ask for more(meanwhile he was saying he wanna help more*and he can/he is financially stable*).

he didnt want to have sex for months (unless i initiate and even then barely) but kept denying that hes not attracted to me anymore.he kept lovebombing and saying how beautiful and the best i am. he was always EXTREMELY secretive about his phone and keeps it in his pocket or purse always when with me. he didnt wanna use his phone at all next to me. and last year on valentines day i saw a girl calling him and caught him in a lie abt who she is. then he didnt wanna let me see their messages bc “she calls everyone love and baby” then threatened to kill himself if i break up but still denying cheating. the bought me a new phone immediately that day as a “gift for vday” but didnt buy anything before even tho we were together all day.

for more than a year before ending the relationship he would only come to my place without inviting me to his. our relationship looked like i was in a hospital and he would come over twice a week for 3-4 hours. i didnt have anyone except him.

this year for vday i told him he doesnt need to buy me a gift at the 14th bc he had some little debt. he said “ur the best im thats why imma give u even more when i pay this off” and the he paid it off and i didnt get anything ofc. then my bday came up few months later and i told him the same thing since he had some loans again. he said the same thing. he paid it off. i didnt get anything again.
and when i brought it up he would say i only care abt money 🤡 but hes the one that kept promising things all by himself.

he would ask me if im hungry (like if i want him to send me money so i can order smtn) and then i would say “yes” and he would say “ dont u have anything to eat at home?” and when i say no he would proceed to do nothing about it. remember hes the one that was asking me this question without me telling him anything first.

anyway whenever i would try to break up for 3 yrs he would cause scenes and tantrums of all kinds. this time i was being distant again without officially breaking up and he gave up a he didnt text me for 6 days. this never happened in whole 3 y so im really relieved. i assume he found a new vicitim and i hope he wont ever text me again. bc this time i realize that its not my fault after i was always blaming myself and feeling guilty.

theres a lot more manipulation and abuse that was going on but i wanted to share this so i can hear from people who been thru similar situations. i was literally crying happy tears for 3 days after he left me alone for the first time.